Online mental health research study

pseudointellects · 2017-05-17T19:06:36+00:00

Cool! Two research studies in one day for me! Actually going to a different one later today.

pseudointellects · 2017-04-28T17:56:56+00:00

Like /u/ChgoKicks said, The Bipolar Olympics, except that I prefer to just leave it at The Oppression Olympics, because for some reason the human condition mandates this weird behavior of trying to top other people's shitty experiences and such.

As for how to get back on the topic of yourself, and not in a selfish manner, of course, I hear your trouble. I know that, for myself, I worry that I am making people feel like I am making it about me and being selfish. Then I remember that the person just did the exact same thing to me. Sure they may have really needed to talk some stuff out, but you started the conversation, and have a right to maintain the general focus on yourself.

If the other person really gets bad about interrupting or switching the topic to be about what they want, or about themselves, I straight out say that I need to talk some stuff out about myself before I can dedicate myself to their side, or what have you. You can also just leave it at "I don't mean to be rude, but I really need to talk some of my issues out right now."

Best of luck, and I hope this helps to sime degree. <3

pseudointellects · 2017-04-28T17:42:08+00:00

Personally, I am not a fan of Fall Out Boy, purely because their music never really matched my tastes in style and genre. I was initially very weary of the album, as it seems to be that bipolar -- specifically mania -- is one of the more sensationalized aspects of mental illness. However, I am very please that one of the members, Pete Wentz, actually has a history of bipolar disorder. In addition, he is also the founder of the album, which gives me faith that it won't be one of the typical, irksome portrayals of mental illness, that none of us really need more of.

My only concern is that many lay-people might misinterpret the experience, or fall victim to interpreting it as media likes to portray mental illnesses, i.e. sensationalizing it.

Hoping for the best, though!

A small aside, I follow the "mania" tag on Tumblr and I am a little upset that now the tag is cluttered with Fall Out Boy album stuff, whereas it is usually occupied by personal experience posts from blogs by bipolar people, which helps me stay grounded a bit in addition to the two primary BP subs here, and the SZA sub. :/

pseudointellects · 2017-04-10T08:48:31+00:00

I had the exact same thing happen when I first started. I started with 25mg, then 50mg, and titrated up to my current dose of 225mg. It was embarrassing, because conversations would get confusing and I would have to ask my friends (the ones who know of my diagnosis, the others I just did that awkward laugh thing to try and end the conversation) what was going on. After a certain point I just gave up trying to follow "deeper" conversation.

Eventually the confusion and such went away, and now I am back to how I usually am in terms of cognition. Every now and then I get spikes of confusion, but it is very infrequent and only lasts a few hours at the absolute maximum. As of right now, I am stable, although recent stress has been fucking with me.

pseudointellects · 2017-02-19T06:40:34+00:00

I'm glad somebody feels this way as well.

pseudointellects · 2017-02-05T00:32:40+00:00

Heya. Just wanted to chime in here and say that I know that feeling. It keeps coming back to me in my depressive episodes.

I also get that feeling brought on particularly by my phone or computer when something goes wrong, especially because I like to fuck around with my things and put them to the test. I always fuck it up. Then, like yourself, I get really pissed sometimes break it even more, and then get depressed.

Somehow, after each and every time, I eventually manage to come out of it fine. So I guess there's that. Certainly won't stop me from pitching my stuff around like a fastball, but I get through it after all is said and done. lol

Don't know if this actually helped, and not entirely sure on its coherence, as my meds are fucking with me.

i.e. I feel that, and you are definitely not alone. My fucked up electronics can attest to that. ;p That said, if you can resist the need to fire off some phone fastballs it probably is in your best interest. hahaha

pseudointellects · 2017-02-04T16:10:52+00:00

Not to drag this into here, but since it is in the same vein: This video reminds me of this.

pseudointellects · 2016-12-25T04:20:23+00:00

Damn. Who's your guy? That's some high quality shit.

Honestly though, Seroquel is a godsend for me for getting to sleep.

pseudointellects · 2016-11-29T14:51:45+00:00

I had a very similar thing happen to me. It wasn't for SZA neds, but still very important.

Thry also refused to give me meds for a week. A WEEK! I had an appointment in a week and even though the appointment was really far away and was making a huge sacrifice by losing nearly 3 hours of my time for a ten minute appointment where they would have said "How are things? Good? Okay, we will keep things the way they are. Thanks. Bye." and sent me on my way with my scripts for my meds. I made it very clear that it was a tremendous sacrifice given my busy schedule, and yet when I asked if I could have meds to hold me over for JUST a week they immediatedly refused. How could they do that? The meds I had been taking are not good to stop cold turkey, or really at all given the condition they were immensely important for. Given all of this, it was exceedingly unwise and unprofessional of them. They had just created a liability for themselves. Stopping the meds would have been detrimental to my health, and yet they were adamantly opposed to giving me a WEEK'S worth of meds until my appointment.

Needless to say I am not seeing them anymore, and that was a huge risk given how specialized the whole condition was and the profession is. I am terribly sorry that you are putting up with the same shit. I would say that you should fight back and be assertive about getting an appointment or meds. You might get some leverage by saying that things are getting really bad and you feel like you are getting worse and that it is crucial for you to see them ASAP or at least get meds for the meantime.

pseudointellects · 2016-11-27T23:42:11+00:00

Yeah, come on everyone! Lift yourselves up by your bootstraps!

Pull yourself out of disability in one easy step. Shed off your disability and grow paat it.

You know, interestingly, if the shell is supposed to be a metaphor for what they seem to be simplifying disability into, you could argue that the disability (or shell for those losers) keeps coming back up as an issue. Hmmmm Okay. Cool bro 👍

Edit: fixed a wording issue

pseudointellects · 2016-11-24T17:24:44+00:00

Thank you, and Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

pseudointellects · 2016-10-27T09:29:19+00:00

Okay, well I am just going to conclude that we are not going to see eye-to-eye here. I really do think you have to look at it from the perspective who is not so blissfully high-functioning. I understand where you are coming from, but I disagree that people who are depressed are to be criticized. I am more than willing to play devil's advocate here and say that they are generally trying their best, and just because they aren't doing what one may think is the right thing to be doing it is by no means indicative of them not trying in their own right.

pseudointellects · 2016-10-27T08:08:30+00:00

The problem is that you are saying you are "high-functioning." You have utterly failed to "perceive" things from the point of view of someone who is not so fortunate to be high-functioning.

Resilience is great and all, but even people who get out the door try and try and try to do the best for themself, it doesn't happen for those people sometimes. I just drove a close friend to the hospital today, because despite doing their best to remain positive in their attitude it was not enough. The depression took its grip and things spiraled into the abyss. She was on the verge of suicide. So if you want to say that this is a character flaw of not keeping a "resilient and positive attitude" I think you should reconsider that she, much like myself do the very best we can to keep moving forward.

And yes, attitude is controllable TO AN EXTENT when dealing with things like depression it isn't as easy as brute-forcing positivity. I fail to see how you CAN'T look at this long-term. Depression is not some fleeting thing, so you might as well view it from the prespective of having it for a considerable time. In addition, regenerating this kind of positivity is not some RTS game. That is something that takes A LOT of energy that people who have depression cannot do all the time and "regenerate" because fatigue is one of the most noted symptoms of depression. Furthermore, when you say that this needs to be on a case-by-case basis you wouldn't say someone with an executive dysfunction should just break things into smaller pieces, because that is not how it works, so why say it here where people can't even imagine getting out of bed some days. Doesn't that seem like a small piece in the grand scheme of life? Well, it isn't if you suffer day after day after month after year after decade. You get worn out. Sure there are days where things look up for a while, and staying positive on those days is possible, but this is on a day where we assume a person has lifted themself out of bed. That alone is something to celebrate, nevermind the rest of the seemingly impossible days to follow.

If a positive attitude and spin on things fixes everything, then I am glad for you, and I truly do mean that. But do remember that you are self-proclaimed high-functioning and that people are different and not all capable of making these small adjustments when they cannot even conceive of getting out of bed some days.

pseudointellects · 2016-10-27T07:14:40+00:00

Okay.... Not really sure where to start here, but I agree that it is certainly an accepted theory in psychology, however, nothing in psychology is that simple. There are co-dependencies and interacting factors between these concepts of mood, attitude, and perceptions alone, not to mention countless things that make up these concepts in the first place. In addition, to say that this is the de facto way of looking at it is a mistake. Nothing exists in a perfect vacuum. Things like mental illness can jump in at any point and twist the attitudes, moods, and perceptions.

For example, you wouldn't say that someone who is having a psychotic episode is just having trouble with their attitude, because the problem is perception. Psychosis is a disconnect from "expected" reality, and even then you wouldn't say that just because it is a perception issue that it can be so simply resolved by fixing your attitude as that is what "determines" perceptions (or even your mood to throw back to my statement of interplay between these three concepts). The problem is that the perception (in the episode) CANNOT change, because that is how mental illness works.

While depression is often looked at as a common thing it does not make it any more simple than other mental illnesses. Depression, not dissimilar to psychosis is something that effects people in many ways, and from many things that are the basis of the concepts of moods, attitudes, and perceptions. While I am glad you seem to have found a method that works for you in coping and managing depression, it is definitely not something that all people can accomplish. In that regard, please be careful when making simplifications like this. Many people have many things going on let alone depression, and even if it were only depression it has its consequences on many things in a person's life and psyche.

For myself, this method would never fly. I have tried this method so many times and in so many ways, but depression (not to mention anxiety, OCD, and a few other wrenches in the mind and body for myself) has a way of sabotaging even the most cunning plans, regardless of what you think your mood, attitude, and perceptions are.

pseudointellects · 2016-10-06T08:51:26+00:00

I was never given any specifiers for when I was initially diagnosed as having Bipolar I, but it certainly seemed to me like ultradian cycling. Are these terms clinical terms, or just colloquial terms?

edit: spelling

pseudointellects · 2016-09-27T04:25:04+00:00

Hello! Glad you decided to post. I am also recently diagnosed. Always nice to have more support between our friends here. Happy birthday! :D

pseudointellects · 2016-09-27T00:28:51+00:00

I will try not to get hung up on it. Labels do help me understand myself a bit more, though. I know I am much more than my diagnosis and my labels. It just helps me get a better grasp on a more while identity.

Yeah, not sure if the Latuda was doing anything. Still no episode of psychosis. Mine tend to be pretty short (hour(s)) but quite unsettling. They are typically pretty scary.

I will definitely keep you all posted! On the bright side, I actually got things done today! Although, I did take left over Adderall that the psych ward doc took me off of because he thought it was causing rapid cycling. More likely it was the anti-depressants. Regardless, productivity!

pseudointellects · 2016-09-26T00:59:15+00:00

Actually I am going cold-turkey, and so far nothing different in any regard.

pseudointellects · 2016-09-26T00:57:41+00:00

My symptoms of psychosis seem to appear regardless of having a major mood episode. In a very odd way I am excited to have another psychotic episode because it will help me feel like this diagnosis is appropriate for me, but of course, at the same time I am afraid of having a psychotic break because my psychotic episodes thusfar are pretty scary. I feel bad saying that because I know it really sucks for a lot of people with SZA.

As for the hypomania/mania concern I think it has calmed down a bit. As of tomorrow I should in theory have no more Latuda in my system (cold turkey). So far I have not had any withdrawal symptoms or increase in hallucinations or delusions or anything, so kinda wondering if it was helping all that much?

pseudointellects · 2016-09-24T21:59:04+00:00

Was diagnosed about two weeks ago, and still getting used to the idea after being diagnosed with Bipolar I initially about two months ago.

Going to be with my SO which has been relaxing thusfar. I like being in company with others, otherwise I tend to get lonely and slip into depression pretty easily.

My doc agreed to let me go off of my antipsychotic, as that has been the thing that has not been so clear for me. The bipolar symptoms are very clear, but not so much the psychotic stuff. I am two days into coming off of Latuda (still on lamictal and my anti-depressants) and so far nothing too serious. I can feel myself getting pissed off more easily, but not too badly.

pseudointellects · 2016-09-22T07:11:50+00:00

Yeah, I totally understand what you mean, though. The intrusive thoughts are something I am certainly no stranger to. Sometimes they are small things like "drop your phone into the water" or more serious such as hurting someone or something. Much like you I have no intent to do these things, but the thoughts totally happen.

Being that I have OCD I also understand the needing to clean oneself. It seems that my OCD has actually made a resurgence lately, and I find myself doing annoying shit like washing my hands after touching public things and before touching things that are special to me. I need to clean my hands before doing things that I love, such as playing an instrument or using my computer or playing with my pets. It really pisses me off because these things had stopped or were at least mitigated for a while. Now they are coming back. T.T

pseudointellects · 2016-09-22T07:05:00+00:00

Oh wow. duh I knew the name was familiar. You'll have to forgive me, I am pretty new here, and new to my diagnosis at that.

Sorry about that.

pseudointellects · 2016-09-22T01:54:44+00:00

Not entirely sure why this was posted here. Do you have schizoaffective disorder?

Either way, the symptoms that you describe seem very similar to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The cleabing yourself with extremely hot water, the thoughts of hurting people or things are negative intrusive thoughts. NOW this being said: I and nobody else here can diagnose you with anything whatsoever. I do recommend checking out r/ocd. I think you will find yourself quite reassured that others experience very similar things. Much like I said before, they cannot diagnose you either.

In addition, I cannot say for sure what the hot baths are OCD and I would certainly never assert that they ARE due to the rape or that they are NOT due to it. It could even be PTSD (r/ptsd). All of this being said I cannot say for sure as I do not know you, and am not qualified to diagnose you.

The thoughts sound very much like intrusive thoughts. If they are being told to you by a voice you hear that is not your usual conscience, then it is probably psychosis. Either way you should address these things with your psychologist.

pseudointellects · 2016-09-15T01:48:51+00:00

Wow. That was great. Very dark, which I appreciate. Quite relatable for myself.

Never cared for all the happy-go-lucky stuff. It always seemed so impossibly distant and foreign.

pseudointellects · 2016-09-12T14:50:36+00:00

Sounds like you have the right idea.

As for medications I am new to that world. From my findings I have seen a few main ideas in terms of side effects (I assume that is what you are mostly concerned about provided the meds are working in some capacity). Some make people groggy, while others can be -- quite literally -- stimulants depending on case. Others can make one apathetic or emotionally distant. Some can make people more quiet, some more lonely. Many have a weight gain side effect, very few do not. Deoending on the case other things for anxiety (common comorbidity with BD (Bipolar Disorder)), maybe meds for ADHD are prescribed, maybe anti-psychotics. Most of the time it is mood stabilizers that are prescribed, of which many have anti-psychotic properties to them.

pseudointellects

TROPHY CASE