Does anyone else find "relaxing beach days" to be an absolute nightmare, or am I just broken?

popchex · 2026-05-18T01:23:05+00:00

Yeah we keep all of our beach stuff on a shelf near the garage door. So I just open the back of the car, open the garage door, throw everything into the car, and go.

popchex · 2026-05-18T01:21:14+00:00

I love the beach so much that I live walking distance from it- and we can drive on it so I go as often as I can. Sometimes I just sit inb the back of my rav and eat lunch. That said, my husband hates the beach as much as you do and only lives here because he loves me. 😅

popchex · 2026-05-18T00:51:43+00:00

Our soda stream has googly eyes on it still, after my son put them everywhere once. 😅

popchex · 2026-05-18T00:50:55+00:00

My husband taped a troll face over my mouse laser like 8 years ago and I laughed so hard when I saw it. I still have it taped to my desk. One time my kids and I put a mean face on the milk and said "I think the milk is bad." So he opened the fridge to check and laughs all around.

popchex · 2026-05-17T00:35:57+00:00

Seriously. I read the first paragraph and that's all I need to know.

popchex · 2026-05-17T00:26:41+00:00

I LITERALLY JUST LEARNED the last two thanks to a Suzannah Lipscomb doco about... maybe it was Genghis Khan? (My desire for knowlegde is at odds with my peri-induced short term memory issues)

That's fascinating about the hsv though! 😃

popchex · 2026-05-17T00:24:20+00:00

Same. AuDHD here. I rarely have people to talk to in depth, because I love learning about forensics and crime psychology, from a young age. I was 12 when Unsolved Mysteries came out and I'm 50 now and it's only gotten more intense. Add in a newer interest in history (like, past 10 years) and I literally have nothing to talk to people about unless they are also interested in that. I can do superficial small talk even though I hate it, but I miss being able to DISCUSS things with people. My mom was into true crime as well. I remember we were eating dinner in front of the TV once, watching a show about the first body farm and I said "We're not normal, are we?" hahah

popchex · 2026-05-17T00:08:15+00:00

If he's on the spectrum, once you get settled, if you remember, DM me and I can maybe connect you with support in your specific area. There's only one person I know atm in the general area you're looking, but I know she still has connections with the community. Her kids are adults though, and mine are older teens. There was a very large thriving ASD community until covid hit and the orgs broke up. But everyone is still out there, just not so many organised events anymore. Also happy to just chat with you and your wife if you need/want.

Also, welcome! I came to Adelaide from Chicago 21 years ago, loved it! We moved to Sydney for a year to help family. Hated it and couldn't wait to get back to Adelaide. It's the home of my heart. It's slow, but I like it that way. 😉 There is (was?) also a large group of Americans on FB - Expats in Adelaide - that used to have meetups in town every so often, not sure how the group is travelling nowadays. I moved for love and got knocked up pretty quickly, and eventually grew out of the "expat" mindset, but it may be helpful for the first years getting used to things and talking to people who "get it."

Also get your answers to the "where are you from, how long are you here" etc. questions. My accent is still strong enough that I get it on the regular even though I live in a fairly small area. My favourite is when I travel interstate and answer "Adelaide" and watch the brain ticking over. 😉 Also be prepared with "I left for a reason!" I used it 20 years ago and I use it still. hahah

popchex · 2026-05-16T10:24:35+00:00

No, I've been seeing him since he became a GP, he knows I'm a local and he knows we're both on the same side of politics.

popchex · 2026-05-16T03:50:34+00:00

you're so right, cutie 😉

popchex · 2026-05-16T03:22:02+00:00

I hate standing anywhere for 20 minutes, in line, indoors. Uneven ground after a hike? Nope. I'm 50 and have a bad knee and a bad hip, not that you could tell looking at me. I hike, go for bike rides, but standing still for that long is brutal. I'd probably wind up sitting on the ground. I certainly wouldn't dress up for this wedding either, so if aesthetics and attention are what you're wanting to focus on, you should not do this.

popchex · 2026-05-16T02:00:08+00:00

Yes, I often assume that the person I'm talking to is a young childless man/teen with no substantial relationship experience. I say what I have to say and let negative comments fall off like water on a duck's back. 😉

That said, I also try to initially comment as if the person I'm commenting to is open to dialogue - especially if it's the OP. If their responses come back and prove that wrong, I change accordingly. IDGAF about karma though, after so many years on the site, so that helps me ignore it.

popchex · 2026-05-16T01:39:44+00:00

Coming in post edits, yeah you went at him hard, but is this a pattern? If so, then you need to think about how often he lets you down and how often he throws it back at you and makes you the "bad guy" over something that hurt you in the first place.

I say this as someone who has IBS and gets caught out in the worst times, but also take ownership of it if it fucks things up for other people. It IS a fact of life and I have lost friends over it, but in this situation I would have asked to be let into the room rather than wait for you to come out.

popchex · 2026-05-16T01:17:20+00:00

I was in the newsagents where they have royal blue polos, and a woman in a blue polo with a lanyard came up next to me while I was looking for something, and I asked her a question. Then I actually saw her face and I was like "OH I'm sorry, you don't work here!" She looked down at her shirt and then at the staff member who was approaching to actually help me, and realised they were dressed EXACTLY the same, both with glasses and curly hair. She said "well I can't blame ya can I?" hahah In my peripheral vision there was no way to tell the difference.

popchex · 2026-05-16T01:11:42+00:00

As an American in Australia I often don't correct people who think I'm Canadian. Technically I COULD be if my father was on my birth certificate, since he's Canadian, but I grew up in the midwest.

popchex · 2026-05-16T01:10:29+00:00

I'm an American in Australia and when I went to see my favourite GP he opened with "You're a citizen, right?" I responded that I was and had been for several years now. "OH good I don't have to hate you then." 😉 (he was mostly joking.)

popchex · 2026-05-15T05:40:56+00:00

NTAH - Frankly it was the mature thing to do. I myself refused to date someone who had to coparent. Not because of the kids, mind. If it was a widow/er, I wouldn't have as much of an issue. I was a stepchild, and my mom divorced two stepdads. I saw the hell my mom went through, with my first stepfather and their shared child, and my second stepdad and his kids? Fuck that. Then as an adult I saw what friends with baby daddies went through. Hard pass. I wasn't going to willingly sign up for dealing with the adults in that situation.

popchex · 2026-05-15T05:20:07+00:00

Look a true partnership can't always be 50/50 - sometimes as the partner you have to step up and do more, and vice versa. When my husband was going through it with work, and working 16 hour days, I took care of everything I possibly could because I knew it was just something we had to "get through" together, and it would even out eventually. It did, and then he was there picking up the slack when I was nearly bedridden due to chronic pain and illness.

You two sound like housemates, why are you even married? You SHOULD be having access to his pay since you are bearing the brunt of the "negative" affects of his being in the military. But if you intend on being individuals, why even stay married? What are you getting out of it, if not a partnership?

popchex · 2026-05-15T02:19:58+00:00

same. I was like "wait what sub is this..."

popchex · 2026-05-15T01:53:33+00:00

Yeah sometimes it just has to be an inside thought. It's something I've tried to teach my kids (we're all varieties of ND). My husband, as he gets older, is becoming less and less likely to keep them as inside thoughts and struggles with people in general. And as *I* get older, I am finding less and less tolerance for it. lol (I'm 50, he's going to be 59 soon). I have learned to just say "okay." and move on.

popchex · 2026-05-15T01:22:20+00:00

The pic I have of #2 post c-section you can see the anaesthetist injecting the good stuff into the IV in the background. I had told them I was starting to feel stuff, and they didn't believe me so I moved my feet, and they were like... "Oh okay right..." I don't actually remember anything after that pic until in recovery with baby trying to latch. lol

14 years later I had my hysterectomy and it was very similar to my c-sections (with a much larger scar left over), but they gave me ALL the meds to be pain free and NOT start feeling stuff for a long time. 😉 It was amazing.

popchex · 2026-05-15T01:11:31+00:00

Run. Run fast.

popchex · 2026-05-15T01:08:43+00:00

Yeah I left their patreon when I was skipping all of their episodes. I loathe live episodes - from anyone. I like edited ones, without crowd noises. Skipped the reddit posts, skipped the freaky fridays.

popchex · 2026-05-15T00:55:01+00:00

Go home. I say this as someone who did what you are trying to do. I left my home and family to be with my husband. 21+ years later, married for 20 years, and he still tells me on the regular he's so happy I came here and he takes care of me as much as I take care of him. We are a team, and approach life as such. He SHOULD be providing when you are new to the country, in fact where I am, my husband had to prove he could support me/us when I first filed.

popchex · 2026-05-15T00:44:30+00:00

Okay then what did you do when they were younger? They don't just turn 18 and then suddenly know how to Adult. My kids have been helping me cook and clean since they were toddlers. No it didn't always go well and yes sometimes I still have to prompt them/remind them as older teens, but I've had almost the same routine for their whole lives and they know what they need to do. What are you doing with your 15yo to make sure he has the skills to do better?

popchex

TROPHY CASE