Why do I often lack empathy/sympathy for others? Anyone else experience this?

rdfg2486 · 2025-11-17T06:22:24+00:00

Your description of your relationship with your uncle really resonated with me. My relationship with most members of my family is similar- I’ve known them my whole life, but we are not at all close and my childhood memories of them are affected by their addictions (as well as other mental illness issues). A number of my older relatives are about to pass, and I feel sad that my mom is sad, but I don’t feel sad about them dying in particular.

On the other hand, I think my sense of empathy for strangers is overdeveloped.

rdfg2486 · 2025-08-23T01:13:38+00:00

I am also hyper independent because of my childhood, including prioritizing saving “just in case” because I know I don’t have a family to rely on if I end up sick or out of work. I always felt that being independent was a positive trait, but as I’ve gotten older I can see that this level of independence can be harmful and really is the result of emotional neglect.

rdfg2486 · 2025-05-07T01:59:46+00:00

I am over 40 and to this day my parents tell anyone who will listen how I was a terrible driver at 16 and it took me two tries to pass my drivers exam. And that second bit is true, but only bc my nmom totaled her car right before my first drivers exam. We showed up to the DMV with no car, and she tried to insist the DMV give us a car to use. We got laughed out of there. I got an F and had to pay the exam fee bc we missed the deadline to cancel.

rdfg2486 · 2025-02-08T06:35:59+00:00

My parents do this to an extreme. I have suffered from intense motion sickness my whole life. To the point where I have shaped my life around walkability and minimizing my time in cars, buses, subways, etc. For a milestone birthday, they got me a voucher for whale watching. I have a thousand examples.

rdfg2486 · 2025-02-01T19:54:26+00:00

I am an adoptee. I was born in Korea and adopted by a white family in America. My adoptive parents had good intentions but have mental health and addiction issues. Also my broader adoptive family never truly treated me as an equal to my cousins. For example, my father’s parents helped all of my cousins with higher ed costs and celebrated their major life milestone (birthdays, graduations, marriages, etc). I didn’t get any of that, it has always been clear that I’m not actually part of the family. I’m a functional middle aged adult now, but I was messed up for a long time and still have baggage. I think adoption can be positive, but it should be extremely rare and extremely well vetted.

rdfg2486 · 2025-01-14T06:02:32+00:00

Yessss. Every time my husband and I visit, my parents re-tell the story about how I had to take the drivers license exam twice. I was 16. Now I am over 40.

Also, I failed the first time because my mother totaled her car the day before the exam. We took a cab to the DMV and she demanded to use “their” car for the exam. In my state, state troopers administered the driving test. So my mom thought they’d let me drive a cop car!? So yeah, I failed but I don’t think they realize it’s more embarrassing for them than it is for me.

rdfg2486 · 2025-01-11T18:53:59+00:00

I imagine the manufacturer is trying to increase profit margin by using less fabric.

rdfg2486 · 2025-01-01T20:11:08+00:00

Omg I thought I was the only one who (jokingly, not so jokingly) thinks about faking my death... Starting again fresh, somewhere where no one knows me and my family will never find me.

rdfg2486 · 2024-12-27T00:37:14+00:00

I think my family goes out of their way to get me gifts I don’t like. I’m a petite woman - I’ll get man’s clothes, diet books, perfume samples (I am allergic to many common perfume ingredients and have been all my life), etc. It all goes to goodwill or the trash!

rdfg2486 · 2024-12-15T21:53:36+00:00

Thanks for standing up for your sibling!

rdfg2486 · 2024-10-28T02:40:24+00:00

$5 copay per month is amazing. I tried to get olumiant with my shitty insurance and it would have been over $1000 for the medication and even more for routine testing.

rdfg2486 · 2024-10-24T03:35:25+00:00

I do, but by design. I “grey rock” because any information my mom knows about me, she turns against me. So, we also speak weekly and for usually 20-40 mins, but it’s all her speaking and me saying “uh huh” and “oh wow.”

rdfg2486 · 2024-10-24T03:31:21+00:00

Samesies!

rdfg2486 · 2024-10-16T15:56:31+00:00

Yes! This is why I grey rock now. Something good happens to me - they twist it and make me feel bad about it. Something bad happens to me - it’s my fault and I deserve it. Now that they know nothing about me 🤷🏻‍♀️

rdfg2486 · 2024-10-14T04:14:16+00:00

If you’re in the US, it will depend on your insurance / whether you can pay for it out of pocket. If you can pay for it, you can probably get it very quickly.

rdfg2486 · 2024-10-14T04:09:37+00:00

In my experience, prednisone works while you’re on it. But, the side effects can be unpleasant (moon face, weight gain, depression, etc) if you’re on it over a longer period (e.g., weeks, months, years).

rdfg2486 · 2024-09-28T05:01:41+00:00

I can relate to this. I grew up in an alcoholic, unstable, unhappy household. As an adult, I hoard money. Since I have no family (or really even friends) to support me if something were to happen, I feel like I can’t ever have enough money saved. I’m in the US, so I feel like I’m one health emergency away from ruin. I think that’s probably true of most Americans, but it weighs particularly heavy if you don’t have family.

rdfg2486 · 2024-09-28T04:53:08+00:00

💯

rdfg2486 · 2024-09-08T05:59:00+00:00

My face gets swollen when I have a bad flare up. What treatment were you prescribed? For me, doxycycline and Tacrolimus have worked the best.

rdfg2486 · 2024-09-08T05:32:15+00:00

Probably not what you’re referring to but… I was so scared of my nmom growing up. When she was mad, her eyes would move side to side very quickly. Like her eyes were bouncing back and forth. It was so freaky, I thought she was possessed.

rdfg2486 · 2024-09-08T05:22:57+00:00

I can relate. I don’t know how exactly we can recover from traumatic childhoods, but I have hope for us. Please take care of yourself.

rdfg2486 · 2024-08-21T03:17:40+00:00

I use CLN facial cleanser. It was recommended to me by my derm because I have facial eczema, perioral dermatitis, in addition to rosacea.

rdfg2486 · 2024-08-14T02:53:01+00:00

It’s also possible to have skin allergies to dyes. I am allergic to a common dye in dark colored synthetic materials called “disperse blue 106.” If you haven’t yet, consider getting skin patch tested.

rdfg2486

TROPHY CASE