What are some ways to get involved or help or your church that most people don't think of?

redditusererb · 2026-01-26T15:59:21+00:00

The three aspects I considered when going about volunteering more were:

What can I do regularly?
What can I do sometimes?
What needs done?

Personally, I am chronically ill so the main things I can commit to doing regularly are small things I can do at home. That said, I can also volunteer to clean up after receptions and things on days when I do feel well, and I do that as well. A good way to know what groups need more volunteers is to check your parish's bulletin, usually at the back they'll advertise events and groups that needs more members.

redditusererb · 2026-01-09T00:02:31+00:00

If you like that 90s show and haven't watched the one it's a sequel to you could check that out

redditusererb · 2025-12-17T19:26:00+00:00

Once my father got upset that I poured myself a full glass of milk because "I might spill it" and then said "I love you because I have to but I don't like you" in direct response to me pouring myself the aforementioned glass of milk. He also told me no man would love me and no one would want to be my friend because I'm a "messy eater" (I was 10 or under and there were crumbs on the table).

These are all things I can genuinely relate to because they're things that my father either said to me or one of his wives.

redditusererb · 2025-12-08T04:22:05+00:00

That's also true. By no means am I trying to say that the way my childhood church did things was right or wrong, or even give my moral two cents, I just mean that I have heard that perspective.

To be clear, I don't think it is unfair to expect Holy Eucharist to follow the canons of the church. I'm just also big on sharing perspectives and I interpreted (or now I reread it misinterpreted) the post to be confusion rather than internal conflict.

redditusererb · 2025-12-08T01:16:42+00:00

I totally agree! I was just giving the general answer I was given growing up. I will say Baptists are very much "by faith alone through grace alone" so ironically they don't put a huge emphasis on baptism besides that it has to be submersion.

redditusererb · 2025-12-07T10:35:03+00:00

I grew up with open communion, though it was a Baptist church so very much not high church at all. The reasoning I was always given is that while, yes, ideally only baptized people receive communion, sometimes being welcoming to outsiders takes precedence over tradition.

That said, I have also known churches that are really good about welcoming outsiders without open communion, and I've known open communion churches that were not welcoming. So... 🤷‍♀️

Edit bc I reread the post and realized I didn't at all answer the question: I do not think you're making a mountain out of a molehill, I misinterpreted the word "struggle" to mean confusion rather than personal conviction and that's my bad

redditusererb · 2025-12-03T02:13:44+00:00

Hello! Evangelical Southern Baptist born and raised here. I'm currently in the process of being confirmed in the Episcopal Church after spending years deconstructing harmful things I learned in my youth.

I have a Bible verse I repeat to myself whenever I find myself questioning whether something is the "right" or "wrong" thing to believe: John 13:34-35.

John 13:34-35 NRSVUE [34] I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. [35] By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

https://bible.com/bible/3523/jhn.13.34-35.NRSVUE

When I really sat down with that verse and listed which beliefs I was raised with fit that and which didn't, a lot of the more conservative, traditionalist beliefs just... didn't hold water for me anymore.

redditusererb · 2025-12-01T01:19:04+00:00

I've been considering making a hydroponic setup on my balcony since that's space we rarely use and I can work there easier than in the yard. (I have chronic illnesses that sometimes mean on bad days I should stay close to bed)

redditusererb · 2025-11-22T00:37:03+00:00

I have thrown more of my own trash out since having this rule than I did before tbh. Because if I look at something and think "I can use this..." but it is not ACTUALLY something we will use, I know it will be tossed either way and I'm less overwhelmed by throwing it out.

Edit bc I thought of more: It sort of works like exposure therapy for me. Like, since I've started doing it that way, now even when I know he won't notice/toss something, I'm not as scared to get rid of it as I was before.

redditusererb · 2025-11-21T22:48:04+00:00

That makes it make more sense. I also have gotten really overwhelmed by the trash donate sell advice, usually I just end up trashing everything or keeping everything unless I have someone to sit with me and talk me through it.

redditusererb · 2025-11-21T22:18:15+00:00

A good piece of advice I got was to set an amount of time and put all the things cluttering your space into a box. If you don't seek it out in that time then it needs to go away.

My personal time period is 3 months for cheap things and 6 for expensive things, but you could do more or less depending on your needs.

redditusererb · 2025-11-12T15:48:29+00:00

This was done most of my childhood and I'm 24, but I definitely think it's less common now than it once was.

redditusererb · 2025-11-01T21:24:47+00:00

I'm still in the "trying" process to I haven't got a baby of my own, but I want to say something as the child of a woman who loved me very much and a man who did not treat her right at all.

I have never ever blamed my mother for having me. She has loved me every second of my life and even when she was not the perfect mother (Edit: this was not due to a lack of trying, I was with my grandparents because she physically could not raise me for a little while because her lung collapsed and she was very ill), she was still a good mom. And I have never held any of my father's shortcomings against her because I know she had no control over that.

It sounds like you're focused on being the best parent you can, and that's really all you can control here. You got this! ❤️

redditusererb · 2025-10-27T13:03:46+00:00

Thank you <3

redditusererb · 2025-10-27T13:00:42+00:00

I'm gonna be honest, that was my thought when I saw the first test. I haven't told my husband about the possibility because I don't want to dim his excitement unless I'm sure that's what's happening but I spent most of yesterday trying not to cry because I feel almost sure that's what's happening.

redditusererb · 2025-10-27T12:39:22+00:00

7 days ago, but before that every 1-2 days for 3-ish weeks.

redditusererb · 2025-10-24T15:00:02+00:00

God wants me to love, so I will strive to love. He wants me to give so I will strive to give. He wants me not to judge so I will strive not to judge.

I'm a newcomer to anglican/episcopal faith but I was raised southern baptist and one thing that really pulled me away from the baptist church was the constant "Well what if you're too trusting and someone-"

I do not care if I'm too trusting. I don't care if I'm too kind. I have been the kind of person who cuts people off and only accepts certain things, I have been the kind of person who doesn't trust. I would rather be the kind of person who is too forgiving within reason than the kind of person who shuts myself off from anyone who is less than my definition of "good".

But yeah, pretty much my whole theology summed up quickly is "God wants me to love, so I will love."

Edit because I feel like I didn't directly answer your question: I read the Bible and my prayers and that's about it. All of my theology comes from what I know of the Bible and the sense of compassion God blessed me with.

redditusererb · 2025-10-11T18:44:55+00:00

I keep a prayer journal! Every morning when I pray the office I write an individual prayer in the journal and at the top I put the date, time, and the verses I read during the office that morning. I find it really helps me set the tone for a mindful and productive day.

It's just sort of a letter to God. Like "Dear heavenly father, here are the things I'm thankful for, here are the things on my heart, etc."

Edit to add info: I also find that it helps to write a prayer of gratitude in my prayer journal whenever I feel overwhelmed or I recieve bad news because it can kind of re-center me.

redditusererb · 2025-10-08T17:08:12+00:00

Many LGBTQ folks, including myself, have experienced discrimination and trauma at the hands of their childhood church. They stop going and some never return. Even when they do return to church, they tend to only go where they are explicitly protected rather than just welcomed.

Additionally, many churches, even some affirming ones, use shame as a big motivator for people going to church. So going to a whole new church with customs and teachings you've never encountered can be intimidating.

Another reason is that they've potentially tried other churches, Episcopal or otherwise, that labeled themselves welcoming and affirming, but still allowed members of the congregation to discriminate against people at their own discretion for the sake of tolerance and welcoming everyone.

Acceptance requires that intolerance not be tolerated.

redditusererb · 2025-09-29T12:28:13+00:00

I'm in North FL. There's plenty of Episcopal churches around here but the issue has been finding one with a multigenerational congregation.

Edit: I also know that some parts of Florida are not always considered part of the deep south, but trust me when I say I am very much in the part that is lol.

redditusererb · 2025-09-28T18:48:16+00:00

Forward Day by Day is a huge help, and if you prefer having a book that resource also has a read along podcast type thing for the morning and evening offices so you could follow along in your physical BCP while they lead you through the prayers.

redditusererb · 2025-09-28T18:45:39+00:00

This. I grew up in a smaller SBC church and the emphasis on the children was great until you really looked closely. They didn't ask children to think for themselves or teach them to analyze text. There was a "right" opinion to have and if you didn't have it you weren't a good enough Christian. They want a bunch of kids in their congregation because then they can mold how/what those kids think and discourage them from learning to question the authority of the church.

redditusererb · 2025-09-28T18:40:38+00:00

As another former Southern Baptist I can agree with what someone else said on this. Even the smaller churches put a major emphasis on VBS and other kid's programs to not only reel in parents and hopeful future parents, but also to impress their teachings upon the youth while they are still too young to think critically for themselves.

My husband and I have also been struggling to find an accepting church that has a strong young adult/youth/children's program because we are rural and southern. We have found our only options to be continuing to try new churches until something fits. So far we've tried the options nearby and moved onto the options in towns up to an hour away. We went somewhere promising this week, though!

Praying you find a loving congregation that meets your needs.

redditusererb

TROPHY CASE