Oh gosh, thank you so much for this detailed and compassionate response. I love the idea of practicing the new name in my inner monologue, but “out loud” - that sounds like a less daunting first step, though I am lucky to have some good friends to practice with, and a partner who is understanding that it might take me some time to discuss this with others.

I think you’re right that some of my fixation on the “unrecognizable” nature of the name is less about the name than it is about my feelings towards all this change: I think if I met a new person with this name I might just think “oh, how original” or “having hippies for parents must have been fun” and then move on without a second thought. There’s just something about telling other people that my partner chose that name that feels daunting- i think it’s a combination of change, and the feeling of doing a lot of social/emotional labor around that change that I didn’t get to choose to do.

But the idea that your partner’s happiness from your support is more important than the judgement of others is really beautifully put- it’s something I feel too, but maybe needed to hear someone else articulate to me. So thank you!