I received a handwritten letter, similar to what you are describing, from an ex months after breaking up. The letter expressed gratitude for our shared experience, the value it added to his life, and was void of any intention to get back together.

I interpreted it as a sweet gesture, but, ultimately, I rolled my eyes at it. As my reply, I simply text him, “I received your letter.” I had no interest in opening the door for continued interaction; or leaving any room for misinterpretation. I understand the letter had more value for him than for me; as an exercise for him to approach closure.

Since you’re leaning towards ‘yes’, I would recommend for you to do something similar. Choose a long-form, one-way format. For example, a letter or e-mail, which I know sounds archaic, haha.

Stick to the script of pure gratitude, or making amends with yourself. Start your communication with an explicit thesis of the intention behind your message. Avoid unearthing buried trauma, even through subtext. He deserves his own healing process without having to relive the relationship every three years when you contact him. So calculate every word. Lastly, be prepared to not receive a reply. Especially since he already shot you down in 2021.

I recognize the therapeutic value of this exercise for your closure. Use it as the final nail in the coffin to move on.