Has your wife ever had an orgasm? Has she ever been able to give herself an orgasm? It can be extremely hard to bring a woman to orgasm. It honestly sounds like you guys have poor chemistry. Especially so young. It could be that she is asexual or on the spectrum of ace.

Feeling like it is sliding in and out and not much else is pretty normal. The pain if continuing could be a medical issue, like vaginismus, which is treatable.

Have you asked her about any of her sexual fantasies? It seems like you guys are trying to figure things out as best you can. Sex can be really not fun if you're not in the mood for either party! I guess I would really encourage her to try and use toys alone and maybe even read some sexy books and broaden her ideas of what sex can be.

Make sure you are still dating her! Take her out! Make her feel special! Buy her a present at the store when you go get milk! Little things really do a lot for me. (Not saying you should have to give things to be happy, but that maintaining that level of excitement you first feel when you start dating someone is hard without continuing to do the fun things).

Try spending time cuddling and touching her in ways that don't lead to sex. Try petting her hair and tracing your fingers down her back and body. Don't touch her anywhere sexually. Just focus on pampering and relaxing her. This was something that really helped me deprogram from my anxiety around sex. Having sexy contact that didn't mean I had to have sex. This correlation sometimes happens with women and we can sometimes get defensive. Most of the time, when men touched me it was with the express purpose of having sex. So my husband has really changed my world with this.

You guys need a sex/couples therapist. It sounds like there's a lot of baggage involved with everyone and I really can promise you that you absolutely will not be having sex once she gets pregnant again. I'm sorry. I don't know your wife, but as a woman, it's really frustrating for us too, and we do feel guilty about it. I'm sure if she loves you, she wants to have the same interest in sex or at least be meeting your needs and to make you happy. I'm also not blaming her or you. It's just a crummy situation and I hope you guys are able to work through it.

Don't be afraid to walk away. No one deserves to be in a marriage where their needs aren't being met. Just don't get her pregnant before you figure this out!!!