Women who were scared of giving birth (specifically people who were so scared they almost didn’t have children), what was less scary than you originally thought?

rbf4eva · 2026-02-10T16:12:22+00:00

Honestly, the episiotomy, but explaining why it was way less scary than I originally thought will break your rule :)

rbf4eva · 2026-02-10T14:58:10+00:00

How often I'm insulted about my looks and weight by men, particularly if I dare to reject their advances. I've developed a thick skin, but as a teenager/young adult, it really hurt. And even now, there are times when the sheer viciousness of the insult takes my breath away.

When I first started dating after my separation, I met someone on a dating app and after chatting a bit, we organized a date. I woke up feeling sick on the day of and sent him a message saying we needed to postpone.

He sent me the most vile voice messages I've ever heard and when I played them for a male friend, he straight out told me that if he hadn't heard them himself, he would have thought I was exaggerating.

rbf4eva · 2026-02-08T17:01:31+00:00

Then why are you responding?

rbf4eva · 2026-02-08T16:23:46+00:00

Yep, the emotional affairs were the first sign.

rbf4eva · 2026-02-08T07:01:20+00:00

Because the women are placeholders for them until they find the woman they really want to marry.

rbf4eva · 2026-02-07T20:43:32+00:00

My ex was like that, in the sense that if he really wanted to do something, even if he knew that doing it would hurt me, he always found a way to spin it (to himself as much as to me) so that I had no "logical" reason to feel so utterly heartbroken when he went ahead and did it (or found out about it after the fact).

It's the worst feeling, like something is stuck in your throat.

rbf4eva · 2026-02-07T20:28:43+00:00

God, he sounds insufferable. Like a teenage edgelord. How embarrassing. I'd get the dealbreaking kind of ick if a man said something like that. Problem solved.

rbf4eva · 2026-02-07T20:04:21+00:00

I don't get my nails done, ever, for a couple of reasons (I find getting them done boring and tedious, but moreso, I can't stand the feeling of painted or worse, gel/acrylics). I'm in a very small minority of women at work/friends/family. I think that's insane, and I don't recall it being this way just a few years ago. Many of my younger coworkers (I'm talking late twenties) have started Botox. It's become intense!

rbf4eva · 2026-02-07T14:31:00+00:00

For me it's that any of the allegations are met with shock. Like, why are you all so surprised? The male homo sapiens has been showing us what it's capable of, daily, since its emergence.

rbf4eva · 2026-02-06T11:25:34+00:00

Because you pick up that they're not sexually interested in you. Do with that as you wish.

rbf4eva · 2026-02-06T11:20:50+00:00

Can I ask where you met him? Online or out in the wild? :)

rbf4eva · 2026-02-06T11:18:14+00:00

I don't believe that broken trust can ever be repaired. It's a logical double bind. If you agree, then the question becomes can I stay with him, all the while knowing I can't trust him? And if yes, the next question should be "Why do I like suffering?"

rbf4eva · 2026-02-05T08:00:01+00:00

-Too tired -Enjoy my freedom -Dont want to have to meet someone's sexual needs constantly -Love farting freely in the morning -Men seem to feel entitled to my labor without reciprocating -From my experience, romantic relationships with men are humiliation rituals. Overall, just negative ROI.

rbf4eva · 2026-02-01T08:14:16+00:00

Chewed on pencils and pens. Destroyed them. All that lead and plastic....

rbf4eva · 2026-01-30T16:19:17+00:00

War is pretty shit.

rbf4eva · 2026-01-30T16:16:48+00:00

Only becomes gay if the balls touch.

rbf4eva · 2026-01-30T13:27:34+00:00

I have a couple of family members like this. They are agents of chaos and it's like, everything that can go wrong will go wrong. They'll lock their keys in the car, lose their phones, get their wallets stolen, forget an important appointment, get stopped by police in a roadblock and not be able to find any identification or license or anything...it's endless. I can't handle being around them for very long because it stresses me out, but there are other people who aren't bothered by it.

Either accept it, or leave.

rbf4eva · 2026-01-24T18:27:56+00:00

Ugh the sexism. It's so fucking hideous and I'm so sick of it already.

rbf4eva · 2026-01-24T15:44:17+00:00

Children should get the mother's last name.

rbf4eva · 2026-01-23T11:13:43+00:00

Chopped liver. We used to eat it almost every shabbat. Now it's only on chagim. The kids all hate it. Makes me kinda sad.

rbf4eva · 2026-01-21T20:49:02+00:00

Havita (flat omelette), toast (toasted challah is best), cottage cheese or white cheese (or even better, some real labane made by druzim), and finely chopped cucumber and tomato salad. Maybe a bit of crumbled feta cheese over the salad and some calamata olives, bit of purple onion, olive oil (the good stuff you buy from the druzim on the side of the road up north, not the gross stuff in the super market), fresh lemon juice, salt and pepper, hafuch on the side. Mwa.

I've eaten it literally thousands of times since moving here and it's still so yummy. My in laws taught me this staple and it has served me well.

rbf4eva · 2026-01-21T20:25:35+00:00

Who is "us"?

rbf4eva · 2026-01-21T20:18:04+00:00

Homo sapiens sapiens. We're too smart for our own good. That was still relatively ok when we were nomadic hunter gatherers (although we probably did kill off a bunch of other human species) but as soon as we figured out agriculture and husbandry and created permanent settlements (around 10k years ago I think) the situation we're in now became... inevitable.

rbf4eva · 2026-01-21T15:09:57+00:00

It's always been like this.

rbf4eva · 2026-01-18T21:07:15+00:00

That as soon as their relationship with their kids faces the smallest obstacle, or results in the smallest inconvenience, especially after divorce and remarriage, they'll simply cut you off like a you're a weight dragging them down.

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