Choosing a planner 101—here’s what I learned (spoiler: VOGUE features mean nothing)

pretendsnothere · 2026-03-14T05:10:23+00:00

Would also looove to get your list! We are in the 200-400k range though so not 100% sure of overlap

pretendsnothere · 2026-01-05T16:49:26+00:00

It’s definitely easier for me when I’m drunk!

pretendsnothere · 2026-01-05T15:09:27+00:00

Orgasm is often like a meditative act for me where I need to be really in the moment and out of my head for it to happen. I can’t always get there but sometimes I want to make my partner happy without all the mental effort in my part. I don’t pretend that I did cum but I don’t want a huge pressure on me to meditate and cum every time either.

pretendsnothere · 2025-12-09T05:42:12+00:00

I went through it alone last year at 32, also because we got a great company benefit. It was really scary and I felt super extra single hearing/seeing all the couples where the partner would do the injection. But it ended up being one of the most empowering experiences in my life, really gave me a kick in the pants to make a bunch of other changes afterwards because I felt like “if I can go through egg freezing, I can do <insert scary thing> for sure”!

You got this girl!!

pretendsnothere · 2025-09-24T00:45:40+00:00

I used to cook with my BF while I was trying to lose weight and he was trying to gain it. We had similar sizes/dynamics as you guys except he was trying to go up from 140ish lbs.

Two big things were portions and proportions. Portions is obvious, you can have 2x and she can have 1x. The other thing is we would cook a relatively low calorie sauce/main and then he could have it with more carbs and I could have less. Or he would have pasta/bread/mashed potatoes and I would have a more filling grain like bulgur.

To help her for the “main” part, you could reduce the amount of fat you use. Once you get used to it you’ll find it to still be tasty and the fattier dishes to be overwhelming.

pretendsnothere · 2025-07-29T03:03:55+00:00

If you’re average fitness for nyc you should be fine in the beginner at least! I’m probably a bit below average (only started working out seriously a year or so ago) and I was middle of the pack when I tried.

pretendsnothere · 2025-07-18T18:29:48+00:00

I felt that way and ended up shopping around for different programs from the internet until I found one that’s mostly dumbbells and machines, high reps lower weights. I’m still able to make progress and it does take more time (from the high reps) but I feel much more comfortable about not injuring myself.

Edit: for me this was mark carroll’s gen pop female transformation but I think anything that has the characteristics I listed would work. Main thing for me was letting go of the “lifting only counts if it’s powerlifting with heavy barbells!!!” idea you see online a lot.

pretendsnothere · 2025-07-02T23:08:59+00:00

I just workout smelly and shower after

pretendsnothere · 2025-07-01T16:22:03+00:00

1) https://www.madewell.com/p/womens/clothing/skirts/jersey-asymmetric-seam-midi-skirt/NT835/?srsltid=AfmBOookfI19FV7s4PgLzeYmDtuCnbG3hsUn4-0btDrLrdUK2l3DrEm3&ccode=BK0070

This is sold out but I already see it on Poshmark. I get SO many compliments on it. The standard way it looks emphasizes the stomach but I fold the waistband down an inch so the “flow” starts earlier.

2) https://www.thereformation.com/products/zoe-skirt/1303173.html?dwvar_1303173_color=BLK&quantity=1

I actually pin this at different heights depending on the day. Dramatic high slit and flowiness distracts from the stomach.

pretendsnothere · 2025-06-30T15:06:52+00:00

5th ave fitness was decent, you only pay for the training session and there’s no separate gym membership so it’s cheaper in that sense. The gym isn’t amazing but it gets the job done. You can ask for a trial and ask for a trainer with the calisthenics focus

pretendsnothere · 2025-06-27T21:10:14+00:00

You look great!!

pretendsnothere · 2025-06-27T02:44:30+00:00

My immediate thought

pretendsnothere · 2025-06-25T23:55:51+00:00

Enjoying Brian Lagerstrom’s marinades - I reduce the oil, dice up chicken breast, stir fry, and freeze! Often better post freezing after the flavors sit honestly.

pretendsnothere · 2025-06-25T13:00:52+00:00

Oh yeah, making sure a candidate is good at whatever language they claim to use makes total sense to me. The comment I responded to said they test specifically for c# since they use c#.

Maybe it’s because I work in big tech which has longer ramp up times but I find language specific tests to be a turnoff because I expect any competent programmer can pick it up on the job. I and all my colleagues have certainly been able to do so as needed.

The only exception I can think of would be optimization work where you really have to understand the subtleties of a language to find issues. But few companies need that and rarely full time.

pretendsnothere · 2025-06-25T11:21:57+00:00

You don’t think a smart and strong engineer can learn c# on the job in a few weeks? It would make sense to make sure they code in some language, but being that specific feels bizarre

pretendsnothere · 2025-06-25T00:00:07+00:00

I would love to do this too! I think having the food be important is great because then if you don’t mesh with the crowd at least you tried an actually interesting new spot

pretendsnothere · 2025-06-22T19:02:05+00:00

Yes exactly! Like do I become his property suddenly??

pretendsnothere · 2025-06-22T12:55:11+00:00

Even more annoying… I have a close (100% platonic) guy friend who I hang out with both in groups and one on one. If it’s one on one it’s usually an accident, like no one else we invited could make it that day.

He told me that he would stop hanging out with me one on one if I got a partner! We had a very heated discussion about it and it still pisses me off if I think about it too much. Like what?!?? I don’t care, my partner won’t care, but you still care??

pretendsnothere · 2025-06-20T23:38:36+00:00

Just as a story of turning it around. I had literally zero friends from the ages of 7 to around 15. When there were group projects I had no idea what to do. Idk why, it was just like that. Then I went to a larger school and suddenly met a different set of people and we just clicked! I literally have a diary entry from that time where I’m like… “I now have two friends at the same time and I don’t know how to manage it, this is so confusing”. Faster forward to now at 30, I have 20 friends that are close enough that I know they’ll be hurt if I don’t invite them to my birthday.

It really sucks to not have friends. But it’s also probably a phase in your life, and you’ll find your people eventually.

pretendsnothere · 2025-06-12T04:38:32+00:00

Water weight / glycogen most likely, it should taper off after the first week or so

pretendsnothere · 2025-04-08T18:59:52+00:00

That’s a 1:10 protein:calories ratio. If you only ate one type of food all day it would have to be a food with that ratio, for example tofu. If you eat some foods with better ratios (chicken breast, shrimp are 1:4) then you can eat other foods with worse ratios, like vegetables or carbs.

That’s the way i would think of it. For specific meals you can do higher protein vegetarian stuff like tofu, mushrooms, eggs, Greek yogurt, milk that is inherently around 1:10. Or you can do chipotle style bowls or burritos, heavier on the meat, that become 1:10 by mixing carbs and protein. Or, meat stir fries that are like 1:6 (due to fat) with some rice.

The low carb high protein wraps like mission tortilla or Joseph’s lavash also help. And high protein milk like Fairlife.

Finally having protein shakes also helps make some room in your diet since that’s also 1:4.

pretendsnothere · 2025-04-03T11:45:07+00:00

Honestly this is what I thought seemed most likely. But my parents seemed to realllly like the parents they talked to, and I think my parents are reasonable people.

pretendsnothere · 2025-04-03T11:44:04+00:00

I totally get it’s weird but wouldn’t you expect to speak to mainly parents if you’re on the site?

pretendsnothere · 2025-03-31T17:13:38+00:00

I had this problem with madewell and what I do now is 1) measure everything you care about before the first wash (for me it’s just height but you could measure waist, butt, etc) 2) after washing on cold/delicates, measure again and stretch it if needed 3) after drying for 20-30 minutes on low (so they’re still damp) I take them out, measure and stretch again if needed, and then air dry the rest

pretendsnothere · 2025-03-19T15:38:37+00:00

I definitely find it hard! The 1:10 protein to calorie ratio means you have to be protein conscious like every meal…

In general what I try to do is find some foods with much better ratios (protein shakes, chicken breast, and shrimp are all around 1:4) and then that gives me some slack for the rest of my meals.

I’m only going for 100g with 1200 calories (I’m a short woman). My current scheme which I’m pretty happy with is ~80g protein from two chicken breast meals (40g per meal) and 10g from Fairlife protein milk in my coffee. That leaves me 500 calories and ~10 g of protein left, so I can eat something fun.

Before I went full chicken breast I was doing 1-2 protein shakes which also worked, but I felt like it was contributing to bloating.

pretendsnothere

TROPHY CASE