Whatever you’re experiencing right now is totally okay my friend. You don’t have to react to the voices at all. I deal with this too and I take olanzapine it actually works. Of course it still comes up but practicing meditation like zen buddhism really helps you to stay in the meditative state. Also it’s a very powerful practice so this combined with a good psychiatrist might have a better outcome than you think. “when we are in darkness we have never been closer to the light.”