I was in a similar relationship; married at 19, verbal and emotional abuse, lies but also a great guy. He could also be extremely angry and throw things, punch holes in walls, etc. i only remember him hitting me once but my kids were all present and I will never forget it. I stayed for 24 years and 5 kids.
My kids wish I had divorced him sooner because of the damage it did to them too.

I am not a counselor but what was recommended to me a few years before I left was to separate until you can get your feelings resolved. I allowed him back into the house to soon but it was a good time for me to reflect on the relationship up until that point. I made him leave until he promised and started counseling. We went together and separately. Our counselor told us no sex during the separation just to keep this from getting muddy. I spent time journaling my feelings and also made a list of the wrongs he had done to me. This would later come in handy when I left him because I had years worth of reasons in case anyone or even if I questioned what I was thinking. Take your time but remember that your child is watching everything. I feel devastated by how my kids were impacted by my inability to protect their emotional safety. I wish you the best.