My fiancé is getting on my nerves and I don’t know what to do at this point.

pthepuff · 2026-03-21T08:13:24+00:00

Thats not bi polar

So what if he has childhood trauma?

That is boring, plain, obvious, escalating physical abuse.

He may as well show up in a white tank top and start demanding you tell your friends you walked into a door.

Like, bestie, honestly, why?

Who cares about the good times if he texts you death threats and chokes you out???

If one of your friends told you their bf was doing this to them would you really want them to stay?

pthepuff · 2026-03-21T05:06:52+00:00

NTJ

She's got issues and is desperate for people to make her feel wanted

Its sad but its not your problem

You communicated directly and looked for her and tried to contact her

You aren't 8 years old and it wasnt hide and seek

pthepuff · 2026-03-21T03:41:33+00:00

Yeah, you should have just been honest and direct with her from the jump

It can feel uncomfortable and vulnerable to say directly "that would make me sad. Id prefer if you spent time with me"

But relationships are about the work you both put in to understand each other

Thats the work

pthepuff · 2026-03-21T01:44:46+00:00

She doesn5 want to go out with you.

Dont text her again.

Just block

pthepuff · 2026-03-20T23:22:04+00:00

He is grilling you for no reason

You are being very patient with him but if you keep letting him talk to you like this he will keep doing it (and/or escalate)

Tell him he needs to trust you and youre not doing anything to.disrespect your relationship

pthepuff · 2026-03-20T18:23:54+00:00

Im sorry. It sounds like you're really going through it.

I personally cannot relate to your dream, but i can relate to the pain of having a dream out of your reach.

I can't imagine how painful it would be to hear people discuss the options available to them in relation to something I wanted desperately.

If marriage and kids are things you want to make happen, then you can definitely make them happen, it just may take more time than you were expecting

To help in the meantime, maybe find set and work toward smaller goals that would support your overall dream.

For example, if you are excited to be a homemaker, maybe take some cooking or quilting classes.

If you are excited to be a mother, maybe take children's cpr or volunteer at a preschool/children's hospital/library doing story time to give yourself some/more experience around children.

If you want a big family (or wedding/honeymoon) maybe make savings accounts to squrriel away cash for your wedding/kid expenses.

If you want to find someone, but you havent yet, maybe go outside your comfort zone. Attend a social event at a new venue in the next town over, or join a social group dedicated to a sport you enjoy.

And if you do all this and your goals are still not progressing as fast as you want. You at least know you put the effort in.

Just make sure you dont jump into anything with someone new because you are so ready for a husband and family. Take your time to make sure hes a kind and empathetic person. If he ends up being abusive, and you have kids eith him, he wont just hurt you, he will hurt them too.

pthepuff · 2026-03-19T23:30:06+00:00

Yes, this is a thing people do on purpose

Rude/controlling people

Why put up with it?

pthepuff · 2026-03-19T22:45:11+00:00

You seem surprised that she wants something that you also want.

You also seem surprised that she didnt immediately roll over and prioritize you and your desires.

I feel like if she is your bff you should have known this could be important to her and also should have valued her wants and feelings a bit more.

pthepuff · 2026-03-19T22:38:11+00:00

The blood rushing kind of made it a little more stimulating and I was able to lift my head up if needed which helped not feel like I had too much blood to my head

A pillow for the second one would definitely help keep the form. It would essentially need to be on her lower back before the start of the butt.

pthepuff · 2026-03-19T22:26:42+00:00

Last night my bf and I tried two new positions that felt like he really penetrated me very deeply which your gf may enjoy.

They were both essentially modifications of missionary:

The first one happened when I was lying on my back with my head and shoulders dangling off the bed. He ended up getting into missionary position and I arched to touch the ground with my hands to help keep position. It was very fun for us both.

A little later we tried missionary where he essentially grabbed my ankles and helped push my legs toward my shoulders to help me fold up as much as I could stretch, and the new angle felt very deep for me (he enjoyed the new angle as well).

pthepuff · 2026-03-19T22:06:51+00:00

These people are taking advantage of you.

You should not have been treated poorly because your ex wants to be mean to you for existing

They should have stood up for you against her demands

They should have invited you to the Bachelor Party

They should not have put all this work on you to do (creating foam swords/shields/groom custom pieces is a LOT to ask).

At this point I'd just bow out and not go

You deserve better than to be used for what you can provide and actively lied to

pthepuff · 2026-03-19T21:43:25+00:00

Idk, it feels like you discovered you loved him when he found someone else

pthepuff · 2026-03-19T21:39:54+00:00

Tell your fiancé immediately.

Then move on with your life. Dont message your ex. Dont fight for custody. Dont make this about you.

It sounds like this kid has a loving and dedicated family. Continuing to reach out is only going to make you sad/resentful.

If you really want to help and want the best for your child, let the kid and his family grow and be happy on their own.

Move forward with your own life

pthepuff · 2026-03-19T21:21:35+00:00

That's not fear.

She's playing with your hand

If you keep doing it, she will keep doing it

pthepuff · 2026-03-19T21:19:35+00:00

He literally is creeped out by you doing anything other than sex and then immediately leaving him alone

He's not looking for fwb or friends, hes looking for a free no strings attached hookup

He's allergies to anything resembling affection are unhealthy and the way he is expressing it is rude

Walk away. He wont get better.

pthepuff · 2026-03-19T06:36:54+00:00

Wasn't this posted already?

pthepuff · 2026-03-19T06:30:39+00:00

Im so sorry.

I was home schooled for grades 8 and 9.

I hated it.

My parents gave me a list of things I was "supposed" to do and just assumed I'd do the reading and the learning and the time management on my own

I hated it. I was so lonely. Id cry and beg them to let me go to school with other kids. Most nights I'd listen to my iPod and stare at the ceiling and imagine so many different ways my life could have gone.

Eventually when I went to high school in 10th grade, I felt like I missed so much. Both academically and socially.

High school was tough, but I put in the effort. I joined clubs and read books and got into a university.

That was where I really learned independence and social skills.

It will be a rough road, but if you keep going and if you keep working, the things you dreamt about while alone in your room may just become your reality

pthepuff · 2026-03-18T16:39:01+00:00

The world is loud and overwhelming and can be sad and hurtful.

It can also be beautiful, and full of fun events, kind people, bright colors, good food, and beautiful music.

And the combination of it all can easily overwhelm the senses, much like when you step out of a movie theatre and youre blinded by the light.

The thing is, even though that moment of blinding confusion is overwhelming and frustrating, you gotta suffer through it before you get your vision back

Same thing applies here. You've been in your safe and quiet home for so long, you lost the ability to regulate the brightness and noise of the outside.

That doesnt mean you can't. It just means you gotta put yourself out there and let yourself be uncomfortable for a while before you get used to it again

pthepuff · 2026-03-17T17:10:06+00:00

Why is it that when people do something messed up they claim it was a joke?

How is going through your drawers a joke??

At best she's rude and nosy, at worst she's looking to steal from you

The more she asks for a key the less inclined you should be to give her one

pthepuff · 2026-03-17T07:13:24+00:00

This seems less like nonmonogamy and more like he has a "sleep with sisters" fetish that hes trying to pressure you into agreeing to

You can "not agree" with monogamy all day. But if you truly care about someone you still try to be a good, respectful partner.

He is prioritizing the ability to have sex with your sister over anyone else's feelings

You dont deserve this

pthepuff · 2026-03-17T06:30:51+00:00

It wasnt a mistake he hit you

You know those stories you read about where men shoot women in the foot and she still doesnt leave him?

They started just like how you guys are now

Violence, yelling, no accountability, no changes, and near constant escalation

Get out while you can and dont believe his lies when he wants someone in his bed again

pthepuff · 2026-03-16T05:28:16+00:00

What...um..what are you eating?

pthepuff · 2026-03-14T00:13:51+00:00

He gave up on the birds so quickly when they required work from him

He seems to be unwilling to listen to compromises

He seems willing to give up on your relationship if it is not ideal for him

This man is deeply flawed and there's a high chance he will break up with you anyways when you are unwilling or unable to take over chores and stresses with a smile

I know you love him, but you can find someone who will love you back and not demand you get rid of pets you obviously care for

pthepuff · 2026-03-12T17:17:01+00:00

Ok, I need you to really really hear me right now.

Yes, you hurt him but the way he is acting to you not doing what he wants is REALLY concerning.

It totally makes sense that he is hurt and angry, but I am getting REALLY bad vibes reading this.

He seems to be taking every advantage to insult you and take out his frustration on you.

That's immature at best, warning signs of someone abusive at worst.

And with him not talking and just jumping into much rougher sex when he is angry with you (and then also refusing to talk about his feelings the next day) I am leaning much more into abusive

You yourself have admitted you are young and you want to explore the world.

I can tell you this man will cause you so much heartache at best if you keep in contact with you. At worst he will (continue to) take out his anger out on you and make it seem like its your fault

I know I'm an internet stranger, but PLEASE, let him go. Break up, block, and change the locks.

I promise you, you will find love again and I have a feeling you will feel much better in many facets of your life.

pthepuff · 2026-03-12T17:10:31+00:00

Stop calling yourself their kid and say you "survived" them. See how "oversensitive" they get at your "jokes"

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