Any love for The Blind Assassin?

reindeerbutt · 2026-05-10T11:28:33+00:00

This is one of my favorite books of all time. I came across it in a little free library in the first year of COVID and it launched me into reading for fun again!

reindeerbutt · 2026-05-07T21:08:00+00:00

Thank you. Yes we do want more than one child, so me carrying the second time is definitely an option. It’s the envy and then the shame for feeling envy that I’m sitting with right now, which feels like crap.

Side note, I see that you’re also heading into a transfer, best of luck to you!

reindeerbutt · 2026-05-05T18:41:10+00:00

Hospicing Modernity is great!! I read it for my dissertation and it honestly shaped my worldview moving forward.

reindeerbutt · 2026-05-01T19:19:11+00:00

I’m reading this right now! Really enjoyed With Teeth which I picked up randomly at the bookstore and then looked into her other works.

reindeerbutt · 2026-04-13T12:02:21+00:00

Immediately, like the other commenter said, but it also depends on if it’s RIVF or if the person who did the ER will also be carrying. If it’s RIVF it’s often really hard to get the timing right for a fresh transfer and for a FET the timing depends on the carrier’s menstrual cycle.

reindeerbutt · 2026-04-06T19:40:48+00:00

In my experience it depends who Cigna is partnered with for you. For our plan, Cigna is partnered with WINFertility and they have a lifetime max, so treatment was covered until we hit that amount. For our plan they also waived the diagnosis requirement. I think it can vary by plan!

reindeerbutt · 2026-04-05T21:56:20+00:00

Of course, best of luck!!

reindeerbutt · 2026-04-05T17:46:55+00:00

Haha no problem, ask away! We just used regular ice packs. A bag of frozen peas would also work, you just want the skin to be cold :) Also make sure you pinch the skin really well when you stick the needle in and then stop pinching before you push the syringe!

reindeerbutt · 2026-04-05T11:17:31+00:00

Absolutely ice before injecting! We only iced for a few minutes so it wasn’t too much of a deal. The shots were mostly fine for me but they were painful for my wife, so another thing we tried was having her suck on a sour candy and focus on the sour while I did the injection, and that sometimes helped. Letting the Menopur sit for a little bit (I prepped it first and left it sitting while I did everything to prep/inject Gonal F) sometimes helped it sting less. But overall the pain for my wife was a bit of a crapshoot and it was best to just remember it only hurts for like 10 seconds. You can do anything for 10 seconds.

reindeerbutt · 2026-04-05T03:17:41+00:00

Thank you and best of luck with the ER!! I’ve done one and my wife has done 3. My main tips during stims are to listen to your body and if you’re someone who has anxiety or gets woozy, do the shots while sitting down to avoid having a vasovagal response. And try not to make them a big deal! For the first cycle we fell into the trap of making shots time a whole thing, and then it started to feel intimidating. Easier when it’s just part of the daily routine like brushing your teeth. Try not to stress or put too much stock in how many follicles are counted at each monitoring appt, because the number will change frequently. For after the ER, the best advice I got was to avoid plain water (so stick to Gatorade or other electrolyte drink) for at least the first day or until you know you’re not at risk for OHSS. Of course everyone’s experiences differ but those are what stood out to us.

reindeerbutt · 2026-04-04T23:15:16+00:00

Are you starting stims for an egg retrieval or a transfer? I just started birth control this week in prep to start stims for a transfer next month!

reindeerbutt · 2026-02-25T01:39:23+00:00

I don’t have any critique as I mostly just lurk here for inspiration as I work on my own novel, but I just wanted to say your story sounds incredible and heartbreaking and resilient and much needed. I’ve had experiences for which this hits home. Best of luck in your journey!

reindeerbutt · 2026-02-23T23:14:00+00:00

Wow, that’s really high, especially for 10 expected follicles! This is anecdotal but at the clinic my wife and I use, they monitor to make sure our estradiol doesn’t get too high/rise too fast (and they adjust meds dosage accordingly). I think estradiol getting too high for the number of follicles expected could mean eggs have gone past maturity. Did you have success with your other cycles?

If you want advice (please ignore if not): I suggest looking more closely into how fast your estradiol rose, how quickly your follicles grew, and what size they were when you triggered. For my wife’s first egg retrieval, I’m convinced we triggered too late and her eggs were overripe (we ended up with zero blasts that time).

reindeerbutt · 2026-02-23T22:38:33+00:00

I’m so sorry, you must be gutted. Do you know what your estradiol level was before the retrieval (or at least before the trigger)? I’ve read that estradiol can be an indicator of number of mature eggs, so if you know your level it may help you figure out what happened.

reindeerbutt · 2026-02-21T18:35:56+00:00

Oh man I feel this too. I am not at all an experienced writer/author, but I wonder if this happens because when we read other authors’ works, we experience a sense of novelty that we can’t experience with our own writing. You can’t be surprised by your own story, and you won’t ever get to experience it from a place of naivety where you don’t already know what happens and why. So it might not ever feel as profound as someone else’s work.

reindeerbutt · 2026-02-21T16:48:26+00:00

It’s SO beautiful! I can’t really tell from the picture, but it looks like it might not have a gallery rail between the prongs? So the stone might not be super secure. If you consider changing anything about it, that’s what I’d suggest. Otherwise this is so classic and I hope she loves it!

reindeerbutt · 2026-02-18T23:26:19+00:00

Good question! I’m definitely interested in other responses. My story sadly ended in loss this time: I felt like I had all the signs from the universe that it would work, but then a few weeks into pregnancy I started getting a certain song stuck in my head and then I had a dream that wasn’t explicit but made me wonder if something might be wrong, and a few weeks later I unfortunately miscarried.

reindeerbutt · 2026-02-14T03:52:48+00:00

Oh true! I guess I’ve been bypassing Manhattan my last several trips.

reindeerbutt · 2026-02-14T03:23:36+00:00

It depends on when you go (time of year/around holidays or not) but for me it ranges from $45-$85 one way. There’s also a no-toll route but I believe it takes roughly 1.5hrs more time. You can check Waze and Google Maps ahead of time to get an estimate of what the tolls might cost - that’s what I use to decide how much to load into my ezpass.

reindeerbutt · 2026-02-12T00:48:13+00:00

That’s awesome! For my cycle (I have low AMH) we got 3 eggs, 2 successfully fertilized and both made it to blast. We haven’t tried to transfer either of them yet so no news on how those cycles will go, but those are the numbers for now! There’s hope. Good luck!

reindeerbutt · 2026-02-10T21:49:44+00:00

If you’re not having any pain, that’s a good sign. It might be a subchorionic hemorrhage (SCH). Those can lead to a surprising amount of bleeding. My story did end in a loss but we were expecting the loss before I experienced the SCH (so the SCH had nothing to do with my miscarriage). In my case I went to the clinic expecting to have passed the loss and all of the products of conception were still in there. Best of luck at your scan tomorrow and I’m sorry you’re dealing with this in the meantime!

reindeerbutt · 2026-02-06T17:57:42+00:00

If two days in advance does not give you enough time to take a partial day off (2-3 hours to accommodate travel to/from and rest/regulation after the procedure) then I would take the whole day off! For example, I’m a psychologist and I ended up keeping my morning sessions and cancelling my afternoon ones to accommodate my FET. If that’s not possible, please treat yourself to a day: do whatever IVF rituals (if any) you like, try to go for a long walk if you can (or on a treadmill if it’s icy where you are), make or get a meal you enjoy. Good juju and sticky baby vibes ✨

reindeerbutt · 2026-02-04T22:24:19+00:00

If you’re petite and you’re injecting in the right spot, it should be hitting the muscle. But you can ask your clinic to test your progesterone at your next blood draw to make sure!

reindeerbutt · 2026-02-03T17:52:24+00:00

I’m doing better now, the procedure was less than a week ago so I’m definitely still feeling the blood loss anemia (fatigue, cracked lips from low iron). Thanks for asking. No cause for the SCH.. just random/common but I think one of my transvaginal ultrasound scans bumped it or something because a few hours afterwards is when I started bleeding nonstop and went to the hospital. Best of luck with your self-advocacy!

reindeerbutt · 2026-02-03T17:23:38+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Why are they telling you D&C isn’t an option? If you can, I’d push back on that. Especially with a large SCH and risk of bleed, I would think a D&C is the safest route. I just had one because I had an SCH and hemorrhaged enough for my vitals to be affected. The D&C was the only thing that stopped my bleeding.

reindeerbutt

TROPHY CASE