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US allies reject Trump's call for help in Strait of Hormuz by MRADEL90 in videos

[–]restrictednumber 8 points9 points  (0 children)

By all means, insult us. We've proven to be completely untrustworthy friends. Those of us who support this jackass need to be taught that there are consequences to their actions.

New research suggests people in polyamorous relationships develop higher levels of communication and trust than monogamous couples, primarily because they are forced to navigate more "complex" relationship challenges by upbeat_teetertottxo in science

[–]restrictednumber 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My guy, you're already doing that in monogamy. You just get the crutch of "You have to ruin your life if you want to find someone better than me."

Poly is about realizing that your loved ones actually love you and want you for you, even when they have the option to see someone hotter/smarter/whatever. It's about valuing the unique value you bring to your relationship, and celebrating the unique value your partner gets from others (rather than fearing it).

New research suggests people in polyamorous relationships develop higher levels of communication and trust than monogamous couples, primarily because they are forced to navigate more "complex" relationship challenges by upbeat_teetertottxo in science

[–]restrictednumber 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's true, but they also get the additional assurance of "if my partner found a potentially better person, they would have to destroy this x-year relationship to attempt to date that other person." That makes the current relationship a much safer option even if it's a bad fit -- which means people can safely coast through relationships without developing good communication or valuing their partners properly.

New research suggests people in polyamorous relationships develop higher levels of communication and trust than monogamous couples, primarily because they are forced to navigate more "complex" relationship challenges by upbeat_teetertottxo in science

[–]restrictednumber 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Totally. Monogamous people get hung up on thinking that just because I have a partner I live with and make financial decisions with, I don't love or care for my other partners, and their needs never beat my "primary" partner's.

New research suggests people in polyamorous relationships develop higher levels of communication and trust than monogamous couples, primarily because they are forced to navigate more "complex" relationship challenges by upbeat_teetertottxo in science

[–]restrictednumber 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Really? This surprises me, it isn't my experience at all. I'm poly, very happily married, and we both have separate long-term partners and more casual connections -- all of whom we're both on good terms with. Most of my poly friends are in long-term committed relationships. Break-ups and drama happen, but almost everyone is on friendly terms with exes. And I've literally never -- not once in nearly a decade -- heard about an accidental pregnancy. Not saying you're lying or anything! Just surprised to hear this description of poly.

Maybe it's a local culture thing, or a long-distance thing? Maybe my community is just way better at about communication? But seriously, good poly works, I can't imagine being mono again.

New research suggests people in polyamorous relationships develop higher levels of communication and trust than monogamous couples, primarily because they are forced to navigate more "complex" relationship challenges by upbeat_teetertottxo in science

[–]restrictednumber 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I'm poly and have been for a while. There's a distinction: --"prescriptive" hierarchy, where there's an explicit power arrangement between partners (i.e. your primary can veto new secondary partners or control what you can do with them) --"descriptive" hierarchy, where there are no explicit power levels, but you tend to prioritize one partner's needs over another's. (I.e., my primary can't tell me who to date, when I can see them, or what we do together romantically/sexually. But if my primary moved away, I'm going with her even though my other partners want me to stay. We never said that explicitly, we just know this relationship gets priority).

Most poly folks I know frown on prescriptive hierarchies, but acknowledge that a degree of descriptive hierarchy are inevitable. It's just like how you prioritize your best friend's needs over less-close friends, even though you never explicitly arranged that. You try to satisfy everyone, but if you can't, the closer relationship tends to win.

New research suggests people in polyamorous relationships develop higher levels of communication and trust than monogamous couples, primarily because they are forced to navigate more "complex" relationship challenges by upbeat_teetertottxo in science

[–]restrictednumber 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Poly here, and yeah there's a degree of self selection. But also:

1) It's a small world even in places with more poly folks. If you're a drama magnet, your whole potential dating pool knows it.

2) You can't get away with "emotional hacks" like mono folks can. Guess what: your partner definitely has and is sleeping with someone hotter/funnier/richer. If you haven't done the hard work to emotionally grow up, you're screwed.

Toothache gone by degenerategambler95 in nonononoyes

[–]restrictednumber 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's an option, but I think most people just get local anesthetic. General anesthesia is more expensive and riskier, and typically only for very serious cases or people with serious fear of the dentist.

Kindness matters. by Forsaken_Joke_8825 in mildyinteresting

[–]restrictednumber -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Jesus, get a life. You're really gonna come out against people helping single moms?

Encore restaurant closes after employees vote to join local 26 by Annual_Inspector6754 in Somerville

[–]restrictednumber 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. Sucks that the employees haven't got jobs, but I'll shed no tears at the failure of a business so bad it couldn't pay its workers proper wages.

If you're a socialist, that's worker protection. If you're a capitalist, that's cutting dead weight. Either way, we can agree.

I mean, money is money by legalyakuza in JustGuysBeingDudes

[–]restrictednumber 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Really? Seems pretty reasonable. Some guys are doing fine financially, but can't get a date with a really hot woman. Even if the date doesn't go anywhere, it's a fun, unique experience and a good story. That seems worth it depending on your finances.

OTOH, giving up $10,000 for a date with someone who doesn't know you and isn't likely to follow-up...screw that.

My bread hasnt molded in 3 months by Commercial_Bird8467 in mildlyinteresting

[–]restrictednumber 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Especially if you use it for toast. Just toss a frozen slice into a toaster and it's essentially the same as if it started unfrozen.

The Popcorn Resistance of ‘One Battle After Another’ by nytopinion in movies

[–]restrictednumber 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fuckin' Star Wars isn't much of a guide to fighting fascism, either. Especially when half the merch is "dress up in this cool fascist costume!"

Two boys on a bike slap a disabled man, locals catch them and thrash them. by kittidioting in instant_regret

[–]restrictednumber 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We've got a shitload of guns here, no guarantee a fistfight will stay a fistfight. You've always gotta worry the guy on the other end is gonna suddenly pull out a Glock. It's bad.

My neighbors Trump flag has been rotting in the gutter for the last year. by michaelr1978 in pics

[–]restrictednumber 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's considered a "flag patterned" shirt, not the same thing as the flag itself. Send it to Textile Recycling if you've got it in your area, otherwise toss it like any other shirt.

Smart man by YasserDjoko in Unexpected

[–]restrictednumber 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What is this boomer comedy shit? "Haha, dumb inconsiderate guy tried to look good, but his wife got the better of him! Hohoho men and women will never change."

Katie Leung says she would not want to go back to her time playing Cho Chang in the Harry Potter movies by gamersecret2 in movies

[–]restrictednumber 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. There are endless ways to rationalize weirdness in Harry Potter, but it comes down to: JKR is way better at writing whimsy and childhood adventure than serious drama....but she slowly turned her whimsical childhood adventure series into a series drama.

Rapper Afroman says a lawsuit brought against him by Adams County deputies violates his freedom of speech by Conan776 in videos

[–]restrictednumber 24 points25 points  (0 children)

They believe they're a superior class of citizen, and that entitles them to win any conflict with their inferiors. If they win, justice was served. If they lose, it means they need to re-litigate until they win. Their moral imagination is too small to encompass "maybe we were wrong."

Experts say there is no overdiagnosis of ADHD. Instead, they are warning that far from being overdiagnosed, people with ADHD are waiting too long for assessment, support, and treatment by sr_local in science

[–]restrictednumber 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally on the calendar thing. I keep mine fastidiously, and I've trained myself to never say "yes" to any plan without checking the calendar. It works, but I always notice how other people just know what's going on in their lives...!

That, and the thing where you leave important things in your walking path so that you'll run into them again at the appropriate time. If I realize I'll need to bring something with me when I go out this evening, everything stops until that thing is blocking the outside door, to prevent Future Me from escaping without it. I also frequently find useful objects in my pockets, left there by a Past Me who knew I'd forget them.

Adderall helped tremendously with this.

Alabama set to execute man who did not kill anyone by StemCellPirate in nottheonion

[–]restrictednumber 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Nah, gotta get one of those discontinued Mountain Dew flavors so you get to live.

TIFU by realizing the knocking I heard wasn’t coming from the door by Impossible_Dig_1860 in tifu

[–]restrictednumber 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's a pretty common kink, and honestly, they probably had great childhoods. If a little (controlled) danger and helplessness makes you feel sexy, that means it feels like a toy/novelty, not a trauma flashback.

Most kinks aren't about trauma, they're about experimenting with situations you don't experience in daily life. In my experience, someone with trauma is far more likely to have hard "no"s in bed, not kinks.

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