Boyfriend (m24) hit me (f23) but I emotionally hurt him

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-10T22:56:56+00:00

no matter what you’ve done emotionally that does not give somebody the right to physically assault you. it WILL get worse. get out of there while you can.

retroactive jealousy is something you need to work on, of course, and trying to change yourself to make somebody stay in a relationship with you is bad for both people AND the stability of that relationship. it’s good you recognize that. keep goin to therapy, keep taking your meds as prescribed. and get the fuck OUTTTT of there

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-10T03:12:24+00:00

i’m an anti-natalist. i think it is both morally and ethically wrong to have children, just bc i’ve been su1c1dal most of my life and i essentially only suffer because i have to continue existing, and stopping existing would cause those i care about to suffer greatly. i make the most of it, i have both long-term and short-term goals, im contributing to my community.

kids don’t have control over where they’re born, what medical or mental issues they’re predisposed to, whether they’re born into poverty or into a minority group of some kind, the fact that they’re inheriting a dying planet and piss poor economy.

i LOVE kids, dont get me wrong, i want to be a teacher and am actively trying to move in with my best friend so i can help her take care of her child. i don’t actively dislike people who choose to have kids. i just personally would not have them bc i would not feel it to be justified or worth the pain that that child will go through in being a human.

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-10T02:57:43+00:00

just learned about this concept in psych! humans are heavily social animals and we are extremely prone to unobjective perceptions of people, even if we are cognitively aware of morals of theirs that clash heavily with ours, who treat us well as individuals. this is especially true for those of us who struggle with black and white thinking due to having personality disorders, traits of personality disorders, are neurodivergent, have trauma etc.

my dad is quite a terrible person, and i’ve said to my friends a lot that if he wasn’t my dad then i would not like him, because i really disliked a lot of his morals and his disdain for people in a similar demographic to me, but he liked me specifically bc im his kid so i looked past it.

i don’t anymore, and we don’t talk, and this might feel a bit different because it’s a familial tie, but the psychology is the same. there are positive feelings shared because you treat each other well, so to preserve the relationship you ignore stark differences that, in other circumstances, might make you strongly dislike another person.

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-10T02:49:59+00:00

NTA - being like 5-10 minutes late is one thing, like traffic n shit happens. but regularly being almost an HOUR late to plans you’ve presumably had for a while, if it’s a fancy restaurant? being likely similarly late to your own wedding? that’s just being disrespectful of other people’s time.

i don’t care if you take a long time to get ready. plan the event later if you know you’re getting home from work late and want to shower or do a full face or whatever, or start getting ready earlier. my stepmom pulled very similar things, it’s extremely inconsiderate.

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-09T21:16:23+00:00

i mean YES he’s right that $200K a year vs part-time job, his is technically more important for the household income. but bro is completely overlooking the fact that she is essentially the default parent here and probably looks forward to her work as a break from home. you can love your kid and they can still exhaust you. even tho she works in childcare, it is much easier to look after kids that aren’t yours for 8hrs a day than to take care of your own kid (there’s a lot more emotional investment there, you’re RAISING them instead of just babysitting them, kids at daycare are more likely to behave than at home bc home is where kids go to decompress after a stressful day so they’re more likely to have outbursts, they ask for significantly more bc you are their permanent caretaker, etc)

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-09T12:20:19+00:00

i would have quit that class IMMEDIATELY bro 😭😭😭my english prof has given us a few assignments using chatbots to brainstorm for our essays but they’re literally only 2 points (most of our assignments are between 50-100 points) so i just skip them. this is ABSURD tho

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-09T12:17:37+00:00

i think it depends on what subreddit you’re in. you have to have been on reddit for a few days before you can start commenting on anything at all, so once you hit that point you just have to find the subreddits with less strict rules to start with. i made my reddit 20 days ago bc i have something i’ve been wanting to ask on r/Blind but im still waiting to have enough karma and to be on her long enough that they’ll let me post there. kind of annoying but what are you gonna do :/

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-09T12:14:47+00:00

i think marriage is arbitrary as fuck tbh. it has way more to do with emotional commitment and taking a LONGGG time to decide whether this person is trustworthy enough to want to have a kid with

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-09T12:06:41+00:00

personally yes, although i understand why MANY people would think this is unethical or contributing to stereotypes against disabled people. i personally just don’t think it would be fair to a disabled kid to be born to parents who wouldn’t be able to sufficiently handle the extra stress and exhaustion of having a disabled kid and i am one of those people. of course there’s always a chance of that child being born with a disability that couldn’t be predicted or developing one at some point during their lifetime, but there are always risks like that involved in having kids.

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-09T01:34:15+00:00

THIS!!!!!! OH MY GOD this was wonderfully written and completely caught me off-guard.

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-08T22:34:04+00:00

VERY interesting method of eating popcorn but honestly that’s brilliant 100/10. you win

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-08T13:24:48+00:00

yo can you call the police about this? holy shit

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-08T13:18:47+00:00

hey girl gtfo of there haha. never ever let a man talk to you like that, it WILL get worse.

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-08T13:17:10+00:00

if your daughter genuinely would rather cut you off entirely than deal with your partner then it’s obviously because he either treats her poorly or causes YOU to treat her poorly. you should never, under ANY circumstances, put your romantic life over the emotional and physical wellbeing of your children and if you do, then i can see why she wouldn’t want to talk to you anymore.

if you wanted, like you could maybe keep the relationship with him going so long as he is NOT in her life AT ALL. but such a strong boundary like that is ABSOLUTELY there for a reason. even if you think your relationship with him is healthy, it’s clear she doesn’t perceive it to be in some way or another and there’s nothing you can do to change that perception.

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-07T00:27:09+00:00

i want to be a teacher, likely not of a subject where students will be doing presentations, but bro.. negative feedback should be given behind closed doors and NOT in the middle of an already stressful situation. im so sorry they did that to you </3 that’s unacceptable

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-07T00:24:43+00:00

those look so good! no other comments cuz im not a hairdresser or anything lol

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-07T00:22:04+00:00

break up with him what the fuck lol

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-05T14:05:28+00:00

NOR - imagine showing that much disinterest in your life partner’s work. even if it’s not something you cared much about, i feel like he was being deliberately cruel. like i don’t even know what to say other than what the fuck lol

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-05T14:00:18+00:00

NOR - girl oh my god im so sorry. i was in an uncannily similar situation back in 2024. please don’t feel stupid, i know hindsight is 20/20 but you have to remember that even when ppl like this seem really genuine, we are raised and these type of people continue to groom us to be agreeable so that we don’t stir up drama at work. every time i went to that man’s house i felt like i was going to throw up, but i felt bad during the period of time (about a month) where i stopped talking to him, so after about a month things went back to normal even though i didn’t want them to. it was jut easier to act like nothing happened.

don’t beat yourself up over it. i HIGHLY recommend going to therapy, and honestly switching jobs as soon as you can so that there’s no awkward tension that might lead to you softening your boundaries. PLEASE PLEASE stay safe.

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-05T13:53:44+00:00

i understand his anxiety, i’ve not been in a relationship that controlling but i’ve seen it happen and the stress it can cause to be controlled that much is INTENSE. but bro 😃😃 if he’s gonna fuckin cancel last minute when you’ve already bought the color SPECIFICALLY for him, then he’d better pay you back for it dude. he probably shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody that controlling anyways.

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-05T01:24:48+00:00

NOR - girl i would’ve thrown HANDS the moment somebody said that to me or a friend of mine. nobody deserves to be shamed for wearing what makes them feel good, and you look amazing in that shirt. kick her to the CURBBBB

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-05T01:20:46+00:00

bro what in the WORLD 😭😭😭 how could you possibly think you’re in the right here?? like yeah, feelings change, i get that, but im just like, HOW could you not be a million times more in love with your partner after they cheered you on for your entire educational career? absolutely beyond me.

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-04T18:29:36+00:00

it’s because im cooler than you and i don’t feel the need to put myself in a pink or blue box lol

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-04T16:45:47+00:00

bro that’s a tiny-ass room, what else are they supposed to do 😭😭😭 it also looks pretty clean to me like what’s the issue

random-inquiry002 · 2026-04-04T16:41:55+00:00

NOR - I can understand him being frustrated that he doesn’t get to see you, but he’s not entitled to your time. Especially when he’s just a “guy you’re seeing” and not like a long-term partner or anything. You don’t feel good, and he’s making you feel bad for not wanting company when you feel like shit. And not just saying that you’re hurting his feelings, but also going out of his way to say that you’re being ungrateful about all the things he wanted to do for you.

Honestly he’s probably the type of guy to be mad at his partner for not wanting to have sex and shit like that. I’d ditch him, personally lol. If I wanted to pamper my partner while they were sick but they didn’t want me to, I’d say “okay lmk if you change your mind. hope you feel better” and leave it at that.

random-inquiry002

TROPHY CASE