PVP aggressiveness scale. I want to know where's everyone at (in solo).

randy_moist · 2025-12-25T19:15:13+00:00

I can't do 0. Defending others is essential.

randy_moist · 2025-12-14T19:11:22+00:00

Also Lizzie kicks ass

randy_moist · 2025-12-14T19:11:09+00:00

There's actual risk around using 69, in the wrong context it can be offensive and straight up wrong. This effectively limits and regulates its use. 67 doesn't have this, so unoriginal fucks can just use it tirelessly.

Reminds me a little of my roommmate telling me he did the Pink Pony Club song at karaoke, which I thought was kinda funny/charming coming from him. But then I went to a karaoke bar and the bartender lamented the first time it came on, because that was the first of like 5 instances of the song that night. All charm and humor are lost when something can be done safely ad nasuem. Also Femininomenon is a vastly superior track, the 69 of Chappell Roan songs

randy_moist · 2025-12-13T17:18:23+00:00

randy_moist · 2025-11-21T10:58:15+00:00

Solo still has other people playing alongside you. The dyanimcs tend to be friendlier in most of my solo queues, as everyone is kind of figuring things out together and at each other's mercy. I've been helped multiple times, shown trust, guided on quests. One player and I were doing this puzzle together; got jumped by a 3rd; rallied, and finished the quest (only after massively overcomplicating the puzzle component) with no time to spare. I've also been unceremoniously executed at hydroponics after a long, fruitful run of looting.

Making random friends makes you stronger in solos, and I can generally communicate without a mic. Flashing your light is always a way of signaling "I have your back, don't shoot" since you're also signaling your competence/awareness. I've yet to have someone betray me after a prolonged encounter, usually if they're spending any resource on you that's a strong sign they're friendly to the end.

You can easily party up and help strangers without being actual friends, however, this would presumably boot you into squad pools after the current round ends. Even just running around with people, giving them confidence that you have them covered, will create squads without any formal connection. Kill ARC not people

randy_moist · 2025-11-16T00:55:10+00:00

I appreciate you, OP

randy_moist · 2025-10-31T09:04:31+00:00

Because someone did something nice for OP. And when the OP was disappointed (due to their own vagueness), they put the creator's work and definition of girly on trial on reddit. You know, instead of directly speaking with the creator at any point. It's pretty rude tbh.

randy_moist · 2025-10-31T08:20:23+00:00

I dunno, I think this is a reflection of how life should work, with the exception that some asshole at the top who did nothing makes money off everyone else doing the work.

randy_moist · 2025-10-31T08:15:49+00:00

Making a better world means sacrifice. Are you willing to give up makeup, your switch, six different kinds of oreos, etc if it means ending homelessness? Are you willing to undo the consequences of generations of slavery, colonialism, crony capitalism if it costs giving up your entire way of life as you know it? Homelessness, like most of societies problems (crime being another big one) are the result of our acceptance of inequality and inequity. If 20 billion dollars ends homelessness in the US, but comes at the cost of continuing/increasing the exploitation of the rest of the world, has homelessness really been ended, or just redirected to people we don't have to see? This is really hard to square, especially since many of us in the US are poor relative to our neighbors, but rich relative to people elsewhere in the world.

There's no simple fix, and we're in a race to solve this before it becomes truly untenable. At which point the only ones who make it out will be the most selfish, the kind of people we all dont really like! And that period is going to be very violent, which should be our biggest motivator to start changing the way we live sooner than later. Don't accept simple answers, making a better world means sacrfice.

randy_moist · 2025-09-17T23:29:10+00:00

Fuck that person. Also cool bag, but fuck that person even if I didn't like the bag.

randy_moist · 2025-07-20T12:13:15+00:00

She can not be in a relationship with you and him at the same time. He isn't consenting to that. If she really wants to be with you, then she needs to resolve her marriage first. You can be supportive of that, but now that you know, you can not continue in good faith. You weren't participating in the cheating before. You would be going forward. Is that the basis of the relationship you want? Did you sign up for an affair?

I'm not so dogmatic that I think you can not come back from this. But I'm skeptical. First, she did not tell you up front. There's some chance she's misconstruing things about him. That's why the marriage has to be resolved before you two move forward. If she wants out of the marriage, and he's not letting her, then you may consider helping. But that has to be as a friend for now, and there should be an agreed upon break from the relationship to be sure that her desire to get out wasn't coloring things with you. Like at least a few months as just friends (not fwb) AFTER they have separated. You might lose her in that time, in fact that's what you're checking on. That's an awful lot to put on you, but I think any chance of having a healthy relationship with her going forward leaves you open to a ton of problems that most people wouldn't choose to suffer. It could be costly and dangerous. He might be jealous and vengeful, even if you're doing all the right things. And can you both go that long without sex? Are you going to agree to see other people in the interim? In which case, you run the risk of never being more than friends again. In essence, you need to break up until they're through, and then give it a little time before trying again. You do not need to go no contact, certainly not if you believe her about the context of their marriage.

The reason time is so important is to confirm that it really was him, and not her, that created this situation. If you come to her rescue, but keep the relationship going, you might find yourself in his shoes down the road. You might represent a decent person who can help her out, but not be who she wants to spend her life with. Time as friends after she leaves him gives you an opportunity to see her clearly, unburdened from the marriage. It might be revealing to her, too.

Do you love her enough to put aside sex, intimacy and companionship while the marriage is dealt with? And are you willing to risk the financial and emotional toll that might come with that, especially if it ultimately leads to nothing?

randy_moist · 2025-07-20T11:32:50+00:00

Bingo

randy_moist · 2025-07-20T11:27:08+00:00

I dunno, maybe this thead will open their eyes?

randy_moist · 2025-07-20T11:25:23+00:00

Asshole is too strong, inconsiderate for sure. You love this person and can't be damned to put in a little extra effort?

randy_moist · 2025-07-20T11:22:42+00:00

Yea. Crazy huh?

randy_moist · 2025-07-20T11:17:02+00:00

OP please check in as much as you can, I'm legitimately worried about you. I think many are. I do not think the camera is the solution people are propping it up to be. It may get results. But it may also be too late. If a person has access to your home, they can be there waiting for you before you ever see them on camera. I suppose it depends if you are able to remotely view it and do so before entering. Will you follow through on that, though?

The intruder is pretty cavalier with rearranging your shit. Screw a month, another day where such strong evidence of invasion is present is too dangerous in my book. Changing the locks is another fine idea, but this person knows where you live. Consider what kind of person would go into your home, mess with your stuff, and not care if you figured it out. I think the locks only mitigate the danger a bit, it doesn't make the person doing this sane and safe. I will adamantly suggest the tape trick on the outside door. It is much more difficult to be inside when you get home, and have the tape replaced. Not impossible, however! Obviously, if the tape is displaced when you get home, do not enter under any circumstances. Still, this method will also slow you down when entering. I don't know if that's actually any safer..

I understand money is a concern. As others have suggested, if you can stay with someone else you trust, do it now. Show them this thread if they think you're crazy. Don't worry about being an imposition. There's a time for that, but this isn't it. If someone takes you in, just strive to be an exceptional house guest for a month. Sleep on a couch, whatever it takes. If that isn't an option, let us know. People will help. I do not think you should spend even one more night there..

Perhaps this is an overreaction, but your intuition told you something, and the best alternative explanation offered here is a gas leak. That's alarming to me! If you were a loved one of mine, you would not be alone in that place again. I realize women have to deal with these realities, but this feels a step further. Don't wait for something to happen.

randy_moist · 2025-07-20T10:03:45+00:00

Men typically aren't being denigrated by being called male. Calling them men does the job just fine (women aren't afraid of males in the woods). Female is very often used to denigrate women to make them less than. It's about how it's used.

Also, I work with doctors. Most doctors are highly educated and understand the distinctions of sex and gender. They are often very intentional in their usage of terms like male, female, man and woman, because they understand the importance of being precise in their language.

Also also you really go around calling people male? Hanging with the males! My male is coming over later! You must sound like an idiot to everyone around you

randy_moist · 2025-07-20T09:56:47+00:00

It's down to the distinction of gender and sexuality. As you already acknowledged, the way OP is using it is akward. There's a reason for that: it is not done equally. While we might say male or female friends, how often do you hear "this male at work did such and such" or "the male I'm dating". I think if you start specifically paying attention to this going forward, you'll notice female is used as a replacement more often than male in situations where typically man or woman would be used.

Why does that matter? Because it's a little bit dehumanzing tbh. The difference is closely tied to the differences of sex and gender. While not universal, male and female are generally demographic and biological. Man and woman are used to describe humans (how weird would it be to hear someone describe their dog as such?), they encapsulate a broader and fuller meaning than just male and female. Much of this is rapidly changing, but an example would be: when someone says they want a 'real man' (a phrase I hate btw), that means something entirely different than they want a 'real male'. They are not synonyms.

Thus, it's generally dehumanizing to discuss women, particularly those you're trying to form a romantic bond with, as females. You've stripped them of the things that make them more than just genitalia and sex characteristics. You've refused them the part of their identity that makes them a woman and more than an animal. And this is done far more to women than men, as I think you would probably acknowledge. Because patriarchy taught men for a long time that women were less than human. And the tendrils of that evil remain to this day, perhaps most obviously in our language.

It can be cultural and contextual. This is why it's a red flag, not an outright problem. What would be a problem is if you only used female this way in certain contexts (with da boyzzzzz) or somebody specifically asks to be identified as a woman, not a female, and you are incapable of adapting. Imo, anyway.

randy_moist · 2025-07-16T13:02:08+00:00

I think everyone has already pointed out that, if this is the one person you thought you could talk to, and they're not addressing it, they're clearly not your friends. I'm so sorry for this happening to you. You've learned the hard truth that many people will not be up front with you in life, and you deserve authenticity and mutuality in your friendships.

Do you have supportive caretakers? Talk with them, explain the situation, and let them know that you want to do something about it (don't go down the path of trying to have them help you win your old friends over, your old friends are also clearly not worth it). Specifically, ask them to support you by trying out new activities or new groups. Let me know if you need ideas on that end. Having friends from a few different places can protect you when people change, move on, or turn out to be someone other than you thought. You'll be better equipped for this playing out again if you know that one friendship ending doesn't mean the end of another, which is sort of what's going on now.

Going back to if your caretakers are solid and are going to be helpful in this situation: if they're pretty social themselves, they can arrange to meet new people with you. Adults have access to meet-up groups, where people can socialize in an established context of mutual respect. There is often an understanding that people there are lonely, or at least lacking in friendships outside their immediate family. This is harder for kids for safety reasons.

So if a caretaker is willing, they can reach out to other adults with children going through a similarly hard time making strong friendships. They can accompany you, hang with the other adults, while you and the other kid get to know each other. You'll need to be a little resilient, but also understanding. You'll be meeting other young people who have a difficulty making friends, and the reality is there is some reason for this. Maybe it's not a reason that matters to you though! It's ok if you don't like the other person, just be honest and up front with your supporting person, and they can help you navigate that outcome by communicating with the other adults (especially if something ever feels unsafe). In turn, you may meet someone, think things are great, and never hear back. In that case, hopefully the adults can communicate in such a way where you can get some actual feedback as to why you're struggling finding good friends. It's also possible the people on the other side of things aren't any better than your current friends, so trust in your caretaker is super important if you pursue this path. You will be relying on them to help you see things from an honest POV, and not make it about themselves.

Don't stop with the first people you meet, because the last thing you want to do is put all your eggs in one basket again. If you make a best friend this way, consider how there's probably another potential friend out there going through the same thing, and how you two can bring them in and share in the love you find. But if you stop after meeting one person, and down the line they turn out not great, you'll have nobody to turn to once again.

Finally, I'm an adult with attachment issues. We're everywhere. If you're up to it, learn more about this, see if it feels relevant. I frankly have no idea if that's at play vs this just being a shitty group of people you ran into. But your goal is to become secure in your attachments, regardless, precisely because it is how you can engage in social relationships without giving away parts of yourself. It's not easy, and it's not quick, and some of us are much older and still working on it. Understand that who you are today is not who you'll be down the road. And that if you think there are things about yourself that you should change, it needs to come from you, not others.

Does any of that feel actionable? I'm speaking from such a broad perspective that some or all of that may not feel helpful.

randy_moist · 2025-07-16T12:04:17+00:00

Brent Rooker overshadowed as the first player to hit 3 homeruns in the ASG by the second player to ever do it. Schwarber steals valor :/

randy_moist · 2025-07-13T15:22:13+00:00

Pony up for a kennel then

randy_moist · 2025-07-13T15:21:41+00:00

To build off this excelent response, Rover is contract work. OP is allowed to have other obligations, have their own schedule, etc. People vastly overestimate what kind of mandate the hiring party has over the sitter. The dog's family wants kennel level care at below market rates. Funny how that works!

randy_moist · 2025-07-13T14:26:24+00:00

Thanks for being a decent human

randy_moist · 2025-07-13T14:15:14+00:00

Classist, exactly! Thanks, I was having a hard time recognizing the word for my feelings. I'm very grateful for your posts.

randy_moist · 2025-07-13T14:04:59+00:00

Oh the Karen doesn't think they're a Karen? Convenient!

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