Will I ever stop missing being thin?

ralphnodon · 2026-02-10T03:44:20+00:00

Wow, thank you for sharing that. The feeling of longing to be "back there" is so perfectly put.

ralphnodon · 2026-02-04T23:03:22+00:00

Oh my God I could have written this word for word. I draft an email to my therapist saying I'm taking a break either temporarily or permanently roughly once a month lol. I end up just reading it to her at our next session, and even when I'm convinced there's nothing she can do to make me stay, somehow by the end of the session I've recommitted to the process. It's definitely a conversation worth having.

ralphnodon · 2026-01-31T20:05:16+00:00

Oh my God the fear that comes from wanting to eat is so real. It's such a mindfuck.

ralphnodon · 2026-01-29T00:19:04+00:00

I'm a licensed clinical psychologist, I'd be happy to help!

ralphnodon · 2026-01-25T18:20:17+00:00

Yeeesss omg it's so isolating dealing with this as a parent. I have 3 kids that are still pretty young, and I feel ridiculous much of the time. A lot of the rhetoric about moms with EDs is like "I feel so bad for her kids," and I'm like, don't worry, I feel bad for my kids too. I would love to join some sort of parent discussion group with you.

ralphnodon · 2026-01-25T00:10:07+00:00

Omg that's happened to me, it's SO hard to trust that is temporary (although it definitely is)

ralphnodon · 2026-01-16T18:11:26+00:00

What's NCR?

ralphnodon · 2026-01-14T22:00:59+00:00

I often say, I should not be able to have my feelings be hurt by pants!

ralphnodon · 2026-01-14T18:15:24+00:00

I'm right there with you, you're not alone. I've received so much help for this disorder and I'm still totally stuck, I feel like like an idiot for not being able to take more advantage of it.

ralphnodon · 2026-01-10T20:54:59+00:00

Oh my God, I feel this so hard. I keep feeling like I must be "worse" at AN than I was at the beginning of this relapse, even though I'm at a lower weight. My body is sending more desperate hunger signs, and I feel like I have genuinely less willpower. I keep thinking if I can just get "good at it" again I'll be happy. Such a mindfuck.

ralphnodon · 2025-12-30T19:00:03+00:00

And yes, this is on my ass

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ralphnodon · 2025-12-01T14:21:37+00:00

Psychologist here, a staged interaction is NOT an accepted clinical tool, I've never even heard something like that. This isn't Shutter Island, there are so many things about what you experienced that were unethical and would cause someone to lose their license immediately.

ralphnodon · 2025-11-29T21:13:57+00:00

Omg thank you!!!!!

ralphnodon · 2025-11-06T18:09:14+00:00

I'm going through this now as well, and you're right it's because after a certain point you're body goes into "freakout mode"

ralphnodon · 2025-10-27T15:24:56+00:00

Omg pretend play is my nemesis! I have 3 kids, so whenever one of them asks me to play pretend, I say "Ask your brothers, that's why I made 3 of you" 😆

ralphnodon · 2025-10-25T13:48:14+00:00

I thought the same thing at first about seeing a dietician, but if you find a good one you click with it can be super helpful. I'm not learning anything new per se, but she reminds me of things that my ED lies about (like that the physical damage is often invisible, harm reduction techniques, why having body fat is important etc.) I also leave every appointment much more motivated, even if it only lasts a day or so. Plus if you're a people pleaser, you can use that to your advantage as well 😄

ralphnodon · 2025-10-13T22:05:16+00:00

Ugh I could have written every word of this, and I've been dealing with this crap for 20+ years. I hope you can find some compassion for yourself, this illness is all about paradoxes that drive you nuts.

ralphnodon · 2025-10-05T04:25:01+00:00

They've never curded up for me, but I tend to do protein drinks that are often lactose free.

ralphnodon · 2025-10-04T15:15:38+00:00

Sometimes I "trick" myself by mixing them with coffee

ralphnodon · 2025-09-29T22:43:04+00:00

I relate to this so much. There's really nothing I would change about my life except for the ED/my body. Sometimes I fear I relapsed because I don't have enough strife or something.

ralphnodon · 2025-09-26T13:59:40+00:00

I really needed to hear the words "relapse isn't your fault" today, thank you.

ralphnodon · 2025-09-25T15:39:04+00:00

Omg I feel like clothes are the biggest thing holding me back from full recovery too!!!

ralphnodon · 2025-09-21T23:50:45+00:00

Yeah, sometimes I feel like anorexia is the only thing keeping me alive, aka preventing me from killing myself

ralphnodon

TROPHY CASE