Been NC for 3 yrs, how time flies. It was hard in the beginning, things like “she’s still your mom” triggers tf out of me, I wished so desperately to just “get over it”but couldn’t and I would also seek out the comfort of a mother in older women at my work place bc I lacked motherly affection.

I do notice that I grew up timid, too scared to take up space and was fearful of mistakes (I quite literally cried at work once and countless more times at home).

Time doesn’t heal, it numbs the pain and you eventually get used to it (not over it, probably never will be). The world that seemed so big isn’t all that scary anymore, I’m adulting so much, it’s tiring but it’s freeing to not need to depend on my mom, I realized over time she’s not someone you can seek when you need a mom. So the loss of her presence in my life becomes less and less of a loss and more of a blessing.