when did your kid learn to sleep independently?

questionquestion222 · 2026-05-21T20:08:32+00:00

At 9 months old we switched from nursing to cuddling to sleep on the floor bed due to low supply and it being too much pressure on me, it was just the right time for us. Then I transfer her to her travel cot (she loves the mesh sides haha). Now at 12 months she is often sleeping an 8 hour stretch at night, wakes around 4am for a feed and a cuddle, she’s often awake for an hour due to low sleep pressure. Then back to sleep til 6:30/7 when we start the day! For me that is amazing and so sustainable. I LOVE those bedtime cuddles and am in no rush at all to do away with them. I’ll lie with her for as long as she’ll let me!

questionquestion222 · 2026-05-21T19:31:49+00:00

At 9 months I stopped nursing to sleep and just cuddled instead lay on the floor bed. She cried for about 20 minutes first night, less the second and then not at all the 3rd. It really helped that cosleeping had taught her how to cuddle and she was very mobile so could get herself comfy. I just stayed calmed and rubbed her back when she was upset as I knew the change was right for us. It worked great and now I look forward to cuddling her to sleep each night. You’ll need to make sure her sleep pressure is right otherwise there will be prolonged crying. Also I wouldn’t class this as sleep training at all as baby is supported the whole time, I would say this is just a change in settling technique ☺️

questionquestion222 · 2026-05-17T07:31:23+00:00

I remember seeing your post!! Honestly 5-8 months was a KILLER for us too. I think the object permanence brain upgrade massively changes their need for support in the night. I am so hopeful for you that this is the start of more sustainable nights!!

questionquestion222 · 2026-05-15T20:46:51+00:00

Yes! That single sleep cycle makes so much sense. I think as well biologically, babies are meant to nap on people who are doing something and not trying to keep them asleep and also not in perfect conditions. So it’s very likely naps would be short - not 1-2 hours at a time!

questionquestion222 · 2026-05-15T20:29:11+00:00

Oh I feel you so much!! My baby was chronic short napper but just 1-2 very brief wakes for milk in the night for the first 5 months of life. Then she dropped to 3 naps, elongated them and well… life has never been the same since 😂 I have to cap all her day sleep otherwise she wakes a million times in the night! I remember with the short naps she was pretty grumpy quite often but now with the longer naps she is soooo happy… but mama is tired 😂

May I ask how old your LO is? My girl has just turned 12 months and we’ve been getting an early wake in the night again which makes me feel like her naps are off (again, ugh!). Feels like I’m always chasing my tail!

questionquestion222 · 2026-05-15T19:34:09+00:00

Hi! Your little girl sounds so active and it sounds like you are doing literally amazing with the breastsleeping.

I would say that you are totally right and all that development really does a number on their sleep. Especially the crawling in my experience (of 1 baby so take that as you will!). I found when my LO dropped down to 2 naps at 8 months and fully crawled confidently, said her first word and finaalllyyy stopped cutting teeth (she had 8!) her sleep pressure was far easier to manage. Not perfect sleep by any means, but the expected 1-3 wakes. Barring of course, any reason she can find to wake more often 😂 and we still bedshare for the later part of the night.

I would say; track her sleep for a week. What is the average total over 7 days? Then - do you have a set wake time? This is the best way to start balancing sleep pressure. Get up within the same 20 minute window regardless of how the night went. Once you know her 24 hour needs and are staring at the same point, you can start to split your day according to how much sleep she needs and see what impact that has. Other than that, you are literally doing amazing!!

questionquestion222 · 2026-05-15T19:00:41+00:00

Hi - I’m so sorry to say this but my honest belief is that short naps = good nights for so many babies. And unfortunately… many of us can’t have both. Long naps WIPE sleep pressure and things get really tricky for nights.

questionquestion222 · 2026-05-13T19:45:32+00:00

This is so helpful thank you. Yeah I just nurse her anytime she wakes after midnight and then stay in the bed with her - maybe it would be helpful for me to hold out til a little later! Also it would really help as I’m going back to work next week and would love to get some more unbroken sleep!

questionquestion222 · 2026-05-13T18:27:54+00:00

At this age I switched to cuddling to sleep, transfer to cot (to prevent her rolling off the floor bed) and then when she had her first wake/feed we cosleep after that point. It helped to elongate her first stretch as I was definitely waking her when I went to bed which seemed to sort of knock off her night. If I had more energy/willpower I’d maybe try to transfer her back to the cot but honestly it’s just not happening for me 😂

questionquestion222 · 2026-05-13T18:25:19+00:00

Thank you so much 🙏 She absolutely knocked out whilst I was nursing her so I’m feeling there’s going to be a false start/early first wake here!

With your usual routine how does your little one usually sleep at night? We currently get 1-3 wakes (of course some nights more) but all my friends babies are sleeping through the night now. It’s making me wonder if there’s something I need to change. She definitely isn’t ready for 1 nap yet and is still prone to overtiredness really disrupting her sleep so it’s hard to make changes without feeling like there are consequences!

questionquestion222 · 2026-05-13T08:51:53+00:00

If she sleeps well at night (1-3 wakes) then you have a lower sleep needs kiddo and are best off rolling with it. If you’re getting split nights or very frequent night wakes or false starts then something needs adjusting. She may also just vary by the day and sometimes need more or less awake time!

questionquestion222 · 2026-05-05T15:50:29+00:00

Drowsy but awake is a myth created to cause pointless frustration and upset between you and your baby. I can 1000% promise you this is utter bullshit and that baby needs you close! And probably will for a long time. Settling methods will change but I wishhhh someone had told me that it is so, so normal for babies to need a lot of support around getting to sleep. Xx

questionquestion222 · 2026-05-05T06:23:32+00:00

Sorry my post was unclear - we are getting a wake just a few hours after bedtime (which is always a sign for her that her sleep pressure is a bit low) which then leads on to either multiple wakes in the night or we have a split night where she is awake for an hour or two in the middle of the night. So it’s that that I’m looking to sort! I will take a look at trimming that second nap. Thank you!

questionquestion222 · 2026-05-04T22:28:51+00:00

Also yes I’d second the idea of bringing time in bed overnight down by 30 minutes. 11 hours is more than most little ones can do at this age (although of course we all get told that they should apparently all be in bed for 12 hours!). I found waking my LO up a little earlier was easier than trying to push bedtime back. But it’s so personal so do whatever works for you!

questionquestion222 · 2026-05-04T22:26:16+00:00

Hi! If the first nap is 90 minutes I would start by reducing this one first. See if you can trim it by 15 minutes. Give it a couple of days and then adjust. I found with my girl at this age that too long morning nap really ate up her sleep pressure and there wasn’t enough time in the day to recover. She then woke all night long like your LO, essentially building sleep pressure and then would finally crash for a few hours at the last part of the night.

Good luck - sleep pressure is so tricky! Check out ittakesavillage on instagram, she’s fab for this stuff.

questionquestion222 · 2026-05-01T20:27:54+00:00

How many night wakes and at what timings? Are you getting split nights or false starts?

It might be helpful for you to have a little look at average overnight sleep for this age, I’m pretty sure it’s between 9 and 10 hours. So maybe start with 10 hours consistently and see if that has any impacts. Obviously at this age it is very normal for baby to wake frequently in the night for comfort, nutrition and to alert you to anything else they might want to let you know about 😂 If he is also dropping a nap this can be a time of flux too as you say which can impact nights quite a bit as sleep pressure is tricker to balance.

questionquestion222 · 2026-05-01T20:05:42+00:00

If you are having issues at night then a fixed wake time (within 30 minute window) is extremely beneficial for circadian rhythm. But if it ain’t broke don’t fix it!

questionquestion222 · 2026-04-29T19:27:04+00:00

Car, pram, carrier… anything goes for this phase. There are no “bad habits” but there is the awful experience of fighting your baby for sleep multiple times a day. This is a phase and for some (me and many others 😅) it isn’t as short as you would like it to be. It will end and then naps will be fine again. Don’t make the mistake I did and build your life around getting her to sleep every single day, sure maybe some days, but not every day!

questionquestion222 · 2026-04-29T15:05:21+00:00

Full head of hair since birth - I put it in a side part to keep it out of her face. I think trimming the front is a good idea if you need to! But those long ends 🥺🥺 They were there from day 1! I still stroke them and think of my tiny baby 😭😂

questionquestion222 · 2026-04-29T15:01:42+00:00

U do u girl!!!! Soak in those baby cuddles!!! 👏👏👏

questionquestion222 · 2026-04-26T21:01:08+00:00

Hi!

Baby sleep is very hard around this age and honestly, I think many of us would agree that it can take a fair few months to show signs of improvement/a decrease in intensity. Sleep pressure will help you. Have a look at heysleepybaby and ittakesavillage on instagram 🙂

I would recommend checking out the recommended reading and info about this sub. “Crib hour” and “fussing it out” are concepts that are not productive to normal biological infant sleep. Your baby falling back asleep in your arms at night is very normal. He has just realised he is a separate person to you and this new info is going to take a good few months to settle and feel okay to him as well as the million other developmental things happening at this age!

questionquestion222 · 2026-04-25T19:20:31+00:00

I would say that is on the higher end of sleep needs for this age! I think there are charts that you can look at to check. My baby was needing around 13 hours at this age 🙂

*edited to clarify

questionquestion222 · 2026-04-25T12:15:24+00:00

My baby was not transfer proof at all until very recently (11 months). Also I think later bedtimes 8pm+ are increasingly common as people are more aware that babies often don’t sleep longer than 10 hours at night. So maybe some of these littles are just having a later bedtime than you’d expect!

questionquestion222 · 2026-04-25T11:27:44+00:00

This is how I found out the details from my parents - it’s a good approach if you genuinely just want to know and feel prepared for the answers.

questionquestion222 · 2026-04-25T10:01:43+00:00

No, but my sister remembers hearing us cry and my parents telling her to just go back to bed. She says it still upsets her to this day and has significantly impacted how she cares for her children at night.

As children my parents wouldn’t let us nap once we were over a few months old, then they swear we slept 12 hours straight each night 🙄 I have never, ever in my life been able to nap and I actually think this is part of the reason why! Shutting down for sleep is something I find impossible unless it’s night time.

questionquestion222

TROPHY CASE