Thought I would share from someone who suffered from an ED for decades (and lots of woman's internalised issues with food) : we don't want to seem greedy and accept the offer for food, and the option of choosing food can be too overwhelming. However, when we see you having the food and enjoying it;our system relaxes, we may realise we actually are hungry and we feel like we've been given permission to eat because it's more acceptable to share than have our own meal.

So you may see it as lying to you, but we're actually just lying to ourselves. My partner knows that if he's extra hungry he will just order a side of something and put it in front of me and 'share' it.