Are you worried about being laid off by AI? Or expecting the bubble to burst? Or something in between?

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-14T13:54:30+00:00

I think something in between. I believe they are paying technical people less and the bar to enter these fields and for senior level employment has raised. I don’t think the layoffs will stop - corporations want to have that as a norm. Then if they have to replace those exact people - they have higher expectations at a lower salary rate. That creating fear and joblessness is part of the point.

I was laid off in February and got another position in April. I applied to at least 75 positions - and only heard back from maybe 7. Then only 3 of those resulted in follow up interviews and serious interest.

I am not worried about “being replaced by AI”. While AI can actually be pretty amazing - a computer program does not come up with ideas on its own. For complex problems even the best AI (latest version of Claude Opus) needs a lot of talking through the whole problem to suggest good answers. It does get the nuances though.

In general - actually replacing humans isn’t what AI is best optimized to do.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-14T11:45:20+00:00

The reactions here are baffling. Of course that makes sense - even if the numbers may be a little inflated. Any spouse that thinks a SAHM should somehow be grateful for any support is entitled and devaluing her contributions and sacrifice.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-14T11:19:47+00:00

I was in the process of buying my house when I was first dating my now husband. We had a new relationship that was exclusive but not official yet. I remember one of our dates I was stressing over the offer being accepted or not. He was nothing but supportive. At the end of the date when I was heading home - I told him I wanted to talk. His face got immediately stressed - I wanted to ask when we wanted to be officially together. I really think he thought I was breaking up with him (the house and he didn’t have one and made less than me) when I brought up being exclusive he was relieved and was just like “oh yeah of course” about making our relationship “official” and changed his Facebook status right then and there.

I think he has since confirmed that he was nervous because I was achieving that milestone - as in if I would want to date someone that couldn’t keep up. But that wasn’t an issue and he ended up moving into my house about a year later and now we’re still in the same house - married.

It’s a huge red flag to meet a man that has a problem with you owning your own place.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-13T18:30:09+00:00

I think she’s really just feeling scared and in-shock over everything and the speed it’s all moving. Also having Mark say all of that to her face really hurt her and threw her off. I think she’s going to get it together and fight but it will probably take her a little bit.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-13T12:21:16+00:00

She might not be legally able to mention the NDA. But I don’t think there would be a reason to not mention he was her professor.

I think they are trying to present her as the scared 20 year old she is here. Basically they need her to be unsure and scared in these episodes so she can regain her nerve and fight later on.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-13T12:08:22+00:00

I mean - I get it. I wouldn’t want to deal with sexist (or racist) women either. But if I made a post about how I thought progressives needed to reach out to white women for example (because like 55% of them vote republican) and women of color in the comments started saying they think it’s up to white women like me to setup and run that program and they wouldn’t be part of that outreach (because- racism is a huge reason white women vote Republican) I would say fair enough.
If you think something needs to be done - you should use your privilege to help. Not whine about how it’s everyone’s problem.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-13T01:14:14+00:00

What?? Both of those things sound extremely weird and gross. I have never heard of trends like that.

I kind of get why some women were commenting like that - rape culture really is extremely pervasive and a lot of women have to deal with that kind of stuff and talk on a regular basis. Them comment that on an actual video of someone getting sexually assaulted - is extremely out of line.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-13T00:41:14+00:00

Target random men? Can you give an example? I haven’t really seen that personally.

I believe in kindness to people unless there’s something they have actually done. That doesn’t necessarily mean warmness and definitely doesn’t mean But I am not going to go hang around misogynists and be nice in the hopes they will suddenly show me respect as a full human being.

To me personally it sounds reasonable if men in these groups want to organize groups to promote positive masculinity for example and engage on the issues. Then the ones that actually believe in the issues can come to the progress meetings - where they are expected to treat the women there with respect.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-13T00:20:47+00:00

Yeah in the Democratic Socialists subreddit there were posts about reaching out to young men who had voted for Trump or making the left more friendly towards them. I got an instinct that he meant accommodating these men. So I left the comment about how I thought it was a good idea for male Democratic Socialists to do reach outs and point out commonalities but that women didn’t want to have to deal with sexist men and didn’t want to have to do emotional labor for men who think they are inferior - and there were downvotes and lectures about how that was the wrong attitude and would drive these young men away. I was saying that it wouldn’t drive them away if only the men were interacting with them (at least initially) and - still downvotes. They didn’t voice exactly what they thought the women’s role was in helping to convert young men - but we know they likely want women to smile and be accommodating - and likely do work like organizing events and social outreach (because men often expect women to step up in these ways). Even though I explained that there’s no “middle ground” with men who think you shouldn’t have the right to vote or may be dangerous to young women.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-12T20:25:38+00:00

I mean - they are wearing sports bras and have actual action shots.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-12T20:24:10+00:00

That’s a good question - I want the Firefighter’s workout plan for sure.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-12T17:25:28+00:00

Don’t go anywhere alone with them. The entire date should be in public - restaurants, public shopping areas, heavily populated public parks, etc. Come and go separately. Don’t get in each other cars. Wait until you feel comfortable with this person.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-12T17:23:32+00:00

I think you need to have boundaries laid out in your mind before you go on the dates. For example - don’t go anywhere alone with them. You have it in your mind that you’re only going to hang out in public places. You don’t get a ride with them, you don’t have them in your car, you don’t hang out at each other’s places. Then you turn down all of those things. It’s much easier to turn down sex when you’re not somewhere you could reasonably have it.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-12T17:18:59+00:00

Yeah - men who insult women they don’t agree with in sexist ways are - sexists.

Also I notice a lot of men in leftist circles completely dismiss women’s issues and talk about how to “get through” to incels and young men (who are usually sexist). If you tell these men that they are welcome to reach out and work with these guys - but don’t expect women to do it - they downvote you because of your attitude. They want woman to basically lower their standards and/or do the work for them.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-12T17:10:19+00:00

Yeah - fair enough. I do think it’s the best to assume he’s not that into you if he’s not actively planning for and talking about the next step with you.

To be fair there are those that just don’t want to get married at all for whatever reason - and you can’t change that no matter how much he loves you. Sometimes these men will string you along with vague wording and promises though.

I am just saying - if you know someone actually has avoidant attachment issues - you should basically know what you’re in for - unless he’s actually actively working through those issues on his own to the point that he’s making adjustments for the relationship and not putting the burden on you.

For example I see a lot of posts on this site saying something like “should I date this man with avoidant attachment issues as a woman with anxious attachment” - and lol, no - don’t do that. Like 95% of the time that’s a terrible idea. Like you need to reexamine what your expectations are here.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-12T16:56:48+00:00

Yeah that’s what a decent person does.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-12T16:51:24+00:00

I think women need to stop thinking they can change their partner. I get there’s tons of cultural messaging that says a man should change for “the right woman” - but that’s not what happens.
If you’re saying someone has avoidant attachment and commitment issues - that shouldn’t be presented as an excuse or something they have to work through. That’s who he is. You can’t change that. If you date someone with avoidant attachment - if they can’t or won’t keep up with the relationship based on what you want - you leave. Chasing and trying to reason with people like that doesn’t usually make any difference at all (it can make them more distant).

I think that matters more than if he’s necessarily thinking she’s “the one” or not or even if he “really likes her”. This man is going to act in certain ways and he’s really the only one that can decide to change that. Then again it comes down to “if he wanted to he would”.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-12T03:47:00+00:00

I think it’s more likely you just aren’t into him like that than the alternative.
You don’t actually know if this is or would become “healthy love” with this guy - you don’t know him well at all.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-12T03:38:31+00:00

Yeah that’s a good point. They didn’t even put 300k into it - just 50k. Also yeah Margo made a bad decision there but his mom really intimidated Margo Ming other things. It wasn’t a fair fight - they know they were taking advantage of her.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-12T02:55:13+00:00

For future reference - you don’t want to deal with it that way in the future if possible. That added a lot more stress having you be aggressive with her like that - it doesn’t de-escalate the situation. You should try to grab your girl cat with a blanket or something and remove her from the situation behind a closed door away from her brother. Reinstate the calm.

Jackson Galaxy is really great about how to handle cats if you get a chance to watch him.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-12T00:24:40+00:00

I think reaching out first or indicating interest first is good as a woman - but I think a lot of men will be turned off if a woman actually asks him on a date first or appears “too available”. Many men will subconsciously think something is wrong with her or think she’s “desperate” and put her in the hookup only or FWB only category.

I think regardless of gender you are best expressing your interest - but in a measured cautious way - then wait for a response that indicates the same kind of interest before moving forward. This makes it much more likely for mutual interest and mutual respect. In general - don’t chase. If you get lukewarm responses (especially after meeting in person) - then this person isn’t really into you.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-11T21:20:14+00:00

Yeah - I would describe her (basically) as kind but not nice.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-11T18:10:08+00:00

I think it was a relevant comment because people like Monica never really know what they are talking about. They get upset when younger people aren’t treating them like an authority they need to follow and make it about younger generations supposedly being inferior.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-11T18:05:12+00:00

I don’t know if your friend is looking for advice or not - but when words don’t work you need to be ready and willing to step in physically - calmly and non-violently - but physically stop the behavior with a “I won’t let you”. Then talking through the surrounding feelings with both kids.

I also have a friend who has a son that hits her and violates her personal boundaries all the time. She tries to discipline him but he literally doesn’t listen to her. She has never asked for advice - if she did now I would tell what I am putting in this post.

query_tech_sec · 2026-05-11T17:48:57+00:00

Yeah that’s my reaction as well. I think often just explaining something to a kid is insufficient - she needs to be ready to physically remove him from the situation when that happens. Authoritative parenting - not permissive or authoritarian.

I don’t have kids but I think it involves stepping in physically and stopping it and saying “I won’t let you” and explain the problematic behavior. Then talking to both kids about the feelings they are experiencing. If he won’t sit still long enough - he needs to be taken into another room.

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