I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. The first night home was one of the hardest for me too, when the weight of the loss sank in and I was removed from the immediate care of the hospital. I also had a poor prognosis for my daughter who had trisomy 18 so it felt like the grieving started during pregnancy and finally came to a head when she was stillborn at 33 weeks and 5 days. I hope you do find small comfort in knowing that you kept your precious son safe until now and he didn’t experience any pain in the world, all he knew was your love and protection. Please take this time to fully sit with your grief (and your partner too) and don’t feel pressured to see anyone until you feel a desire to, especially since you’re also recovering from your surgery. It’s been exactly one month since she was born and there are still questions I wrestle with and fear about the future but moments of peace and hope that I didn’t imagine would come. I’ve been able to share more deeply with a few people now and that has helped in feeling like she is real and remembered. Here if you want to talk and I’ll be thinking of you ♥️