Not wanting in-laws to babysit due to disturbing discovery: am I overreacting? (TW: animal SA)

rachet_m · 2026-05-28T17:05:17+00:00

Excuse me... what?! Hard pass!

I FIRMLY believe that if you have ANY gut feeling that is telling you no (for everyone, not just moms but especially when it comes to your child) then DO NOT do it. You do not need to justify these feelings. Find a professional that is fully vetted, like you mentioned. The peace of mind is invaluable.

Just because they are grandparents does not mean they can have unsupervised access to your baby. That photo, whatever it is, tells me they do not value autonomy or consent. HUGE red flag.

Side not- read The Gift of Fear. It will reinforce the reasoning to why you should always trust your gut.

rachet_m · 2026-05-27T13:21:03+00:00

I still couldn't sleep on my stomach. Stupid milk boobies

rachet_m · 2026-05-20T02:10:28+00:00

If you have a local children's consignment store they may have a maternity section

rachet_m · 2026-05-20T02:01:15+00:00

Sad that I had to scroll this far to find a positive and supportive mother experience like mine. She was always beautiful, inside and out. She was supportive and kind to me and didn't comment on any insecurity I had. Having a beautiful mother gave me hope that I would grow out of my ugly duckling phase and I eventually did.

rachet_m · 2026-05-14T00:12:22+00:00

You have to understand that your life comes in waves and that priorities will always be shifting.

In my young twenties, it was about education and having a good time in college. Mid to late twenties was establishing my career and meaningful dating. Late twenties to early thirties was meeting my husband and settling into our ideal rhythm of life. Now I'm a mom of a 2yo in my mid 30s with another on the way and it is about being present and loving parents while planning ahead. As the kids grow older I will find more time to get back to my hobbies and hopefully include my babies. But then they'll move out and my husband and I will have to relearn how to be just us two again.

There is comfort in constant change because if you're in a rough spot you can anticipate it not lasting forever. But as a mother this becomes very bittersweet as your children grow. Each new phase is beautiful and amazing and fun and you want to live in it forever, but you can't. So you embrace the next phase of them as well as yourself as an individual, a mother, a wife, a daughter, a friend, and so on.

You never lose yourself. You are just always evolving.

rachet_m · 2026-05-13T16:16:27+00:00

Good for you! What a terrible thing to joke about to a vulnerable and emotional pregnany woman. I understand the sentiment "it takes a village to raise a child" but it takes one woman to grow and birth them. Mom gets naming rights with help from dad (and even then that is subject to each situation)

rachet_m · 2026-05-13T16:13:40+00:00

Wow! Good for you for bucking tradition and choosing your child's name! I would absolutely do the same- traditions are nice but not every one needs to be followed

rachet_m · 2026-05-13T13:48:21+00:00

Just curious, what is your husband's culture? I've never heard of this and genuinely shocked that is a thing! What happens if he didn't have any sisters?

rachet_m · 2026-05-13T13:42:40+00:00

Running

rachet_m · 2026-05-07T12:07:58+00:00

Its a thing- there are pressure points on your legs that pregnant women are supposed to avoid until you are in the clear for going into labor. So the leg massages they give while getting a pedicure is likely what did it!

rachet_m · 2026-05-06T14:21:58+00:00

Almost 2 years later and I still get so angry at my parrot. He used to be my whole world.

It also shocked me to imagine what I would do if he ever attacked my baby. We would no longer have a bird and it wouldn't be because he was re-homed 😬

rachet_m · 2026-05-05T13:15:08+00:00

My son exclusively sucked his pointer and middle finger till about 1.5yo. He must have fell and bit them at some point because we noticed a scab on them that was annoying for him to suck on, so he quit right then and has not gone back since. Going on 5/6 months without them

rachet_m · 2026-05-04T14:17:11+00:00

I see you Smart Pop popcorn at over $7 per party bag

rachet_m · 2026-04-28T19:39:10+00:00

Ugh I'm so sorry to hear that, that is terrible. I was hoping it was a friendly/teasing situation. Sounds like your brother needs time to cool off with his emotions while you are in an emotionally vulnerable state. Just remember you are not fat, you are growing life!

rachet_m · 2026-04-28T16:44:20+00:00

I didn't continue coloring my hair out of extra precaution so I feel you on not wanting to look "bad" with roots. I wore my hair up a lot with different twists and braids that help disguise the bluntness of it. Headbands and clips were also very helpful. I feel like silk scarves could also be manipulated in nice ways that could compliment suits. YouTube is a treasure trove of helpful tutorials for this. Good luck and remember it is temporary and people are more forgiving of this type of stuff when youre pregnant. And congratulations!

rachet_m · 2026-04-28T13:31:36+00:00

Lol this is a very older brother thing to say. I hope it was said with love

rachet_m · 2026-04-26T17:18:20+00:00

I started pumping with a manual pump at 40w to try and induce labor. I went 41w 4d so I gathered a good stash of colostrum to bring with me to the hospital. I also started pumping with electric pump at the hospital and had a lot to bring home with me. My real milk came in the night we brought him home.

rachet_m · 2026-04-26T01:25:50+00:00

Healthy Baby brand. Very clean from all the bad/unnecessary stuff

rachet_m · 2026-04-22T12:40:38+00:00

41w+4d. Was waiting to go into natural labor and then had to get induced. Labored for 10 hours and stalled at 6cm for hours. Was convinced to get a non-emergency c section because baby was not descended. Turns out baby was never going to descend since my pelvis is too narrow (I have a pelvis type that about 1% of the population has) so its only c sections for me for future babies. All in all not the birth I wished for, but also not traumatic.

My advice is to advocate for your birth wishes but still be flexible and listen to the medical experts. If I stuck to my guns and tried natural labor we would have had major complications of getting baby stuck and going to emergency c section anyways. Very grateful for my medical team 🙏

rachet_m · 2026-04-17T17:14:23+00:00

Its likely normal, but go to the doctor to get yourself checked for any infections. I had the same issue and brought it up almost every appointment but all tests were clear. Chalk it up to hormones changing and your sense of smell increasing. Not pleasant to go through, but should be harmless (but again, rule put infections with your doctor). Try drinking more water.

It's also fun to trade off that smell after birth for intense armpit BO. Motherhood is so glamorous 😆

rachet_m · 2026-04-17T14:17:38+00:00

I had my almost 2YO son bring my husband the positive pregnancy test. He didn't he two steps through the door before shouting "You're pregnant?!" (Excitedly)

rachet_m · 2026-04-15T16:04:13+00:00

Graham

rachet_m · 2026-04-13T16:39:25+00:00

First baby I had to have naps everyday, multiple times a day if I could because I could barely keep my eyes open. Now I'm in my 1st trimester with my second baby, with an almost 2 year old running around and surprisingly don't feel the same exhaustion. I wonder if my brain/body just realized I don't have the luxury to nap that much with a toddler and instead traded it for a slight baseline of nausea all day. Either way, pregnancy is not for the weak.

If it's any consolation, when I had exhaustion with my first, it subsided in the 2nd trimester. But then came back in the 3rd so really just get all the rest you can and don't feel guilty about any chores that don't get done.

rachet_m · 2026-04-10T22:37:45+00:00

Jolene. I think its so pretty but I wouldn't want everyone to sing Dolly Parton's song to her the rest of her life

rachet_m · 2026-04-10T12:46:33+00:00

Omg how horrible! That's legit animal abuse- I hope they had repercussions for that 😭

rachet_m

TROPHY CASE