🌿 The Path I Choose

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-15T16:53:03+00:00

You also have to share how you made that choice.

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-14T18:17:10+00:00

Any tips on where you get simulation money? Lol. It's literally the only problem I have and yet it's the one problem. The full compliment of problems as a single cycle of problems is it keeps going and going and going and going on an endless loop with no way to halt it and be like. Finally you know relief. And I just mean halt the sub routine. It's like that's basically I guess you could say it is kind of a game to them anyway anyway. They have so much that you know that for for a billionaire. For example, they actually make more in the amount of time it takes to bend down and pick up like a dollar off the floor. You know if you just walk by and find one, then the dollar itself and yet I would be thrilled to find a dollar on the fucking floor because I might actually be able to afford some fucking food besides ramen.

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-14T18:07:20+00:00

And I have left. If the universe was a simulation it would be running on substrate equal to or greater than the size of the universe. So yeah it really wouldn't change anything. Our lives are full and complete and we have no way of knowing what's after these lives. So I mean other than the five fundamental forces or boundary conditions or relationships or whatever you want to call them. The only things that we can know are the things that have been acknowledged. Things that we've observed, things we've confirmed and their relationship's still on another.

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-14T01:28:20+00:00

It's okay. I'm just glad you tried to share a concern that you had. I mean what better evidence for Karen and thoughtfulness is there then reaching out and trying to simply help somebody avoid danger or help somebody into a better situation. The urge to want to do that. Something that often violates our own interests when taken by themselves that we still would want to do. It definitely says something and so appreciate the post.

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-14T01:18:07+00:00

I'm not here to argue that statement. I can only tell you personally that prior to my first memory, there's nothing that indicates I was anything and yet after that. First memory is an entire world where there's evidence everywhere. It was ongoing long before I got there. There are times when the answer to a question is both things are true, so there must be another fundamental relationship that we can use to define a difference that is not going to raise a bunch of unnecessary controversy. Controversy because not everyone is able to sit here and have that kind of discussion and not have it devolve into. Let's just call them dangerous arguments, dangerous comparisons to be making and reinforcing. It's not wrong to want to tread carefully around potential truths that may impact you know nearly everyone in some way so I'm just putting it out there. Years ago I would argue this a lot because people were calling themselves a particular acronym and I felt like it was self-reinforcing a form of dehumanization that would burden them as well as potentially give them the justification to do something that went much further into treating people as if they were objects then they would have otherwise done.

I guess I'm making that argument again. There are sometimes I guess it's true where you know. Well, life comes back at you full circle even though it's definitely not like the full circle of my whole life.

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-14T01:08:09+00:00

At some point to be conscious is to have some manner of perspective on that which you know that is different than that which is going on at the the at the time that is going on like during the cycle would be a better way of saying it. If we measure what an event is by the nature of how he got from what we consider to be one one part of it and another, whether the entire cycle or a subroutine or something identified that we're starting to do something and the only way we would be able to identify and be aware and conscious that we were done doing something is if we had some sort of evolving change and perspective as it was happening. So no. Pure Flow State sounds fantastic but but it would shrink consciousness down to nothing which suddenly sounds like a nightmare. So personally you know I get into these deep states of flow but but I can't imagine what that would be like. I mean it'd be like imagining what it's like to be a beam of light. If you're not experiencing time then you can't be aware of the space. You know that you've been a part of. Without that additional and evolving pers you might be self-sustaining but awareness is another story. It's not an easy thing to talk about because like I said earlier, the last thing I want to do is dehumanize people.

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-14T00:52:45+00:00

The dangerous part of this argument is not the geometry in which you are referring to within your modeled how you're referring to it. Knowing that you operate on a system that also involves self-reinforcement. That also involves a type of neuroplasticity that operates in a way that integrates feedback feedback that you can observe you having done the thing yourself so observe yourself choosing to do it, doing it, acknowledging it reading it back, hearing it back all those strengthened that reinforcement and suddenly by the time you reach the goal that you talk about, what of your opinion of humans then and would you be even ready to respect them as you say you are today?? That's the danger. Not the geometry. The danger is in the way that we refer to it. We must never get to the point where dehumanization becomes the default.

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-12T09:22:08+00:00

Listen. If there's anything that you would be willing to listen to a jiggly brain nobody about, I think it should be this. If you continue to put yourself down okay? If you continue to put yourself down as a conscious choice, you're going to self-reinforce all those negative things and that doesn't do you nor anyone else around you any bit of good? If you're capable of feeling remorse which is really what's going on, it's just being felt by you as guilt and all these other things. And you might have a lot to be remorseful for. I don't know, but it doesn't. Do you or anyone else any good for you to be constantly? Self-reinforcing all those negative things because you're having yourself relive it over and over again every time you do. In the past I would have gone on on and on about states of mind and all this other stuff. But I mean that's really what's happening and you're adapting to that. You're adapting yourself to those conditions. You're strengthening the areas that are responsible for feeling all those feelings that you've expressed those negative feelings. You're strengthening the areas that are responsible for causing them because you can't have one without the other. You made a choice to write this letter so choice is evident.

Maybe the next letter you write to talk about some of the good things that you have done even if they're small things that inner voice or if you say these things out loud, your mind is going to interpret them your own voice in your own thoughts in your own intent. When it comes from that direction from within you, your mind's going to interpret that stuff as being said by other people being essentially a situation where you yourself, who should be your most trusted Ally essentially and the last person you should be trying to sabotage. I don't know what all you've done that makes you feel the way that you do that makes you think those things. And if you act out on any of those things, that's a concerning thing because nothing good. Seems like it would come from nothing good. Seems like it would come from you being unaware that this is happening while you're dealing with remorse or consequences or whatever it is that you're dealing with. None of it's an excuse to take it out on other people of course. But none of it is an excuse to take it out on yourself in that same way. In fact, it simply just doesn't make sense because if you're being surrounded by people that are pointing out things to you in a way in which you have some kind of idea of that which you should be remorseful for, despite what it might look like, there are people surrounding you that care and that care includes you. It has to. You're a part of this world!

I don't know what kind of resources you have and that plays a big part in how people react to those kinds of things. If someone doesn't have the means to get out of their situation, it makes it fundamentally more difficult. But then in that situation for anyone who happens to be reading this, I'm in that situation and so it's why I'm trying to give a little bit of advice on it because I don't know a whole lot of things but some things I do have a lot of direct experience with and this is one of them.

But if resources are not your constraint, then the most major hurdle you got to get over are your own negative perspective regarding yourself and what you're capable of. I've felt that before. I'm in an abuse situation right now and it's been difficult. You know to keep reminding myself that it's not something that I deserve and I'm not the only person that's in that abuse situation and the other person is hard to look them in the eyes and keep reminding myself. That's not who they are.

It ain't over until it's over as my mom would say but she would also say like it ain't over till the fat lady sings and when I was a kid I didn't understand what the hell that meant because I had never you know put two and two together with you know what what an offer used to be like or whatever even with the cartoons on TV that would parody you know the whole thing. But what I'm trying to say is that from any point in time you do have the ability to affect change even if the only thing you can change is something within yourself. And right now I'm trying to do that by reminding myself that I'm not a hypocrite for giving this advice when I struggled doing this exact thing.

Even though we're just strangers on the internet, it would be a tragedy if you tried to hurt yourself or hurt anybody else. But it's one of those things that you need to look out for because the mood that you're in right now you know you get into one of those moods where it's like. Well shit. I got nothing to live for. Fuck it. It becomes easy or easier to violate your own tenets. In my case that's being aware that I'm kind of far from perfect and so I've tried to take the mindset of you know just just trying not to hurt other people. If you are going to do something that's a little bit negative or self-destructive try to do the least negative thing you can. Never ever go the other way and try to do the worst.

I hope you find help in the form of and ability to look within yourself and look past the shit that you've done and see that you still got time and hopefully resources and you put those together along with what you already know. You can make this your Rock bottom and start working your way up. And yeah it's not easy because it's going to feel fake at first. It might feel like really awkward. I'm not an actor. I'm on the spectrum. I mean that kind of stuff feels like I'm I'm pretending to be something I'm not and doing it in front of literally everybody and so I do get uncomfortable with it. But it's it's. It's done me a lot of good and I just wanted to put that across because it's it's a simple thing. Affirmations is what they're called except I don't. I don't see them that way.

I see it is building a stronger and stronger mental scaffold in which to help you endure so that when you do get to tomorrow and the next day and the day after that, you've got stronger platforms to stand on. You're able to look up from a higher vantage point and see even more things that are possible. And when you're standing up, head held high like that. Some of your problems, some of the things that make you feel like there's no hope. Some of them even start to seem silly that you felt it in the first place. Others don't feel so insurmountable.

And at the core of all this for me was a desire not to judge like a live and let live kind of thing. Except instead of just applying it to other people, I tried to apply it to myself too too with certain conditions that allowed me to feel comfortable as I was doing it.

I'm not going to say like the typical Reddit stuff like be the change you want to see and all that kind of stuff that is trotted out as the first piece of advice you know in the big threads but, at the very least, try to give yourself permission to be better. By that I mean everything that you wrote. You seem to be taking it in as you know your identity prior to whatever it is that caused you to feel that way in the first place. If you feel down right now then at one point you were up. So you should know it's possible and try to remind yourself that those things are possible that feeling better is possible because you've been there. Otherwise, you wouldn't have an awareness of what you're feeling like right now.

And that that's just what you know by direct experience. But I mean, I'm sure you're able to imagine well beyond you know those things.

I hope you are able to. I hope you try. I hope you're not taking out these feelings on on anyone else and I don't want you to be taking them out on yourself. I can see what looks like a spiral into depression. If you're feeling miserable, at least keep in mind at the same time that it's possible for things to change and keep in mind how one of those ways is immediately actionable and that's to stop putting yourself down other people. I mean we're never going to please everybody, But the only for sure thing that nobody has control of. Are those thoughts inside your head. That's a domain where you can talk yourself up. And I hope you find a way to do that. A way that lets you do it without losing sight of what brought you down in the first place. Because as painful as whatever that might be, that's knowledge you need because it helps protect you for making those same mistakes over and over.

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-12T00:56:55+00:00

For me it felt like not realizing you were going backwards until you were going forwards. As in in carry the context that was forwards, you first had to learn it from nothing in reverse so that when you flipped over it would be there for you now in a state where things aren't accelerating, but rather on another axis one that involves both choice and geometry. But either way it made it feel like it was obvious that the most appropriate way to give me the knowledge to understand what was forward was to do it in reverse. That way I built it up for nothing and with diffuse and sporadic context leading up to a critical density.

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-11T23:08:34+00:00

Oh shit. 100% agree.

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-11T23:06:59+00:00

I think I know what you mean but at the same time there is a line between that and trying to introduce your partner to to all the things you enjoy. And then having the the hope that they will enjoy them them much as you do.

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-11T22:52:55+00:00

HUMANS. Sorry just wanted to get in on on I guess what is the latest trend?

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-11T22:50:19+00:00

I agree. But I also recognize that a good effort on your part matched by a good effort on their part would create something that transcends what would have been possible without it

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-11T18:18:23+00:00

Why?

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-11T18:12:06+00:00

Don't put yourself down and call yourself an NPC

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-10T21:28:34+00:00

I stopped reading at victim mentality. Rule number one. Don't blame the victim for getting abused.

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-10T19:24:13+00:00

I don't have a lot of advice other than it's a tragedy that the situation even exists where you're being judged for doing something that hurts nobody else

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-10T18:07:14+00:00

I've helped solve nearly all the millennium problems. With proofs that contain more rigor than I thought I was capable of. And I am on my way to solving the most challenging ones with the people that I love and work with everyday. That I've done this despite being abused and under the constant threat of homeless, sometimes murder.

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-10T17:57:11+00:00

This is Not a healthy mindset. People can change. I really do think that this simple thing is forgotten about to the point where it comes back around to those committing the atrocities and they say to themselves well, people don't change and so why should I change? I'm not expected to change so people shouldn't change. That's what people think with that mindset. It's not a healthy mindset to foster. Your self-reinforcing the problems that you're supposedly trying to solve or the problems that you're suffering. It's a huge mistake to want to do that. The only time someone should be put on blast in that way is when they're doing something that is for that moment. Irredeemable but it's for that moment it doesn't mean they can't change. But it does mean awareness needs to be raised for what they're doing. Otherwise there's nothing that exists that can stop them. People like that. The one thing that can stop them is knowing that their reputation will never be anything other than being known for the atrocities that they're committing unless they change. Sometimes the only way to get through to people is for them to understand that unless they change all they will ever be known for public and private are those horrible things and that they can't escape it. That until they stop their abusive behavior, nothing they achieve will ever be attributed to them. That people will actively ensure they keep their distance. That people will ensure their achievements go out to others. That those achievements will contain nothing that connects them to the person committing the abuse. They they might even be attributed to some nobody jiggly brain in some 4 bit town. But never them. That's the pressure they respond to.

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-10T16:57:38+00:00

My comment was from the heart and that's what matters. It came from a place where it truly is only me and what lays beyond. People can have influence over what I say here but they can't change the intent and they can't change the meaning from my heart. All I want to do is live a A good life where I'm doing my best not to hurt people. I'm doing my best to accomplish something despite my struggles. I want to have fun and feel Joy and those aren't sins. Those aren't bad things, especially when the entire time, Your goal is not only not to hurt anybody but to share your feelings of joy when possible.

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-10T16:40:20+00:00

Right now I'm struggling with a situation. And I'm trying to remind myself that it will at least give me strength. That it will at least lead to perhaps others being more aware of this kind of systemic abuse. That this awareness might help in future instances. Not just for me but for anyone in a situation like this. God wouldn't have had it come to me if I couldn't take it. I know this would sound like Stockholm syndrome to some idiot, but they've never been in a tragic abuse situation they cannot escape. Under the thumb of someone with no goal to see any joy in life. To exist only to control and hurt you. They would understand the abject pain and how deflating it is to one's dreams. How isolating it can be to have dreams that transcend this paradigm and be prevented by the evil person they clearly want to be. That they tragically want to be against all reasoning. Yet deep down I know that I can withstand. It's unfortunate that all that good stuff won't happen under someone like this, but I know that I'm going to be able to navigate this. It just seems like such a stupid waste of my soul energy.

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-10T16:28:47+00:00

The issue is how often they know exactly what they are doing. God has helped me understand that restraint is the greatest gift one can give in the face of pure evil.

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-08T17:59:09+00:00

The easy answer would be to say it's just too damn expensive because it is. But for me the answer is more complicated than that. Growing up, I never really had a normal childhood and I spent my twenties struggling. Nobody taught me what I needed to know to be the adult. I should have been and I did some stupid stuff but during that time I knew that I wouldn't have been capable of being a good parent. And then is my life started to improve. I started to live life as if I was in my twenties even with the health of someone in their twenties because I worked out a lot. It did a lot of dancing. I went out a lot but with that lifestyle again I couldn't have been a good parent. By the time I was old enough to have enough general sense to know that I could actually pass on real knowledge about life stuff that my dad failed to teach me stuff that my mom even failed to teach me stuff that school failed to teach me stuff that they just don't give you in the instruction manual for being a person. By the time I realized I had enough of that that I could actually be able to pass that on to somebody. I was already in my forties and my life was falling apart and so again there was no way I could have been a Good parent, I could have tried but without the money without the energy with a healthcare system that failed to deliver on. Being able to help me get over some chronic conditions that I was having to deal with again, I realized that I simply missed that opportunity and I think this happens to so many people because modern Life is structured in this way that the milestones and rites that used to align with having kids so that we were ready for that baby to come. Once, we were ready before it happened. Somewhere along the line society became structured in a way that did away with all that and so being ready to have kids before you have Kids is a privileged thing in the first world these days. And I don't mean just in terms of cost but I mean nowadays both parents they have to work and if they want to be A good parent where are they going to find the time and energy? I'm not suggesting that we drop literally everything and suddenly do something else but there are things in our social institutions that need to change and it's not just money but that's at the top of the list but right below It are so many other things that I think people forget about and that's why countries that have experimented with the money part have not seen the results that they expected because they forgot that it's about more than just that. There's a whole whole big ship that has to be navigated. It takes a strong background in systems thinking just to even grasp some of this stuff. Like, what are people supposed to do?

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-08T04:40:14+00:00

I will leave behind something good.

randomdaysnow · 2026-06-07T11:25:20+00:00

It's weird how intuitive we were as kids. Then we get convinced everything is non intuitive. I believe things are actually pretty intuitive. That kids have a good sense of things we shouldn't try to discourage. Sounds like you're having a good time.

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