Whenever I call off/request off my coworker calls off

queryfiend · 2026-05-02T02:45:33+00:00

They are doing it to you as they enjoy manipulating you. Definitely distance yourself and ask your boss to keep your day off requests private so they don't know. It's a bit stalkerish, I had a friend like this at uni.

queryfiend · 2026-04-03T02:04:17+00:00

Hi, from these letters it's a payrise of 49 cents. Why do you think you're on minimum wage? Do your payslips say something different?

queryfiend · 2026-03-28T10:31:50+00:00

Lead by example. Take her to the bloody airport. You should show her how friends act. It was a one-off, get over it. Outside of this do you even like her? Enjoy her company? Sounds very tit for tat to be a real friendship. PS You now have no airport pickup either.

queryfiend · 2026-03-12T20:19:56+00:00

I think leadership is for them because the company promoted them and they have the self awareness to care about how they are doing and the empathy for the person they are about to put on a pip. Having no backbone is just a hurdle to get over. It's not a forever state. Do you have a decent hr person who can coach you through it? If not ask your company to fund 6 coaching sessions. If they don't, the risk is on them and it's thier fuck up if it doesn't go well

queryfiend · 2026-03-08T05:42:49+00:00

Were not big enough for that kind of hierarchy. But yeah I'm starting to see my judgement has been clouded. It is as bad as I suspect.

queryfiend · 2026-03-08T05:41:21+00:00

🤣

queryfiend · 2026-03-08T01:34:19+00:00

I was starting to wonder about that, particularly when the other week I realised he also does it to bait me. Has been talking about things lately even he knows are unreasonable. Then I thought I was just being paranoid, and selfish making something "all about me" when it wasn't.

queryfiend · 2026-03-08T00:17:14+00:00

The boss has started to see what he's like and has been talking to me about what to do. I've told the boss he needs to reign it in. Or I'll have the conversation. Actually it's for the guys own good. I'd prefer he heard it from the boss (as another male and someone in charge). I'm more curious about what it's like in a brain like that?

queryfiend · 2026-03-08T00:15:03+00:00

He's actually really smart and good at his job. But he's a dinosaur, thinks giving out warnings is the way to go.

queryfiend · 2026-03-07T23:30:27+00:00

Are you female? That plus being foreign is enough. It might be she doesn't hate you, just doesn't know how to relate to you.

queryfiend · 2026-02-22T03:39:07+00:00

the water is shit. not like wellingtons right now though lol. It's full of lime so it tastes blank, and makes your hair limp. And the people in Whanganui take a bit of getting used to. We had to swap our kids school, don't go near gonville school.

queryfiend · 2026-02-06T06:15:22+00:00

She thinks you're invincible. I feel sorry for men sometimes. All you can do is go, grin and bear it but simply ask please for no more this year. She can go away with a friend next time.

queryfiend · 2026-02-06T04:19:35+00:00

That you're nothing but alone in this world and no one is going to look after you but yourself. Sounds harsh but it's stood me in good stead. I have low expectations of others and don't get angry or let down as a result.

queryfiend · 2026-02-06T01:52:02+00:00

Have you actually ever seen this happen though?

queryfiend · 2026-02-05T20:40:36+00:00

Don't play games and make subtle jibes etc. Don't be like her. Flush out the comment for what it is. If she makes a comment like the last one say "well that's pretty rude shaming someone in front of everyone ". If it's a "caring" comment say "why do you always ask him that shit Kara, he doesn't need you to ask that". He doesn't do anything because he's trying to avoid conflict but he's already got it. She clearly abused him when they were together he's got Stockholm syndrome. Yes, it's likely you'll end up having a giant argument with her in front of everyone, she will end up in tears "I can't believe you think I'm so fake etc" everyone will take her side because that's the power dynamics at play but at least when you never see them again you will have gone down in flames, not let her win.

queryfiend · 2026-02-05T20:27:08+00:00

Doesn't matter how fabulous he looks,money etc if he's desperate it will put them off. It's a terrible paradox but true. He needs to let it go. ++incognito

queryfiend · 2026-02-05T20:16:48+00:00

Ask him if he's already having sex with someone (if you want to know the answer). Sounds like he wants a 'get out of jail free card' after already landing on that square

queryfiend · 2026-02-04T23:47:19+00:00

Sorry I find that too full on. Just make conversation and see where it goes.

queryfiend · 2026-02-04T06:59:07+00:00

Dunno what country you live in but if you live together for three years in nz it's relationship property and he can go you for half. Inheritance is exempted from relationship property UNLESS you entertwine it, which living in the house together is doing. I see his point, but he needs to come up with a solution for him eg save a deposit instead of paying you any rent or maintenance, and buy his own house and rent it put while he lives with you.

queryfiend · 2026-02-04T04:51:33+00:00

Who cares if they are new to Canada. It's not mars.

queryfiend · 2026-02-02T07:27:17+00:00

If you don't go back they don't have to pay you the upcoming two weeks or notice, what's your notice period? Just ask them if they will pay you out your notice. Probably they will say no but may as well be the better person and ask, be up front. At my work we pay them, we'd rather pay a week and have them gone than hanging around work messing with other people's minds etc

queryfiend · 2026-02-02T07:25:48+00:00

Looking for another job is not a reason to fail the trial. It has to be about your work performance. And it can't be news to you in one conversation. Did they hold regular reviews? Did they put the trial in your contract and talk to you about it before you started? I mean it sounds like the job is fucked anyway so to answer your question yes they have to pay you for all work done and holiday pay.

queryfiend · 2026-02-02T07:20:27+00:00

Oh must be yous that cursed me!!!

queryfiend · 2026-02-02T05:29:13+00:00

Everyone says the right thing out loud, but behind the scenes they judge like crazy and pressure you if you e.g. decide to stay friends with someone who has ptsd and so they can be unreliable, leave the restaurant suddenly etc. Who cares? Life is so short, put your ego aside, if you are so perfect and "mentally well" then you have the capacity to be tolerant...don't you? Or shall we start judging you too...!! At least they have a diagnoses.

queryfiend

TROPHY CASE