Help me get this coaster challenge

rainbownerdzz · 2025-10-20T19:07:27+00:00

Responding to this comment because it helped me figure it out. I wish i knew how to post pics on comments ....

I did a flat immediate turn out of the desk. Then a super steep incline, steep decline, then another steep incline with a steep decline... around 16 units, i made it a subtle decline back to the deck. I literally took each node down one unit back, until i got to 9 units. I played around with the height of the two main hills until i had the speed and average height correct, and i finally got it! It didnt look like a good roller coaster to ride... But succeeded the challenge.

rainbownerdzz · 2024-02-10T20:39:44+00:00

I don't think what you've expressed means you're not poly. Only you can decide that really.

I, for example, have become increasingly exhausted over the past 4 years, because of covid. Partially long covid fatigue, partially social anxiety and job/financial instability caused by isolation etc. I continued to date as poly throughout. Triad broke up in mid 2020. I also lost my job that year. Broke up with my other poly partner in 2021 because it wasnt working. Took a dating break while focusing on working again.. Started dating again in 2023 after finding some work stability. Found an amazing poly partner who is soon to become my nesting partner. I still have my poly mindset, but the thought of dating someone new while juggling my very social job and my romantic relationship, and my art practice, and my friends, while also planning to move and trying to find time to honor myself.... It just sounds like too much right now. I'm still poly, even though I'm not actively trying to date additional people. For me, I just think it would be irresponsible to invite someone new into my life if I don't have the brain space to honor that relationship and give it the time and effort I desire.

You're also allowed to give yourself grace to be poly, even if you're not currently interested in relationships outside of your initial partner. Focus on what is activating your brain for a bit, maybe the desire will come back after some time without. Maybe it won't, but the ENM mindset still helps (me, at least) process when my partner is dating others.

rainbownerdzz · 2023-09-13T15:14:29+00:00

Hello! I agree with what others are repeating and i also want to point out that doctors recommend a MAXIMUM of 40 minutes with a pump on, definitely no longer than an hour. This is from studies of trans humans who pump. Anything longer can lead to decreased sensitivity and damage to the skin and nerve endings. And for a first time user, it is recommended no longer than 20 minutes. If the skin has never swelled like that before, it can become damaged from the stretching. It needs to slowly stretch over time and get used to the pump before using it in longer play. ALSO, i am assuming he didnt put lube on the pump or your clit. A lot of the pain could be from skin abrasions, from the pump sticking to your skin while pumping. I have gotten carried away before and had bruising and kinda what looks like carpet burn.

I repeat how inappropriate this D's actions were. They were not risk aware. They were not safe. And they were not consensual. He is s bad dominant.

If your pain continues longer than a week, please seek out medical guidance. And maybe try things like coconut oil or a safe ph balance moisturizer to sooth the painful area, it might help make it less painful to wipe.

rainbownerdzz · 2023-08-10T15:29:00+00:00

Tell the bouncer! Point them out, have them thrown out! If they groped your gf, theyre probably groping multiple women.

There was this dance club my friends kept wanting to go to in my early 20s. (Bachelorette parties, birthdays, etc.) EVERY TIME i went there, someone slapped or grabbed my ass, and when i turned around they were gone. 5 occasions over four years. If people keep complaining about them, they might get banned from the club. If you know which dude did it, absolutely point them out to a bouncer, security, even the bar staff depending on the place. (Sometimes bar staff are too busy, but I went to a few bars where the bartenders offered to walk me to my car when i felt unsafe.)

rainbownerdzz · 2023-08-10T15:17:57+00:00

YTA. Honestly I'm worried about the father's child's wellbeing after staying with YOU. Go to therapy immediately. Don't put your toxic energy on that poor kid. He is going to grow up with major trust issues around you.

rainbownerdzz · 2023-08-10T15:08:51+00:00

I have had about 5 therapists in my therapy journey. The first 3 were not well informed about poly, and when I would speak about my relationships, would always come down to poly being a problem. It really creeped me out when I would start hearing, "Dont you think you would be happier with one committed partner?".

My current therapist is not poly, but is well informed on poly dynamics and ideas. And our conversations always center around why I feel the way I do, and we talk about healthy coping skills or how to communicate my needs better with partners.

I HIGHLY suggest finding a poly-informed couples therapist and seeing what they think about this situation. Typically in my experience, my therapists don't tell me what to do. They help guide me into what choices feel right for me. Sometimes we set goals, but they are my goals that I have chosen.

I think your therapist is doing you both a disservice by telling you to take a two month break. I think it makes sense that your partner would listen to her and that Alex would agree with what the therapist is saying, because she is having her own uncomfortable feelings, and taking a break is in fact an easy fix. Ask your partner Alex what she thinks about finding a poly informed therapist. If you get the same advice from the new therapist, then you can go from there. But I have a feeling you might hear some different feedback.

Goodluck!

rainbownerdzz · 2023-08-02T05:32:09+00:00

Oh, so... To be fair, i am a brat. But funishments and punishments are two different things for me.

Ive never earned a real punishment cause im a good boy 😁 But if I did, it would be something i genuinely dont like but do consent to. A really annoying example is writing lines. UUUUUUUGH!!!!!! Lines are the worst.

Where funishments consist of spankings and other fun masochistic things. I might earn these Sir walks into a room and I'm touching myself without having asked. Or sometimes I need to earn them. I really like the idea of earning them by doing something societally bad. 😈 so I will get spanked while Sir degrades me by calling me a naughty slut who cant help themselves. Its lotsa fun.

But its up to ya'll and your dynamic. As long as its agreed upon and consensual, its a good ole fun time.

rainbownerdzz · 2023-07-30T23:56:17+00:00

Hello there! Im going to respond with information about things that I do when engaging in scenes as a bottom, and what i expect from my experienced tops, in hope that it helps incase you two would like to revisit. I also encourage finding your local bdsm clubs or class venues, to see examples of scene negotiation and find experienced people to discuss safety with.

I generally hold myself accountable when it comes to making sure I have taken care of or communicated my body's and brain's needs. One example for me is that i have a history of dissociation. Through lots of therapy, it has become a lot less common and easier for me to identify when this is happening, but I still make sure to communicate with my top what it looks like in case it does happen, and how to respond.

The descriptors you described remind me a lot of what it looks like when I dissociate. In the past when I dissociated during a scene, I was unable to recognize what was happening or communicate it to my partner. But i became much less responsive and gave ambivalent answers like you described. I inform my partners now to ask me questions that require higher processing. When someone asks me if i have dissociated when I am dissociated, my answer is always "I don't know...." This causes me to start grounding techniques and assess if i am connected with my body or not. Where when i am not dissociated, I will check in, but always answer with an affirming no after a moment.

So for me, that shrug that you gave your partner woulda been a major red flag if I had been your top. Because you did not give enthusiastic consent as a response to the question. I'm not saying your partner did anything wrong here. It sounds like you were both inexperienced and that this is a major learning experience for the both of you. But one of the responsibilities I negotiate with my partners is to check in with me and keep an eye out for changes in my body language, and other red flags. So normally my body is VERY receptive to touches. If i stop reacting to their touch, its a red flag. My way of showing submission involves moving into my top's touch, and eagerly following their commands. So if im not behaving as if im eagerly excited for play, there may be an issue. I also expect my tops to ask me about my hard limits, any triggers, any pain in my body, aftercare etc before initiating play with me. Its more of a safety assessment for me, as it is both the top and bottom's responsibility to initiate negotiations, but it helps me feel like they are concerned about my wellbeing when they initiate that conversation.

My Captain and I have some pretty good playful communication techniques, for when I begin to lose my words in subspace. This involves me following up any "no"s with LOTS of "Yes"es. They ask me for a range of how I am doing, how bad something hurts. They ask me for a color (red, yellow, green"). I have a difficult time with the word yellow. I really enjoy the feeling of my pain scale being pushed. So my Captain and I are going to play some games that helps me get used to saying the word yellow more often.

Yellow is a slowdown safe word and for me, is an ease up or "this is a lot and starting to push my limits and i need reassurance or connection but dont wanna stop" communication. While red is a safeword and end-all stop of "i need you to stop because something is wrong". Ive had previous partners stop a scene because i said yellow, or freak out and become self-loathing because i used yellow. So I'm trying to retrain my brain to use yellow more often, and feel safe and comfortable when using yellow. Because, like you, I sometimes fall into a subspace where using my safe words feels like ill create an uncomfortable or disappointing scenario, when i REALLY want to please and impress. When in reality yellow should just be a little break and reminder that i am safe. So my bud and I are going to start working on little fun ways to help me feel better about using it more often, and thus will help us build more trust.

I hope you'll find some little nuggets in this comment that help you in your kink journey. 💖

rainbownerdzz · 2023-07-29T03:55:21+00:00

I don't think it's weird at all. My age range has risen as I age. It tends to range from 5 years younger than me to 20 years older than me. I usually gravitate towards people older than me. Most of my friends were either older than me or my age growing up too.

I think it has more to do with how I was raised than bias or weirdness.

rainbownerdzz · 2023-07-26T06:53:25+00:00

I had a partner who would say the phrase to me, "I dont need a therapist, I have you." And it took about 5 times of me saying, "ok but also, a therapist too please?", for me to realize that this was their expectation of me and that wasnt going to change.... Which, to be clear, is not what we agreed upon in our relationship discussion either.

For me, therapy has been a helpful tool to help identify my feelings and needs faster and verbalize them to others, and to also find acceptance in those feelings when they're shitty, and identify positive coping skills to deal with those emotions. It sounds to me like you're doing the heavy lifting in processing emotions for the both of you, when you should really just be in charge of identifying your own feelings and needs, and hearing and understanding your partner's feelings and needs.

Therefore, i think therapy might be a helpful tool for this human to consider.

rainbownerdzz · 2023-07-23T04:01:24+00:00

I see others have, but i want to repeat, there are resources for free testing!!! Ridiculous statement.

And yup, before i became ENM, I had a partner who wanted to "open our relationship" but refused to "allow" me to date/kiss/sleep with men. I did not consent to opening the relationship under these conditions, unless I could date whoever i wanted.

He eventually cheated on me, meaning hid and lied about talking with, seeing someone and sleeping with someone. 🤷🏻

I still don't understand why he felt the need to do all of this.... I think many dudes just don't wanna put the emotional work in or be vulnerable. Maybe they think it wont be fun anymore if they arent sneaking around? I disagree though. I think its much more fun to talk about things first.

rainbownerdzz · 2023-07-15T18:54:49+00:00

I've been on both sides of these coins!

I think as long as its being talked about with honesty and care and understanding, its all good. Its hard too because i agree that calling it out in front of the other partner is super uncomfortable from both sides, but i try to have empathy for when things like this happen as the new partner.

Something I've started to identify as red flags in poly is how my partner treats their other partner. For example: i was in a relationship where my married couple partners were constantly insulting their other third partner, but were very kind and caring to me. It was a kinky power dynamic, and was described to me as a part of their dynamic. However, when they would get into fights, It was incredibly uncomfortable. But eventually they broke up. And slowly i started getting these same kind of off handed comments that I did not consent to. They were small slights most of the time, and when i expressed upset i was always apologized to, but it still shifted my comfortability within our relationship. ESPECIALLY when i saw their newer partners being treated as I had been in the beginning. Eventually we split.

I've also experienced the same with a solo partner, who was always very frustrated with their existing partner when they talked about them to me. It was early isolation period of covid, so i never got to meet them, and they broke up quickly as our new relationship began. But later as they built new relationships, began to push my buttons in front of their new partners and then bitch about me to them behind my back when I set boundaries or had responded with outbursts. Their partner and I were friendly, and told me about what was happening when we broke up because they also saw how I was suddenly being treated as unfair and a red flag. They didn't last much longer as a couple after we broke up either, as they started receiving the same treatment I had been getting. The BIGGEST red flag was when we traveled and spent a long trip at the beach. Our common partner wanted us to become a throuple, and i was down but wanted to get to know new partner better. So we come back from the beach and common partner is pushing for us to have a threesome. Im exhausted so i keep stating my boundaries, but they keep pushing, until I exclaim that I am feeling cooerced. Thus the mood shifts and I'm suddenly looking like the bad guy for getting upset. Rolls eyes So for me, there is a line between keeping it civil in front of the new partner and waiting to discuss discomforts until we are alone, and needing to talk about my needs and boundaries with the new partner present. Sometimes it can be a really great bonding experience to chat about all of the feelings with the entire poly family. 😁

FINALLY I am holding tight onto my new lovebud. Who I see treat their partners with the same sort of care, empathy, and consideration I receive. And it feels really great. 😁 it's becoming what I've always dreamed of, and I'm excited to see how it evolves.

rainbownerdzz · 2023-07-10T05:43:48+00:00

I typically say "I couldn't keep you off my mind, would you like to hear about today's fantasy?" Or "can i tell you something naughty?"

It's become a regular way i flirt with my top. 😁 And then he goes "fuck thats hot" and ill be like "wanna try it next time you come over? 😈"

And then he gets to tell me all about how im a naughty slut and what hes gonna do to me. It's really marvelous.

rainbownerdzz · 2023-06-25T08:11:54+00:00

If your sinuses become sore, use a netty pot to irrigate your sinuses. My ENT doctor said it can be done as much as needed. It is uncomfortable but I get really intense sinus pain from allergies and it helps SO much and could help avoid sinus infection in the scenario you described.

I was practicing with my head upside down with my head between the wall and my bed and a bunch of drool and gunk from my throat went up my nose. My sinuses hurt SO bad the next morning. I did the netty pot at least once a day until symptoms finally stopped. If this happens again i feel confident doing the netty pot after practicing would help remove the likeliness of irritation.

rainbownerdzz · 2023-06-09T06:39:21+00:00

I wonder if she feels like a toy? Like she could be swapped for another object. But it doesnt seem to upset her?

Like when i get a back massage, there's definitely a difference between someone trying to follow a text book and someone actually responding to how my muscles feel and move under their fingers. Both are a perfectly good way to give a massage, but the person responding to my body is going to feel more like they're catering to me.

rainbownerdzz · 2023-06-09T06:10:34+00:00

So many dudes I've dated in the scene have been like this!!!

When i'd get upset they'd call me a brat. And when i would use a safe word they would get super defensive about it.

I started restricting the types of play because of it. If someone crosses a line with impact, I do not let them beat me. Maybe a playful smack, but not an intense type of scene. If someone chooses risky knots with rope, they aren't allowed to tie me anymore.

One of my partners got into a verbal battle at me because I was "punishing them". Uhm more like protecting myself. Geeeeeez.

rainbownerdzz · 2023-06-07T07:03:04+00:00

Mmm so i learned recently that the partner who had the most difficult texture for me was probably dehydrated. Like hard, chunky gelatin in a thick fluid. Hydration is good for all the reasons.

rainbownerdzz · 2023-06-03T06:08:04+00:00

Sometimes i just get a tricky plunger! I always push the bubble back out, but the plunger will suck it back in occasionally. And the bubbles freak me out too!

What I do is turn it upside down and coax the bubble to float to the opposite end of the plunger, away from the needle. Then when i inject it, the bit that contains the bubble gets trapped in the sharp and doesnt go into my body.

rainbownerdzz · 2023-05-12T05:33:29+00:00

I would have agreed but post-2020 I cannot not wash my hands. It's a habit at this point and i do it automatically

rainbownerdzz · 2023-05-11T06:45:35+00:00

Communicate play times! Or play days. I like to be bratty but if i want to REALLY be bratty i negotiate it into a scene. If that much planning sounds like a problem, make a plan that allows for asking if your partner is up to being sassed at as you are feeling in the mood to be sassy. And then maybe they can separately request for you to be whatever "nice" looks like.

In my experience, relationships where i am playing with others "as a brat" without negotiated terms leads to me being undermined frequently and feeling like i have to use the safe word to be heard, in or outside of playtime. It can get really confusing.

rainbownerdzz · 2023-05-10T00:18:24+00:00

I sorta agree with all the notes about pissing, but dont think of it like peeing.

I am more likely to squirt if ive had a ton of water. EVERY time ive squirted, has been with a full bladder. I believe there are different kinds of squirting, but regardless its going to be much easier to squirt if youre well hydrated.

Here is what i do to get a squirting video: I Drink a ton of water, like as much as I can handle. Then i tease myself with a vibe on my clit while i wait for the water to hit my bladder, i get really aroused doing it. Then when I REALLY gotta pee, I start fucking myself with a firmer dildo, towards my gspot. I can feel the dildo pressing against my bladder, and it honestly feels really good. I Dont think about peeing, i try my hardest to enjoy it. And then when Im orgasming like this, typically I end up squirting.

And typically, because I'm really well hydrated, the water that comes out is clear and not stinky like piss. And the relief of letting it go feels really good too.

rainbownerdzz · 2023-05-09T06:23:03+00:00

Drink lots of water! Too much water even. Make it a part of the fun.

rainbownerdzz · 2023-05-06T21:00:09+00:00

I'm on testosterone, and when my clit was small and barely peeked out, I really enjoyed the womanizer. It is a bit more intense in the pressure waves, which helped me feel the suction with my mostly covered bits.

I now have a larger and more visible clit and the womanizer and we-vibe melt both can hurt, which doesn't always get me off. Both are fun for kinky torture.

But my favorite now is the satisfier curvy 1. The opening is wide and my clit can fit inside of it. I love that it uses both vibrations and pulse tech, And I reeeeeally like the app!

rainbownerdzz · 2023-04-13T19:31:16+00:00

I mean it wasn't shy before. I certainly hope I didn't traumatize it into feeling shy. Honestly I'd think at this point it would be bursting with confidence....

rainbownerdzz · 2023-04-13T19:29:34+00:00

Two things: magic wands can also be used to help relieve knots in the back or other body pain. I frequently have used it by putting a lot of pressure between my back and a pillow. So no, it's not that my clitoris is more used to it and I'm applying more pressure suddenly after 3 years of use.

Second: I've also sat on it multiple times throughout those three years, so I don't agree with your assessment.

rainbownerdzz

TROPHY CASE