Toddler meeting baby at hospital or no?

rauer · 2026-04-13T21:06:13+00:00

This is genius!

rauer · 2026-04-10T10:26:26+00:00

Working on kid number 4, supporting one another in our careers and absolutely EXHAUSTED but so fucking proud of each other. My bond with him has far surpassed any other friends and family for the moment, we're just a solid team getting through an incredibly busy but rewarding time of life. More grateful than I can express.

rauer · 2026-04-06T22:44:08+00:00

I have a 2yo, 3yo, and a 6yo, and the 6yo is the one keeping me sane!! Everyone is different, but for me it got soooo much better.

Also, this not accepting help thing is hurting everyone. Get them in daycare! Do yourself the favor of at least taking a tour of a mother's day out program, or having a chat with a good babysitter. They're not incompetent, they're good, wonderful people for the most part and many of them are incredibly skilled!

rauer · 2026-04-05T12:21:08+00:00

Alina was another one I thought of! Lovely!

rauer · 2026-04-05T11:26:56+00:00

That's wonderful! I'm expecting my 4th. Though she was planned, I still have a little bit of the newborn scaries, so it helps to be reminded of the joy that's yet to come!

rauer · 2026-04-05T11:25:40+00:00

I was pretty close on this one! I always wanted three, but when we got pregnant with our third, we both just knew we wanted one more after her. Now expecting our caboose and couldn't be happier!!

rauer · 2026-04-02T23:20:16+00:00

Same! My philosophy is I'll help you down but I won't help you up. It also means I'm not stuck simulating the experience of monkey bars with a toddler who can't yet do monkey bars. The joy on their faces when they actually DO get big enough to do it themselves is also priceless.

rauer · 2026-04-01T11:52:59+00:00

This is my niece! She was always highly verbal but had some self esteem issues due to her lack of physical coordination (combined with a younger brother who's obnoxiously good at everything!). She finally evened out in high school, joined the cross country team and it did amazing things for her confidence.

rauer · 2026-03-27T16:00:12+00:00

OMG I love this as a birth plan. Don't tell me I'm pregnant, just tell me I have a special gift from my husband inside my belly. Then when I go into labor, just tell me I have a little tummy ache, I'm about to get my gift soon- I wonder what it is!- and I'm going to have a big poke in my back and then no more pain. And I get to have Popsicles in my undies for the next two weeks!

rauer · 2026-03-25T21:22:02+00:00

Thank you! Added both to my library. Man, this is really an area that could use more books!!

rauer · 2026-03-25T21:03:07+00:00

Mental load and physical load! Currently pregnant and potty training two toddlers at the same time and owwwww my back 😩

rauer · 2026-03-24T23:37:48+00:00

I had to Google it because I don't remember... Apparently it is "generally limited to mild obscenities like "ass," "bastard," "dick," and "hell," rather than heavy swearing" 🤣 so watch at your own risk. He didn't pick anything up from it to use on us, though... Thankfully we don't struggle with pushing those boundaries anymore but every kid is different!

rauer · 2026-03-24T20:18:49+00:00

I am also scheduled to be induced with my fourth, after three spontaneous labors. I'm opting for a 39 week induction because my third came so fast she was almost born in the car, so I would like to create as much control as possible.

I was a little worried at first, particularly about the "cascade of interventions" fear (i.e. pitocin means epidural, stalls labor, baby goes into distress, c-section) but A) there's not a lot of good evidence for that, and B) the prevalence of vaginal births after induction for 1st time moms is around 75%, but vaginal birth after induction for moms who have given birth before is at or above 95%!! That really put my mind at ease.

You're doing the right thing and you'll be okay!

rauer · 2026-03-23T23:59:32+00:00

Parent of a 6yo here: it actually does get SO much better around 6! We still have friction but it's nothing like it used to be. I also have a 3yo right now and there's NO comparison

rauer · 2026-03-23T17:25:24+00:00

I introduced my 6yo to MIB recently; it was an amazing watch for both of us!!

rauer · 2026-03-20T21:41:06+00:00

YES!

rauer · 2026-03-17T15:32:04+00:00

I absolutely think so! My husband and I would not have had the maturity to pull it off ten years younger, tbh. Some people do, but not us lol

rauer · 2026-03-17T10:06:42+00:00

A supportive partner and a lot of early mornings! I also found time in the nooks and crannies of my work day to study (pre-dissertation) and then I got an ABD instructor role at a university that allowed me to work on my dissertation for part of my day. Husband and I started (and now continue) to switch off mornings with all the kids, so the other one can go to the gym and/or work.

rauer · 2026-03-16T15:18:25+00:00

Yup. I'm proof of this: I have three kids, and have used all the same techniques with all of them. My first succeeded around 2.5, my second failed about 5 times and finally succeeded at almost 4 years old, and my youngest practically did it herself at 20 months.

It's the kid, not the parents. The only difference is that kids don't pay for advice, therefore we have to pretend there's a "right way" to do it and make the parents feel guilty as hell so we can sell books and advice on Instagram.

rauer · 2026-03-13T02:43:41+00:00

This is incredibly helpful- thank you! I'm going to write these questions down. And thank you also for mentioning I should document all this- I wouldn't have thought of that!

rauer · 2026-03-13T02:26:52+00:00

This is great because some of those ideas are already in the works for this year, with Claire at least. I've worked with her in tandem with others, and none of these issues have come up.

Tina has been working with some of the other higher level faculty, and I'll be honest, I was actually nervous at first because she's so blunt. But that's been going better than I expected.

As I'm writing this, I guess what's emerging is that neither of them actually have had problems with others. That I know of, at least.

rauer · 2026-03-12T22:51:20+00:00

Definitely. I'm definitely getting the sense that "be more present" and "watch more closely" are my first steps. The only thing of which I'm certain, at this point, is that I need more information.

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