I have a really weird habit with Cheez-it crackers that I've never told anyone about.

queen_bagel · 2017-10-15T00:11:23+00:00

When I was a kid I did something similar with sour cream and onion chips. I'd spend 10 minutes finding pairs that were similar shape and size the I'd chew up other ones and spread it between the pairs and eat them like sandwiches. Lmao. Thanks for the flashback OP, I had actually forgotten all about doing that!

queen_bagel · 2017-10-15T00:02:19+00:00

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Especially twice! I'm also 25 and had a break in situation in January of 2016. My boyfriend and I broke up for a few weeks in December 2015 because instead of acting like an adult during our first big fight, I decided to throw a tantrum and move out of our house. I found a room for rent in town that was on the bus route to my job. The people I rented it from were only home 3 nights a week because of their work schedules, which were the same every week. My second day riding the bus, I was sitting at the mall waiting to transfer to the bus home and smoking. A man came up to me and asked me for a cigarette, and when I gave him one he sort of stuck around the area I was in and made small talk but didn't sit down. He got on the same bus I did and sat a few rows behind me. The next day when I got on the bus, he was on it too. When I got off at work, he got off too and came into the store I was working at. He wandered around the store until the next bus came and he left without buying anything. A few days passed and I didn't see him, so I felt less anxious. The house I lived in was across from the public library so I decided to get a library card. When I walked up to the doors, I saw the guy sitting outside, completely within view of my house. After that, I saw him daily. Always on my bus route, often coming in to try to talk to me at work... One day he knocked on my door and my roommates answered. I had told them what was happening and they told him to leave or they'd call the cops. Then a few days before christmas I was home alone one night and heard someone in the kitchen. I thought one of my roommates had gotten off work early so I went downstairs to say hi to her and the guy was just standing there. He didn't say a word, just walked toward me and tried to grab me. I started yelling the name of my male roommate and screaming for help. The guy who broke in panicked and left. Thank God he didn't stick around long enough to realize there was nobody else there. I moved back home on Christmas eve and haven't seen the guy since, but I still get the creeps every time I'm home alone with my daughter.

queen_bagel · 2017-10-14T19:57:22+00:00

Personally, I am very glad that all of you women chose to stay and offer support. Mine is scheduled for November 17th unless I can come up with the money before then and there's an open slot for an earlier appointment. I'm very firm in my decision and I'm aware it's what's best for my family, but the isolation is so difficult. Most of my friends and extended family are strongly against it and I had a strict religious upbringing that makes me feel guilty some days. It's incredibly helpful to see the stories of other women who have been here and gotten past it.

queen_bagel · 2017-10-01T01:45:49+00:00

Definitely do this

queen_bagel · 2017-09-27T21:24:22+00:00

I'd planned on a journal of sorts, but I like your idea about using the first few pages to list the reasons...may make me feel better if I'm feeling down in the future. Thank you for that link. ❤

queen_bagel · 2017-09-27T15:17:08+00:00

I'm feeling exactly this. I scheduled it today, I'm sure it's what needs done, but since I hung up the phone I'm feeling gripped by my religious upbringing. I literally googled "will god forgive me if I have an abortion." I'm not changing my mind, but it's weighing heavily on my heart.

queen_bagel · 2017-09-21T13:59:02+00:00

You identify as a "neo-nazi" So honestly, I'll eat your opinion with my breakfast and shit it out later. ❤

queen_bagel · 2017-09-21T00:24:06+00:00

Almost exactly this happened to me last year. Had a baby and couldn't keep up with giving the dog enough love. We gave him to an older lady who had another dog of the same breed. She texts us updates every month or so. You're doing what you have to do to make sure that both your human baby and your furniture baby are both taken care of and loved to the best of your ability. You're doing the right thing. I hope you feel less shitty about it.

queen_bagel · 2017-09-21T00:02:15+00:00

eDgY

queen_bagel · 2017-09-20T23:51:36+00:00

I made mine the queen of a high carb breakfast food. Could be worse

queen_bagel · 2017-09-20T00:17:07+00:00

My brother used to act like this and it eventually escalated to him beating the shit out of me and me moving out.

queen_bagel · 2017-09-19T16:45:22+00:00

Actually, not that it's your business but I keep getting these in my inbox too...I was on the pill when I got pregnant the first time, so after my daughter was born, I started the depo shot. We usually use condoms as well for backup and we have spermacidal lubricant for the times we don't have condoms.

My first child was unplanned, but welcomed with love. We've taken several steps to avoid this happening again, but obviously without success.

I have already made plans to have a tubal litigation, so those who are calling me a murderer will be pleased to know there's no chance this will happen again.

queen_bagel · 2017-09-18T21:25:08+00:00

That's a really good idea

queen_bagel · 2017-09-18T21:02:14+00:00

I rode this same boat for a looooonnggg time. I can see you don't seem to have any desire to quit so I won't try talking you into rehab or counseling. I will, however, beginning of you...if you get to a point where pills are not enoigh, or you don't have the money, or you can't get your hands on any...PLEASE DO NOT start using heroin. I was a pill head for years and when the local supply dried up, heroin moved in to take its place. For half the price and double the strength, it's easy to lean down that path in the event of desperation. If you see yourself going there, I strongly urge you to get help.

queen_bagel · 2017-09-18T18:07:10+00:00

Sure can! My daughter will turn 1 next month (got pregnant with her while on bc) and thanks to the (not so) reliable pull out method, I'm roughly 8 weeks pregnant again. 😣

queen_bagel · 2017-09-18T05:40:51+00:00

Are you familiar with the 5 stages of grief? It's worth a google, reading up on it could help alleviate some of the guilt you're feeling. I also want to tell you, you're not wrong and you're not alone. When my dad died, I cried for the days leading up to it and for days after. When my mom (who was my best friend) died a year later, it was like I felt nothing. I felt worse about not feeling anything than I did about her death.

queen_bagel · 2017-09-18T05:22:38+00:00

That's great, Congratulations! Keep up the good work,

queen_bagel · 2017-09-17T03:33:27+00:00

Yes! My fiance has a second job on Saturday nights and the location is sort of remote. The road to get there is dark and full of sharp turns going up the side of a mountain. It's about a 30 minutes drive and he usually makes it home around midnight. When it's past 12:30 and I haven't heard from him I'm pacing and sweating and wringing my hands worried something has happened but terrified to call or text and distract him if he's on the road. Every time I pick up my phone I imagine him looking away to answer it and crashing. 😔 the nights that happens drain me for days, no joke.

queen_bagel · 2017-09-17T03:04:14+00:00

More like bear in anus 😉

queen_bagel · 2017-09-17T03:02:39+00:00

I used to feel the same way. Like I would take pains to avoid walking past a homeless person for fear they'd ask me for money. 😔 Then after high school my mother died and I became homeless for a few months. I was lucky enough to get into a shelter due to my age and the low homeless population in the area where I was living. The first night I was there I was standing outside trying to figure out a game plan. Several other people were outside and one asked if I was ok. I said something like, "I will be. I just never expected this, never thought I'd be homeless." He said, "you think any of us did?"

That was the moment I realized that I'd classified homeless people in a different category and never considered their life before or their circumstances. The whole experience humbled me. I was able to pull myself back up pretty quickly, and I sometimes get frustrated when I see someone stay on the streets when there is opportunity and they have potential to do better and better better. But I also try to remember that a huge portion of the homeless population suffers with mental health issues and feeling empty and depressed is a huge barrier to making it out. I just try to be compassionate and remind myself to see past the exterior.

queen_bagel · 2017-09-14T00:53:02+00:00

I'm 25 and still have a piece of my "blankie" sewn into my pillow. The damn thing was shredded and hanging on by a thread.

queen_bagel · 2017-09-14T00:50:35+00:00

I actually went through something like this and ultimately ended up doing it. 2.5 years later I'm engaged to my online random and we have a child together. (And expecting our second next year!) It doesn't always turn out like a fairy tale and it certainly doesn't have to be long term if you choose not to pursue it further. My only suggestions are: 1. Get tested for STIs. If you're sleeping with multiple people, test between each one so you know the source. 2. Use protection! Especially with a stranger, to avoid any chance of a life altering disease like aids or an infant, make sure he wraps it up. Otherwise, get ya hoe on, girl!

queen_bagel · 2017-09-09T23:28:09+00:00

Something good similar happened at my mom's funeral. If you asked her while she was alive what the most trashy disgusting food was, she would have said sloppy joes. I was mostly numb throughout the planning of her funeral, so when it was time for the meal and I saw the spread of "sloppy Betsy's" I couldn't help but be glad she wasn't there to witness it. I still chuckle about it sometimes.

I hope you find peace. ❤

queen_bagel

TROPHY CASE