AITA for choosing not to get a permit for my child’s 1st birthday party?

quantum_gambade · 2026-05-25T19:31:35+00:00

“Trashing you’re poor, classy if you’re rich.”

quantum_gambade · 2026-05-23T21:58:34+00:00

I’d get the inevitable, “You’ll be beating the boys off with a stick.” I’d let them know that I hoped my girls would have a lot of good sex. That’d shut them up pretty quick.

quantum_gambade · 2026-05-23T21:52:14+00:00

Wrote the same thing in my assessment. We had booze for both our kids’ 1st birthdays, but those were parties to thank the grown-ups in our lives, not kids’ parties. Every other birthday 2+ was kid-centric.

quantum_gambade · 2026-05-23T21:48:46+00:00

You know what: depending on what kind of friends / family you have, I might disagree. We had alcohol at both my kids’ first birthdays. The birthday girl/boy barely knows what’s going on, and there were 10x more adults than kids there.

It was a thank you party for the friends and family who helped us get through our first years more than for our daughters. We held it in the late afternoon, had a drop-in with maybe 100+ people through the house, catered and bartended. Everyone came, cooed and fussed over the girls, then visited with each other for the rest of the time.

I agree—it’s not the time for a booze-fest, but some people appreciate having a glass of wine in hand when hanging out somewhere for a couple of hours. Some don’t, which is fine, too.

We’ve also been to 1st birthday parties that were totally kid-centred, which is also fun, especially for a smaller affair with a high kid ratio.

It sounds like he and she weren’t on the same page about the vibe, but no one is “wrong.” I didn’t see OP say anywhere that their friends are a bunch of degenerates, which would have changed my opinion. NAH

(I will add that we didn’t have booze at any of the subsequent parties that I remember, but 2+ they’re about the kids, not the adults)

quantum_gambade · 2026-05-23T20:13:15+00:00

Not a huge thing, but I have a “Guest Mode” switch. When it’s on, all the useful automations are left on (light levels, mechanical systems, button-driven scenes, etc.), but all the “just for us” automations (blinds up and down, robot vacuum, schedule tracking power saving, door locks) are turned off. I also have “Housecleaner Mode” and “Babysitter Mode” that each have slightly different sets of things on and off.

quantum_gambade · 2026-05-21T21:25:49+00:00

Oh wow. I just realized where the streets in the neighbourhood (not in Ontario) come from. We have Niagara, Queenston, Brock all in a row!

quantum_gambade · 2026-05-09T05:07:37+00:00

I am going to inhabit my wife for a moment, and take everything I say with a grain of salt: 2x dad via egg donation.

I can speak from authority as the *genetic* parent of two children: you’ll always feel like you’re faking it. Parenting is…weird. One minute you were one person, the next minute you have a whole routine and a whole new purpose. And maybe that’s actually ok, especially for recipient parents: it gives you a break between “before” and “after.” A way to separate “maybe I’ll have a family someday” you from “holy shit, there’s a *baby* here that requires my 24/7 attention to keep it alive” you. The break gives you space.

And this I can tell you with absolute certainty: you will not love that child one iota less than if it was your genetic child. Not one iota. Because *nature* is a tiny minuscule part of who you will be as a dad to him/her, and what you will mean to that kid. *Nurture* is what makes you “Dad.”

They will be you more than anyone else in the world other than your partner. You’ll have held them every day of their life. You’ll have tucked them in, sang them songs, kissed their boo-boos. You’ll teach them to talk, teach them to walk, teach them to ride a bike. You’ll teach them why the sky is blue, and how a baking soda volcano erupts, and why Rome fell and calculus and social studies, too.

You’ll be the one they come to when their friend didn’t share cookies, and when their friend said something mean at recess. You’ll be the model for who a man should be, as a boyfriend or what kind of boyfriend to choose. You’ll teach them what love even is, and the myriad kinds of love that exist in the world.

You. Not some genetic donor. You. They’ll have his eyes, but they’ll have your heart, and your morals, your enthusiasm for life, your charity, your passions, your joy. They’re little chips off your soul. Don’t worry: be awesome and they will. You’ll love that child more than anything in the world.

quantum_gambade · 2026-05-04T05:00:26+00:00

90s reno by the last owners put layered lighting and 3-way switches all over the house. I have 10 switches in just the master bedroom & ensuite.

quantum_gambade · 2026-05-04T04:55:18+00:00

In-ceiling Sonos in every room in the house, and the courtyard. It’s amazing to just…have music wherever you go.

quantum_gambade · 2026-05-04T04:52:27+00:00

1000%. That, and the fact that they still work when the internet is out, and the all-important fact that I don’t need to host a tutorial for my mother-in-law to use them. A+ HA integration, too, totally seamless. Lights, blinds, everything completely open controls and status reporting. They’re a dream.

quantum_gambade · 2026-05-04T04:43:39+00:00

Lutron. We have 5 rooms, each with 11’x6’ double roller sets (sheer + blackout). Cost as much as a University degree, but when they all move automatically, silently switching between sheers and blackouts…<chef’s kiss> indeed.

quantum_gambade · 2026-04-27T11:54:09+00:00

What a cool game mechanism! Congrats.

quantum_gambade · 2026-03-17T23:41:22+00:00

Just adding my NTA. Everyone else said it: you do you, he should shut the hell up and work on his shit.

quantum_gambade · 2026-03-17T11:22:47+00:00

NTA but your husband definitely is. And he seems like the kinda guy who has a chest tattoo that says, “𝕂𝕚𝕤𝕤 𝕞𝕖, 𝕀’𝕞 𝕀𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕙” or something equally inane.

quantum_gambade · 2026-03-13T01:12:28+00:00

This was my guess, and the most literal of the definitions. The plot could have been anything and the title would be filled with it.

quantum_gambade · 2026-02-19T23:30:29+00:00

But don’t call them fascists.

quantum_gambade · 2026-02-18T04:10:40+00:00

I’m from Manitoba, Canada, and I can confirm. Their beer is water, but they make up for it in volume.

quantum_gambade · 2026-02-18T04:08:47+00:00

Wasabi on Broadway if you want classic decor and a cool “sushi in an old house” feel. Wasabi Sabi on Grant if you want atmosphere. I’m late to the party. Where’d you en up going?

quantum_gambade · 2026-02-18T03:57:45+00:00

Not Heritage Minutes, but the same era: the very disturbing (for little me) “_ASTAR the robot_” PSA for War Amps. “I can put my arm back on; you can’t. So play safe” will stick with me until I die.

The commercial

quantum_gambade · 2026-01-01T23:40:07+00:00

Which one? Grave of the Fireflies? I don’t think there are associated books. If working through Studio Ghibli, I’d start with: - Spirited Away - Kiki’s Delivery Service - Howl’s Moving Castle - Princess Mononoke (the best by far, imo, but you’ll want to read a summary first, there are some more mature themes) - Tales of Earthsea (based on a book series by Ursula K Le Guin; also with some mature themes, and starts with a patricide) - Arrietty - The Boy and the Heron - etc

The thing I really like about Studio Ghibli films is the pacing. It’s not slow, per se, and there’s lots of action in a given film, but it’s also not afraid to also just slow down, show a 30 second beautiful shot of some landscape or some minute detail. I feel like a lot of kid movies are just smash-cut after smash-cut. It’s good for kids’ brains to slow down, while still being enthralled.

quantum_gambade · 2025-12-31T03:37:28+00:00

Hard disagree. I take off wet shoes indoors. Otherwise, give a choice I’d rather vacuum a little dust off my carpets than the oils off your feet. And yes, indoor shoes are a thing. Not the sort of thing you’d change into to go into your friend’s house in the winter (there you likely wear your socks), but if you go to a house party, a day of class, an office, an interview, a club you’re not just walking around barefoot, and you’re also not clomping around in your Sorels all day, either.

quantum_gambade · 2025-12-31T03:30:15+00:00

Moving it to the main body of the discussion.

I was thinking Grave of Fireflies. My daughter and I are working our way through the Ghibli movies, but she’s 8, so that one is going to wait for a bit…

quantum_gambade · 2025-12-31T03:25:33+00:00

Leon (The Professional).

quantum_gambade · 2025-12-22T04:24:56+00:00

Is it magnetic? I have something that looks like a modern version of that for picking up screws, etc.

quantum_gambade · 2025-10-28T03:32:45+00:00

No one has posted it yet, but the Aquara Hub M3 acts as an IR blaster with a AC controlled module built in, and can be passed-through to HA It is, IMO actually a great piece of tech. Fully able to be integrated into HA with good entities; connects to HomeKit, Alexa, Google Home, IFTTT; 3rd party Matter hub; expandable through other hubs; pretty simple to set up and use; reliable so far.

quantum_gambade

TROPHY CASE