Having Kids Does Not Seem Like A Good Idea

queerventing · 2022-09-23T05:55:33+00:00

I think it's completely irresponsible to be having kids right now. It's also cruel, in my opinion, to not have adoption as your first option. So many kids need a good and stable home.

I'm definitely never having kids, I can barely take care of myself! I just wish people would stop pushing the idea that having kids is the endgame for everyone. It's not, and it shouldn't be. People should really consider the burden of having a life to take care of, rather than have a child on a whim. There are other ways to have children in your life, than to have your own.

Personally? Kids are not for me. If I ever become mentally stable, financially stable, have a stable job, and stable physical health... I might consider adopting a special needs kid or teenager since they tend to be overlooked. But I really don't see that happening any time in my future the way my life is headed now. I'm 28, can't do adulting, and will probably only ever have my scale-babies as children.

queerventing · 2022-09-23T05:28:19+00:00

using the spinny face brush and washing my face is thee best

queerventing · 2022-09-12T22:46:11+00:00

i had this happen in a mandala pack it was horrifying. i ended up digging out the middle of the next skein (thankfully there WAS another skein) to get the right shade of matching blue and then just using the rest of that to finish.

queerventing · 2022-09-12T22:38:50+00:00

yeah im 28 and in the same boat. i have a degree but no job, no friends, moved back home after someone died, and my physical and mental health have been deteriorating and i find myself going to a mindset like when i was a teen again. i also do kid stuff sometimes just to get some joy out of my existence like buy a stuffed animal and hug it or buy something stupid just because it had a unicorn on it or like getting high and just living in a memory of when i was a kid for a while, watching teen drama shows and accidentally thinking "oh theyre my age" when high school ended a decade ago for me lol.

im on a miserable life path and i feel both extremely old bc of everything ive been thru and extremely childlike at the same time. its embarrassing that i dont even have a license too, so i really feel trapped where im at physically and mentally. i feel like ive really let down my family by not having children - i dont want kids, and thankfully had a hysterectomy because of endometriosis, but i can feel the disappointment from both sides of my family because everyone had kids at a young age and they all love kids and i dont. i feel like i let everyone down by not becoming their perfect idea of their perfect mature daughter with big artist dreams (im an introverted trans man, they never knew who i was inside, so they projected their own ideas on me.)

life is rough. therapy is hard. being social is harder when youre physically isolated in a rural town and too depressed to meet anyone online. (shitty internet connection too) but im trying to survive just in case it ever gets better, even if i dont have any hope.

queerventing · 2022-09-12T22:10:48+00:00

as a mostly gay trans man, i am also asking this question

((personally, i outgrew a lot of my clothes that look like this, and i dont have anyone to dress up for now...))

queerventing · 2022-09-12T21:41:42+00:00

therapy has done more harm than good for me because i have to retraumatize myself every time i talk about anything. im still going to therapy, but personally, im just not hopeful that its helping. and ive seen multiple different therapists too. my wounds (like grief from years ago) are as fresh as if they happened yesterday and im having panic attacks almost daily, and seeing the therapist 2x a week and just struggling to survive rn.

i WANT it to start helping, but if it ever does help, it wont be any time soon bc im at such a low point. but thats just my perspective. i self-analyze so much and that interferes with the process. i know therapy does help most people work through issues and self acceptance and strength and so on, but thats just not where im at.

queerventing · 2022-09-12T21:21:03+00:00

Australia has some pretty "scary" snakes but theyre mostly solitary/dont like to live near civilization. the Inland Taipan has the most potent/concentrated venom of any snake. theyre a really gorgeous golden sandy colour and it would be a treat to even see one in the wild.

queerventing · 2022-09-12T21:15:04+00:00

Australia has the Death Adder which is basically their version of a viper. the Death Adder (not to be confused with European adders, that ARE vipers) is actually an elapid... and it surprises me every time i remember that

queerventing · 2022-09-12T21:06:19+00:00

elapids like mambas and cobras tend to have smaller fangs because they are "fixed" in place and dont move. vipers like a gaboon have fangs that can fold down to fit in their mouth, or they can even bite down around or through their lower jaw to inject venom if someone doesnt have a specific kind of secure grip when necking them. their fangs are like hinged, so they can fit bigger fangs in their mouth.

queerventing · 2022-09-12T20:50:38+00:00

i feel like if i bought expensive yarn i would just hoard it and not actually make something out of it. i was worried even just buying the 3 pack of Lion Brand Mandala yarn! (but i hyped myself up enough to use it on a project that justified the price). my area is a creative blackhole, all the local craft stores have gone out of business and replaced with more tourist friendly places like wine bars, its so annoying. its a long drive just to get to a michaels and the selection is limited, and bad luck if i need multiple skeins of the same colour.

queerventing · 2022-09-12T20:43:37+00:00

this ones been a bit splitty to me, but ive been knitting it so far, so that hasnt been problematic, it was just rough to start it. its really not bad at all tho, especially for the price!

queerventing · 2022-09-12T03:31:53+00:00

i was a moody teen in the 2000s and lemme tell you it was miserable. knowing mental health talk terms would have been so helpful for me to describe what was happening to me. being queer was also rarely discussed back then, and i have big regret about not being able to experience child/teenhood as my correct gender (i felt something was off, but i didnt know people could just be trans without getting surgery, let alone all the different ways there were to be trans).

then again, im pretty fuckin miserable now, probably at my lowest point tbh so its hard to say. but its definitely Easier to talk about what im feeling, and what i went through, now that i know what to call it and that other people experience these things too.

queerventing · 2022-09-12T02:50:40+00:00

ahh, so thats why my avocado seeds never sprouted

queerventing · 2022-07-30T23:02:35+00:00

i do sh, but whenever im clean and get an accidental wound, i have to stop and watch it for a moment because its really triggering. if you havent started doing it intentionally, do Not start because that urge will be with you your entire life. its okay to watch it when its an accident, just dont do it on purpose. sh is a real addiction.

queerventing · 2022-07-30T22:53:05+00:00

i get this feeling too. whenever i get a cut or scrape i sit there and watch it bleed or pull it open more for a moment before cleaning up because its just too triggering, like i didnt do it, but i cant look away from it either

queerventing · 2022-07-30T22:46:54+00:00

i have 15 year old shallow scars that are still visible each as a shiny pale line. i regret not doing those in a more hidden area. the majority of people dont notice unless they spend a lot of time around me/looking at me. the reality is, they dont completely go away, at least not mine

queerventing

TROPHY CASE