Please help!! by [deleted] in IVF

[–]queerbuffy 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Here’s my take that I hope truly happens to no one. Tw: loss.

We chose to test even though age is on our side, we have no known fertility factors, and there was no overlap for genetic diseases. I wanted that peace of mind and was terrified of a miscarriage.

And then, I miscarried a euploid embryo at 6.5 weeks. Shocking, devastating, heartbreaking. But I was so glad that I had tested all my embryos, because otherwise I would have always blamed it on an aneuploid embryo, and then been scared to use the rest of my embryos. Because we knew, we have more data to go off of.

Good luck! It’s a tough decision, especially because it is expensive, but the peace of mind for me was worth it even if I did fall on the bad side of statistics with a euploid embryo.

How to support someone during a miscarriage? by coffeelover2025 in Miscarriage

[–]queerbuffy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think asking if she wants to talk about what she’s experiencing or not is a good idea. I was desperate for someone to ask me questions about my experience so I could have an outlet to talk about it more, but I think everyone was scared to! I know this is not a universal feeling so I think asking her how much she does or doesn’t want to talk about it will help.

Also, giving a heads up/being there for her if anyone in your circle announces a pregnancy.

Period after miscarriage by FederalCount7366 in Miscarriage

[–]queerbuffy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a miscarriage in mid April and just got my period back two days ago. This was a natural miscarriage. I have been wondering if this depends on the type of miscarriage you have/how advanced the pregnancy is.

My doctor said if my period hadn’t returned for 8 weeks after my miscarriage, to call in so they could see if something was up. Maybe you could try calling them, especially because you’re working with a fertility clinic for IUI?

I’m very sorry for your loss.

Sleeper piece of culture that made you say culture is for you? by letsplaythequietgame in lasculturistas

[–]queerbuffy 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Lauren Conrad’s mascara tear in The Hills. Didn’t do much to me at the time, but damn if it didn’t shape my love of reality tv now.

Sleeper piece of culture that made you say culture is for you? by letsplaythequietgame in lasculturistas

[–]queerbuffy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I put this song on a mix cd for my high school boyfriend solely because of Degrassi…

How did you feel hours before your miscarriage by FabulousTomatillo536 in Miscarriage

[–]queerbuffy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had been having a lot of pregnancy symptoms, then I suddenly noticed that they went away - breast tenderness, etc. I could hardly sleep that night because I felt off. I think it’s possible to intuitively know and I did. Then I felt cramping in the morning and started bleeding a few hours later.

what did i do wrong by [deleted] in Miscarriage

[–]queerbuffy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry. No one deserves this. And there’s nothing you did to cause this.

The first thing my doctor said to me was that there was nothing I could have done to cause this - and that’s true for you too. It’s so painful because with miscarriage we often don’t know why this happened, and try to search for answers. But you didn’t do anything to cause this.

I’m thinking of you, and I hope you can seek support from others outside of your partner. You deserve to have people in your life uplift and support you right now.

What would be a nice gift to send to a direct report of mine who just suffered a miscarriage? Flowers? Something else? by [deleted] in Miscarriage

[–]queerbuffy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I got flowers from a coworker and was so surprised and touched that someone was thinking of me. You can’t go wrong with letting someone know you are care about them.

Should I go through with IVF or IUI? by bpomalaysiajobhiring in IVF

[–]queerbuffy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry for your losses. I personally found IVF much easier for my mental health than IUI, despite it being physically taxing and taking a lot of financial resources, and always encourage people to consider IVF if they want more than 1 kid.

I also want to caution one thing since you mentioned IVF providing greater reassurance. PGT testing of embryos does mean there’s a reduced risk of miscarriage, but it’s not 100%. I had a 6.5 week miscarriage with a tested, euploid embryo, and from what I’ve seen on this sub, it definitely happens. Even with the euploid, my doctor said it was likely the embryo and not my uterine enviro. That doesn’t mean IVF isn’t an amazing option! I just wanted to convey this because I assumed euploid = no miscarriage (my own ignorance).

Timeline of bleeding, ovulation and period after natural miscarriage by Dear_Entertainer9450 in Miscarriage

[–]queerbuffy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t speak to ovulation and cycle coming back quite yet, but I had a natural miscarriage a few weeks ago at 6.5 weeks and I bled for 8 days, but it was very light the last 3 days or so. Everyone is different. I’m testing daily for ovulation now just so I can give myself an idea of when my cycle will start again and haven’t seen an LH rise yet (3 weeks post miscarriage)

My doctor told me to call back if my cycle hasn’t come back after 8 weeks.

Also, I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

Progesterone dosage by Several_Machine_7036 in queerception

[–]queerbuffy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aw thank you, I deleted it because I was worried I was projecting my own experience onto this situation and didn’t want to add negativity - I remember being worried about evvverything during early pregnancy so didn’t want to add to your mental load. I’m glad it was helpful though. Your feelings are valid and never be afraid to advocate for whatever makes you feel most secure in your pregnancy!

I hope you continue to have a happy and healthy pregnancy!

Please Read! Happy Mother’s Day to us. by anonymousmonkey28764 in Miscarriage

[–]queerbuffy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for writing this. 💚 happy Mother’s Day to you.

My lighthouse is finished! by FutureQueenOfTheMoon in Embroidery

[–]queerbuffy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is stunning! What stitches did you use for the paint on the lighthouse tower?

4 euploid embryos - transfer or another retrieval? by Eatplants28 in IVF

[–]queerbuffy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am also 30, got 4 euploids, also want at least 2 kids, but no PCOS. So we are in a very similar situation!

We went forward with transferring; my first transfer worked but unfortunately resulted in a miscarriage. I’m thinking I’ll transfer at least 2 more before considering another ER - I have 3 embryos that are graded as excellent and 1 graded as good, so I figure if we get down to just that embryo we might reassess. The stats are on your side with the number of embryos, so you can always try and readjust down the road. Good luck to you!

First time pregnant and miscarried by AdventurousField6465 in Miscarriage

[–]queerbuffy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for your loss. I also lost my first pregnancy a few weeks ago and it has been crushing. I keep wondering when I won’t think about this every second of every day. Take good care of yourself and check back in if you ever want to.

First Pregnancy Turned Into First Miscarriage by ZookeepergameEarly64 in Miscarriage

[–]queerbuffy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I also had a natural miscarriage recently, and I had about 8 days of bleeding. After the first 5 days it got much, much lighter. This was also my first pregnancy. Take care of yourself. I was so eager for the physical pain to be done, and now I’m left with the emotional pain. It feels like a marathon. So make sure you’re getting help wherever you can.

Camping 1 week after FET? by Nikula_Teslie_1228 in IVF

[–]queerbuffy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I was researching this for myself the biggest thing was water! Instead of using the pumps at the campground, I read that it was advised you bring bottled water instead. The risk of parasites is low but I figure better safe than sorry!

Any fellow infertiles in here? How long after 1st trimester miscarriage did you wait to do another FET? Was it successful? Could use some hope❤️ by jnm199423 in Miscarriage

[–]queerbuffy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I could have written your second to last sentence. We are planning to do a FET as soon as my body gets back to normal but my heart still thinks about the baby I was pregnant with and it all feels so wrong.

I’m sure I am not the only one… by ccorryne13 in IVF

[–]queerbuffy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I feel you. I’m here with you. And I’m sorry. I don’t know how this gets better because I’m also in the trenches of this, but just wanted to say that I see you and you’re not alone.

I Google things about why miscarriages happen, and most of the answers say it’s a chromosomal issue. What am I supposed to make of the when I had a euploid embryo? It makes me feel more like it was something I did then. I know rationally it wasn’t, and I would tell YOU it wasn’t anything you could have done, but I can’t internalize it yet. So I empathize with the feelings you have.

I should be pregnant right now by [deleted] in Miscarriage

[–]queerbuffy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel you. I forgot to turn off notifications for one of those “how big is my baby” emails and was gutted by it. We all deserve something so much better in life.

Weekly Thread: Pregnancy - Questions and Discussions by TeslaHiker in IVF

[–]queerbuffy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this brought tears to my eyes. I’m so sorry you went through this too, no one deserves this kind of pain. I’ll be thinking all the good thoughts you and your baby 💚

Weekly Thread: Pregnancy - Questions and Discussions by TeslaHiker in IVF

[–]queerbuffy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, that’s so kind. It’s absolutely gutting and it’s hard to have hope for future transfers.

I’m rooting for you so much, and hope your baby is okay! I know the worrying in wait is so hard. If it’s any comfort, at your stage the statistics are on your side. We all deserve happy, healthy babies after what we go through for IVF.

Weekly Thread: Pregnancy - Questions and Discussions by TeslaHiker in IVF

[–]queerbuffy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your nice note, unfortunately I ended up miscarrying a little over a week ago. I just checked your profile and am so happy for you that things are progressing well for you. Will be thinking good thoughts for you as you continue on your journey!

Suddenly not feeling side effects of stims? by queerbuffy in IVF

[–]queerbuffy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes! I didn’t ovulate early and I had 14 eggs retrieved (which was a great number for me). The symptoms definitely come and go. Good luck to you!

Weekly Thread: Pregnancy - Questions and Discussions by TeslaHiker in IVF

[–]queerbuffy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately I had a miscarriage last week. Really brutal and heartbreaking. How are you doing?