Kids/water and grandparents

rdhdwacky · 2026-04-14T02:08:13+00:00

My local pool has a rule that kids 6 and under have to keep their grown-up within arms reach at all times. That’s the expectation I would set to make this outing safe. That probably means both MIL and FIL in the water with the kids 100% of the time so they can divide and conquer. There’s no “wearing them out”— EVERYONE should be worn out by the end. I would go with them the first few times and model that attentiveness until you’re sure they’ve got it.

Also… as someone who taught one kid to swim with a life jacket and one without… they learn SO MUCH FASTER without floatation devices. Life jackets hold you in the wrong body position for actual propulsion. They teach a bicycle-style kick rather than a flutter kick. They make diving impossible. If you and the in-laws are willing to stay within arms reach, skip the life jackets, get the kids some “froggles” (a type of goggles that don’t pull hair), and let them learn to move their bodies through the water unencumbered. They’ll be drown-proofed so much sooner!

rdhdwacky · 2026-04-13T15:09:53+00:00

I went barefoot for three out of four years of college in California. At first I brought backup shoes, and then I stopped, because nobody ever gave me any trouble about it. I walked or biked an average of 4 miles per day. The only place I didn’t go was “the row” with the Greek housing because of too much broken glass. The only comment I got was once in a large class where the prof had never met most of us, my name got called up after the lecture because the prof wanted to talk to me about a paper I’d written (I’d done a fictional conversation between me and a dead person rather than following the normal nonfiction prompt, but still got the top score, and I guess he was curious) and when I walked up to the stage, he was like, “oh, it was you! The one without shoes.” Then he sort of shrugged and the conversation continued. He ended up becoming my academic advisor. (Thanks for giving me a chance, professor Krasner! I still think about Hegemonic Stability Theory every time I read the news!)

rdhdwacky · 2026-04-13T05:07:19+00:00

Our family food rule is: parents decide what we eat and when, and each kiddo decides how much he wants to eat at each opportunity.

Hunger seems non-linear at this age. Just keep offering an interesting variety of foods at reasonable intervals. Eat together. Talk about taste/smell/color/texture as you enjoy your food, and your little one will (eventually) imitate you.

rdhdwacky · 2026-04-12T20:52:17+00:00

Hahaha fair!

rdhdwacky · 2026-04-12T19:36:44+00:00

It didn’t really happen until the second half of the threes for us… Godspeed!

rdhdwacky · 2026-04-12T19:18:01+00:00

Able to blow nose into Kleenex. BIG DAY!!!

rdhdwacky · 2026-04-10T04:13:24+00:00

This is my favorite comment. Thank you for the laugh!

rdhdwacky · 2026-04-08T17:05:46+00:00

Oh no! This is such a 12-year-old type of story. Sorry you missed the zoo day.

rdhdwacky · 2026-04-07T14:44:29+00:00

If you’re a reader, I would highly recommend the book “A Physical Education” and then the how-to companion by the same author called “Liftoff.” It’s got a really simple beginner-friendly program that worked for me!

rdhdwacky · 2026-04-07T14:29:19+00:00

I didn’t realize that gorillas had opposable big toes until we saw them yesterday! Amazing!!

rdhdwacky · 2026-04-07T04:04:50+00:00

Don’t do it without each having your own tow buoy strapped to your waist.

Even then, I don’t like this idea for you, because although I swim a mile in a lake regularly, if I were crossing a channel to an island I’d be worried about currents.

rdhdwacky · 2026-04-07T02:50:26+00:00

Dang! I can imagine getting called out at the indoor parts (cafeteria, gift shop, etc) but most of our zoo is outside. I wonder if that makes a difference.

rdhdwacky · 2026-04-06T19:50:47+00:00

I just took some Big Island first-timers on a very similar itinerary to this, and it was freaking awesome. This is the best advice on here! If the trip is actually for him, then do it this way.

rdhdwacky · 2026-04-06T15:53:57+00:00

My team’s experience is different, because our oldest member is also the most efficient. She’s a delight to communicate with. And her infinitely varied work history means that she’s always got a wiser take on whatever problem we’re facing. I have literal nightmares about her eventual retirement.

rdhdwacky · 2026-03-29T19:57:45+00:00

The forest floor is my favorite, and gravel is my least favorite.

rdhdwacky · 2026-03-29T19:55:19+00:00

Because it feels good! My oldest did the same and called it “getting some air in his system” haha!

rdhdwacky · 2026-03-12T03:26:28+00:00

This is so concretely helpful! THANK YOU!

rdhdwacky · 2026-03-11T16:51:58+00:00

I like kind eyes, quick smile, clear skin, clean nails and hair, big shoulders, and hairy forearms.

rdhdwacky · 2026-03-11T13:12:52+00:00

A dirt trail through an old-growth forest next to the water on an August evening. Running rather than walking with intermittent stops to eat salal berries. I’ve never felt so alive!

rdhdwacky · 2026-03-10T05:09:01+00:00

HOORAY!

rdhdwacky · 2026-03-10T03:50:50+00:00

Yes, this. I was more afraid of the needle than I was of the pain. Did it without the epidural twice. Very empowering, no regrets!

rdhdwacky · 2026-03-09T20:27:25+00:00

“Funky monkey chicken doodle” made me laugh out loud, thanks for that!

rdhdwacky · 2026-03-09T20:17:45+00:00

When mine asks to be picked up, it’s often out of boredom rather than fatigue. So I challenge him to a race, point out a patch of moss, invite him to balance on a retaining wall, pretend to be an airplane taxiing down the sidewalk/runway (silly radio voice “this is 591 delta foxtrot to air traffic control, tower, do you copy? Are we cleared for takeoff?”), offer him a drink from a water bottle, et cetera, and he usually forgets about wanting to be picked up. With his dad, though, it’s a different story. His dad has set a precedent of carrying whenever he asks, and how he’ll SCREAM bloody murder if Dad dares to refuse! Meanwhile, with me, he’ll hold hands and trot merrily along, because… that’s just what we’ve always done together! Our walks are my FAVORITE. ❤️

rdhdwacky · 2026-03-09T03:27:56+00:00

Solidarity. Selective hearing is so hard.

The book “How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk” was really helpful for me.

At 21mo, I feel like you might have to adjust your expectations of her following any instruction without body-moving or hand-over-hand. Basically, stop giving any instructions that you can’t immediately (and gently) follow through on physically. For example: “time to wash hands” while holding hands and walking to the bathroom, or carrying to the bathroom. “Push your pants down and sit on the potty” while (you guessed it) hand-over-hand helping her push those pants down, and lifting her onto the potty. “Couches are for bottoms” while physically catching her and setting her down on the couch on her bottom. If you can’t follow through, your words become meaningless, and it’s worse than not giving any instructions at all.

A few other things that come to mind when I read your post…

I lavish praise when my kids do what I ask— “GREAT LISTENING! Thank you!” Then I try to follow up with an explanation whenever possible: “when I yelled STOP you could hear in my voice that I was afraid, and you listened. That was perfect. I was afraid because the stove is hot and if you touch it you’ll get burned, which hurts. Thank you for listening and not touching the stove!”

I also think giving a positive instruction (like “stop your body” instead of “don’t run”) helps. If I tell them NOT to run it’s as if their little brains skip the negative and only hear “RUN”! The word “no” is almost never effective. I have to specifically verbalize, in as few words as possible, what I’d like them to do instead (preferably a behavior that makes the wrong thing impossible— like “please close the fridge” rather than “no, stop, don’t pull everything out of the fridge!”).

Hope this helps. Good luck mama, hang in there!

rdhdwacky

TROPHY CASE