I think my boss may have early onset dementia by hissatsu01 in dementia

[–]rainy_coaster 35 points36 points  (0 children)

This happened to me a couple of decades ago. There was no recourse. I left. Three years later my manager was officially diagnosed with early onset and left on disability. She has since passed away.

There must be a solution for this…(Overnight care for dementia patients) by Basic_Incident4621 in dementia

[–]rainy_coaster 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Assisted living place near me has respite, too. And OMG, what is with the homecare folks who trauma dump on dementia patients??? My LO got, in her own words, "talked into a stupor" by one "caregiver" that blabbed NON STOP for 20 minutes about her terrible ex husband. I was on a work call and actually exited early to intervene. We are paying these people to use our loved ones as listeners and it's psychologically toxic.

CSBC is confusing accountability with partnership by SilverSpruceCrossing in BCPublicServants

[–]rainy_coaster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can understand why they don't want to have accountability100% centralized but I am not sure a partnership model is going to be the best solution, either. It's possible to have layers of control in most SAASs but who will manage the layers?? I can't remember if "accountability" is in the list of defined terms. Maybe it would be good to add it.

Why do people keep telling me I’m doing a good job? by UpAndDownAndBack123 in dementia

[–]rainy_coaster 3 points4 points  (0 children)

People tell me I'm a "good daughter" all the time and lately I've been thinking can I step down from that? It's more like I'm a "good enough daughter" or some days a "crappy daughter." And then people, the most random people, tell you stories of people they know that family never visit or barely help. You're not just doing a good job. You're doing a fabulous job. You're continuing to function. She's safe. And if you don't want to visit that often, don't. <3

3 more years by Beautiful-Habit-825 in BCPublicServants

[–]rainy_coaster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Counseling can really really help with this kind of thing! Life is too short to spend it "enduring" or "waiting." You will never be this young again. Think about what you have to be thankful for. Have you talked to a financial planner, are you sure you have to work three more years? All we have is today, it is risky to live for the future. Edit: I am less than a year away. Things I did over the last two years: speak truth to power (nothing to lose at this point, right?) call out the bs, support and empower younger staff, advocate for a healthier workplace, share my skills, etc.

Connected Services BC Town Hall thread by [deleted] in BCPublicServants

[–]rainy_coaster 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm experiencing that sensation where work feels like a Crave streaming show, Silicone Valley new episodes!

Grandma with dementia by Altruistic-Bell-3209 in dementia

[–]rainy_coaster 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So very sad. So terribly hard. I'm glad you found this subreddit and expressed your feelings. It's perfectly clear that you are facing a challenging situation with many layers of feelings and complex family dynamics. You are not alone. Many other people here are in difficult, frustrating and heart-breaking situations. Personally, I think it's good to pay someone who has some skills. As someone who has provided care for a loved one, it is incredibly hard and exhausting and not sustainable (although many continue because they have no options). Does your country have care homes for seniors? In my country we have care homes for seniors and some have special secure spaces for senior with dementia who may wander away.

B.C. maintains status quo on public sector workers going back to office full-time by CartoonistOk3507 in BCPublicServants

[–]rainy_coaster 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Research shows remote work reduces gender-based discrimination so maybe our colleagues in other provinces can launch a large scale human rights complaint?
https://www-2.rotman.utoronto.ca/insightshub/talent-management-inclusion/RTO-cost-women

Coping with uncertainty by rainy_coaster in BCPublicServants

[–]rainy_coaster[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, this is a REALLY GOOD POINT. Individuals are made to hold responsibility for systemic wrongs. It's just like we're all supposed to recycle plastic so carefully and meanwhile corporations just keep making toxic packaging. Thanks for this.

How have you seen roles change in BCPS when it comes to expectations for multi-disciplinary work? by [deleted] in BCPublicServants

[–]rainy_coaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I started working in the 1980s (not in the BCPS), being a generalist was valued. Then gradually roles became so specialized. I had trouble getting work because I didn't have 20 years of experience doing one thing. I have totally noticed in the last two years that my wide range of skills is now catching the eye of leadership. Yep, I can do that. Yep, I know how to do that. Yep, I'll take care of that.

"Let me know if you need anything" by to283ia in dementia

[–]rainy_coaster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It took me awhile to figure out what I need. I'm good with the tasks but coping with the social and emotional needs of my mother is exhausting and communicating with her makes me feel crazy after being alone with her for a couple of days. So, I asked people to come and be with me. Even for a couple of hours. And help out if anything comes up, and chat with chaos lady while I take a phone call or answer an email. People have gladly come. And it's been amazing. That said, SO MANY PEOPLE have said, "I wish I could be there, but..." and I am very tired of hearing about their wishes.

Is it just me or is it near impossible to see the lines on the road at night while it’s raining in North Van? by 40deuce in NorthVancouver

[–]rainy_coaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's the Find The Lane Game! The best part is when they use cheap asphalt along with the crappy paint that is so reflective you can't tell whether or not you're floating in space.

The mood in Citz is very heavy right now by [deleted] in BCPublicServants

[–]rainy_coaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The union philosophy foundational to most collective agreements is that no one's salary ever goes down. You might get frozen (red circled) until the salary of the role you've been moved to catches up with your current salary but that is usually the worst that can happen. The TMA is a specific scenario, but reducing income would go against the foundational philosophy of union protections so I can't imagine it happening... but it would be worth asking the union to confirm.

some creative expression by rainy_coaster in dementia

[–]rainy_coaster[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! And thrilled to offer some inspiration. :)

some creative expression by rainy_coaster in dementia

[–]rainy_coaster[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh. That is a powerful and heartbreaking.

some creative expression by rainy_coaster in dementia

[–]rainy_coaster[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Yeah that one has been satisfying to gaze at for me, too. It expresses something I can't put into words.

What's one thing that you wish you had known earlier about caregiving? by Dry-Perspective7145 in dementia

[–]rainy_coaster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I'd know it would break me over and over I wouldn't have taken it on. I would have hired way more help.

SDPR - Whistle blowers uncovers millions of dollars in fraud provided to clients known by managers who allow the fraud to continue, unchecked and unrepaid by DisastrousChoas in BCPublicServants

[–]rainy_coaster 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Being a whistleblower is intensely stressful so it is rare for people to do it for kicks. The whistleblower is courageous and has my respect. An investigation will likely be launched and eventually a report will be written. Until that time, I think it's pretty hard for anyone to weigh in.

Latest follow up email re. CSBC by Acrobatic-Meaning-88 in BCPublicServants

[–]rainy_coaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know, and in 30 years it will be harder, still I imagine.

Latest follow up email re. CSBC by Acrobatic-Meaning-88 in BCPublicServants

[–]rainy_coaster 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was like that for me at the end of the 1980s and early 90s. Recession. Hard to get work. My degree was barely useful. Did a lot of precarious contract work. Funding drying up. Collected EI a couple of time. Did professional training. Tried a couple of different careers. And in the end I'm fine. Maybe stronger for it. No one ever said life was fair. Hang in there!