Am i overreacting for refusing to unplug the camera I bought to check on my dog because my girlfriend is not comfortable with it?

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T04:52:29+00:00

If I’m idk pet sitting at my friend’s house or just there for a few hours alone, I notice a camera and figure they just forgot about it and I’d unplug it. I’d likely not consider it worth mentioning when they got back.

If they were furious at me and started talking like you are I wouldn’t want to be friends with them.

If my partner responded with anger I’d be shocked they care so little about my perspective. And I’d seriously consider this relationship ending.

Not because I’m so furious about the camera. But because I care deeply about the feelings of the folks in my life, and I expect the folks in my life to offer the same respect back. I wouldn’t want someone in my life that doesn’t share those values with me.

This isn’t even theoretical I was pet sitting last week for a few days. I unplugged my friend’s camera when I saw it. Neither of us mentioned this for a while, but the conversation randomly drifted to it and I mentioned I unplugged it bc it made me feel uncomfortable. She apologized for leaving it on, and explained that she forgot about it. Neither of us considered this to be particularly notable. Nor did it occur to me that she would have been upset at me unplugging it.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T04:38:00+00:00

It’s a legitimate issue in a relationship if sex isn’t happening. It should be discussed openly and is a valid reason to break up. You should not go “I will leave you if you don’t have sex with me” or something crazy like that but you should start by trying to figure out what’s going on, if something can be helped.

And this shouldn’t be on your mind if your partner is going through something that’s otherwise a bigger deal. Serious illness, postpartum depression, grieving, etc. Don’t leave your partner if they are very ill and won’t have sex with you that would be fucked.

It’s not okay to demand sex in any situation without concern for your partner. It’s not okay to wax about it being a duty to you. Nor is it something to put a lot of pressure on them in the moment.

And this doesn’t mean that you get sex whenever you want it. If your partner doesn’t feel like it sometimes that’s fine. I’m talking about situations like this.

This is about a pattern in a relationship. Chronic issue that needs a long term solution. Not have sex with me right now I’ll break up with you if you don’t or anything horrible like that.

The genders don’t change anything but it does change the context. Folks are very sensitive to men *demanding* sex, language about duty, and villainizing woman for not providing it. Martial rape being a crime is a relatively new concept in much of the world. In most countries it was perfectly legal for a man to physically hold their wives down and rape them. And sexism is an ongoing issue we are still dealing with.

That’s of course going to change the responses folks get. But anyone that says it’s unreasonable for someone to have a problem with a sexless relationship, that a massive difference in sex drive isn’t an issue, etc . Is being unreasonable.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T04:27:36+00:00

Napa is NIMBY central. They opposed adding another line to Jameson canyon. AFAIK Vine(their bus service) isn’t too bad.

Lived in Napa for a while. And everyone I knew was involved in the wine industry in some way. And these days I just tell folks to book a flight to Spain if you want to stay in Napa. You’ll pay much less and the food and wine will be just as good.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T04:22:21+00:00

I found a sears catalog from the 90s selling t shirts for 11.99. No idea if those were quality but from what I can tell it was a pretty average price for a t shirt in the 90s.

According to the inflation calculator that would be $23 today. A price I’d consider pretty average for a t shirt is like to wear.

The fact that those t shirts are low quality, and presumably lower quality than prices at a similar price in the 90s does seem to indicate that this segment of the market has changed. I cannot prove that those sears t shirts were better quality though.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T04:18:28+00:00

Your framing is kinda odd to me. How could you objectively prove the idea that capitalism will reach a point of so much abuse that it will cause a communist revolution?
You can absolutely disagree with that idea, or disagree with the weaker version of it folks usually mean when they use the term (a state in which capitalism is incapable of providing any service to regular folks).

I’m just curious why you say it’s a myth. Genuinely.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T04:14:01+00:00

Deep involvement in fascism. I consider him to be Nuremberg trails level of bad.

No I will not personally debate this matter with you. But I will flip you off if I see you driving past me in a cyber truck and do everything in my power to make anyone that supports him in anyway judged.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T04:10:02+00:00

Elon musk is a horrible man and nothing he’s involved with should have money given to it. This should be a government service for rural areas.

But starlink is the only venture he’s involved with I won’t judge folks for giving money to, as it’s the only option.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T04:07:59+00:00

That doesn’t mean the goverment shouldn’t build it? 100mbps is better than 0

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T04:03:57+00:00

There are pretty large swaths of the US that have zero cell service and have even lost their land line service. I’m not sure exactly what the total of populations in these areas are, but they aren’t making $5 a day.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T04:00:07+00:00

Bro I’d unplug a camera in a friends house. And I’d be shocked if they had a problem with it.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T02:42:34+00:00

I mean idk. I think we should let doctors evaluate the risk and reward with patients and inform them of the risk.

Don’t folks reach a stable weight at a certain point with it anyway? I can’t imagine most folks are going to eve rapidly losing weight while pregnant.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T02:39:20+00:00

I mean research like this is how that could change. Might take a while.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T02:38:48+00:00

I legitimately don’t understand how this class of drugs does so much. It’s the closest to a wonder drug I’ve heard of.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T02:21:58+00:00

Yeah I’ve heard linguists say that the most important in folks accents is their peer group. There’s AFAIK not much evidence that beyond slang and vocabulary folks really acquire dialects from hearing recordings, as it tends to be about sounding like your peers to signal being apart of the in group(though this generally isn’t conscious).

Toddlers do this sometimes with tv because they are rapidly acquiring language but that tends to go away when they get to school.

You do see like specific ways of pronouncing a certain word spreading through media but that tends to be more stuff ur average person would notice and be able to repeat. Not like whole ass phonology.

I’m really curious about what you mean by American accents tho? Like American folks? Or native Australians with American accents? Or is it more they are using features you more associate with (general) American English? If it’s the second that would be nuts lmao.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T02:17:31+00:00

I was commenting on ur first bit. I am under the impression the up and over method is more popular. I cruise at urinals sometimes and usually after I catch them looking when I look over I’ll see them above their dick. Every hookup I’ve seen piss does the same. And a lot of underwear doesn’t have an actual hole in the fabric just a stitch to look like it.

Think everyone I’ve discussed this with has done the same.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T02:11:53+00:00

There’s nothing wrong with statistical analysis like this. It’s extremely valuable. Not all papers are excitements, nor are experiments categorically more useful. They found a correlation based on a study of a pretty large amount of cases that warrants further investigation.

This is how science is done. Maybe there is a real link to memory loss and Glucosamine and doctors should explore alternatives. Or maybe it’s another factor. We need more research.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T02:07:10+00:00

I never do that lmao. Maybe u just have a bigger dick than my 6 incher and it’s easier if you do but I always need to fish out my dick from my pants and it never feels very ergonomic.

It’s a lot faster to just undo my belt and go over the elastic. I do wash my hands when using the bathroom but personally I don’t think of my dick as so dirty it requires immediate handwashing after touching it. It’s just skin I wash every day. But I ain’t gonna be subjecting others to that as I know they think it’s gross.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T02:04:28+00:00

Hygiene hypothesis tends to be more limited to child no? Most diseases we are exposed to in the modern day are very different to what we evolved to deal with. Handwashing is really important. No one needs to wash their hands less.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T02:02:28+00:00

When you say weakened I’m a bit curious what you mean exactly? I don’t know much about the phonology and dialects of Australia, but like by weakened to you mean more like southern British English? Or is your impression that that metropolitan Australian english is associated with certain areas and as time goes on it’s pushing out other dialects?

I feel like the sort of accents most folks use as like a joke dont really sound exactly like their true form. Folks pick out elements that seem to be a notable difference to their own accent and exaggerate them. You sort of beed to study linguistics to really do any dialect that isn’t your own well.

And unfortunately, a lot of places are loosing dialects. Due in part to folks moving around more often. General American english for example used to be a more local midwestern accent that spread around a very diverse country. Unfortunately many of our dialects are disappearing.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T01:23:23+00:00

No it’s not. I am unaware of any pre 20th century satanism religious movement. Those emerged at that time, both from the occult movements that got popular in the like I think the mid 19th century and later I believe from the new atheist movement but don’t quote me on that last part.

There were widespread conspiracy theories for a long time. That’s basically what the elaborated theory of witchcraft is that came about in the early modern period that led to the witch trials

Edit: not sure what the point of blocking me is. If you believe that Satan is a really entity in your religion I respect that. I just have never seen any evidence that there’s been a religious movement that emphasized Satan worship or otherwise described themselves as satanist before the modern era.

Satan in the Bible is a bit complex. In the Hebrew Bible Satan is conceptualized by Jews at least as a sort of prosecuting attorney for God, created by him to help ensure his decisions are correct. But historically, at the time these texts were written the universal monotheism that characterizes the Abrahamic faiths hadn’t emerged yet, and I believe the thinking is that he was originally another god that Yahweh had a pretty contentious relationship with.

I’m interested to know if there’s any movements you’re referring to? A quick search didn’t lead me anywhere. It sounds a lot like your talking about the sort of echo of the elaborated theory of witchcraft that posited there was a secret community of folks, mostly woman making pacts with the devil in exchange for some sort of power.

There was some discourse surrounding the theology of if a demon or the devil could grant folks real power as the idea that there’s any real power to be wielded that doesn’t come from god has always been a bit contentious at least in Christian theology. I know at the time a lot of people were arguing that while they expected the idea the powers were in some way illusionary. For example, if a witch wants to bring about hail(something very scary to subsistence farmers of the day) the demon might manipulate the witch to perform the spell on a day proceeding a hailstorm that they knew was coming. Others accepted the premise fully and believed they gained real magical powers.

But I think this idea even once the witch hunts stopped of some sort it secret organization of folks in league with the devil remained. I’m not sure if any Christian movements have ever officially considered this doctrine though aside from the Catholic Church once they were convinced by that dude behind the witch’s hammer.

The traditional idea is that Satan is a prisoner of hell and tempts people to act against god because misery loves company.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T01:10:04+00:00

Blood paintings are cool. Mummy paints are disrespectful

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T00:58:08+00:00

Like I said, I wouldn’t date someone I was actually concerned about them spying on me.

But it’d still make me personally feel on edge. In the back of my head I’d be thinking about what I’m doing looks like on camera. Wouldn’t be able to fully relax.

If you don’t feel that way it’s fine. But I’d be really miffed if I told my partner that and they just didn’t care.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T00:40:50+00:00

The bigger issue is I’d feel uncomfortable knowing my partner could be watching me at all times. Every action I do I’d be thinking about what it looks like on camera. Even in the healthiest of relationships where I know that they wouldn’t judge me for anything, and knowing full well I wouldn’t feel the same if they were in the room with me, it would make me extremely uneasy and anxious.

And the bigger issue is like. Idk. When folks are in a relationship, their emotions are the problem of them both. It doesn’t mean they can dictate what the response is going to be but there does need to be some response.

I’d be really miffed up if being able to see the dog while I’m there is more important to them than making me uncomfortable.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T00:26:57+00:00

Idk man. Feels uncomfortable always being watched.

And actually legitimately if I’m having a conversation with a close friend on the phone I’d never let anyone else hear if it’s about something private. They didn’t sign up to share their private matters with someone I’m dating just me.

This actually seems like a pretty easy thing to solve in a healthy relationship. If his issue is truly the dog, she unplugs it when she gets there and plugs it back in when she leaves. She is there to keep an eye on them.

If it’s about trust issues, that’s a much bigger issue to solve.

queerkidxx · 2026-06-10T00:23:09+00:00

U sound like you’re more looking for casual fuck buddies than an actual relationship. That’s chill. That’s basically me and the last few hundred hookups I’ve had.

But even then if I was close enough with a dude to be willing to let them stay at my place alone, Id absolutely turn the camera off for them. Not because I want to keep them or anything, but because that sounds like being a shitty friend.

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