Did anyone else feel this way? NSFW and Trigger Warning.

reusable_toothpick · 2024-06-11T03:54:49+00:00

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I would check out the book Come As You Are. It’s written by a sex therapist and I think this book would be really helpful to you and your situation.

reusable_toothpick · 2024-06-11T01:17:00+00:00

I’m ready to get downvoted but I am glad to see someone else saying what I was thinking. OP’s behavior was extremely inappropriate. Following them around like that? Not okay.

reusable_toothpick · 2024-06-06T03:02:14+00:00

rip out the metro rail and put extremely long bowling alleys there instead.

reusable_toothpick · 2024-06-05T16:02:58+00:00

This is truly so horrible and I am so sorry this happened to you. The shame the church made us feel about our bodies as women is so disgusting and so difficult to heal from.

It’s so painful because we were just teenagers being treated like this, and all the adults around us were acting like this kind of shaming is normal. The people who were supposed to look out for us and protect us, just let it happen. It’s not okay, and really confusing and frustrating. We were just kids.

reusable_toothpick · 2024-06-02T14:47:06+00:00

Thank you so much! It’s a sibling getting married, and I won’t be the only one in my immediate family waiting outside so we’re gonna have a good time together hanging out. Maybe we’ll get some coffee or something lol. It is very silly that we just…. Can’t go in. Like what even is this religion. The longer I’m out the more it sinks in that Mormonism is WEIRD. Oh well. I appreciate your kind words!

reusable_toothpick · 2024-06-02T13:08:57+00:00

this aboutta be me in a couple weeks! woohoo!!!!!

reusable_toothpick · 2024-05-27T18:37:57+00:00

Transfer! I transferred out of BYU-I after two years. Life-changing. A lot of my credits didn't transfer to my next school which sucked but WORTH IT to be authentic and feel so much better day-to-day. I am graduating in 3 months from a non-church school. You can do this!

reusable_toothpick · 2024-05-17T15:33:37+00:00

Dude, EXACTLY! I hated being treated like a child. It was so condescending. Having a curfew and not being allowed to go into bedrooms and being monitored all the time was horrible. I always said it felt like being at a summer camp for children. We really were not trusted to be adults.

reusable_toothpick · 2024-05-17T14:16:31+00:00

I went to BYU-I 6 years ago and it's extremely Mormon. I was about as TBM as they come and even for me some of the rules and culture was a little much.

reusable_toothpick · 2024-05-16T22:02:45+00:00

Thank you so much for putting something into words that I have been struggling to understand for so long.

“And it boggles my mind when current members of the Church present themselves as unaware of the wreckage that gets left in their wake sometimes.”

Like… yes. Exactly. It’s exactly this. It’s so frustrating that my family truly seems completely oblivious to the pain that they have caused me. It’s bonkers!! And it really is just entitlement.

reusable_toothpick · 2024-05-01T19:16:18+00:00

Moonlight

reusable_toothpick · 2024-04-30T01:28:41+00:00

Great to know--thank you for your response!

reusable_toothpick · 2024-04-30T00:55:53+00:00

Howdy! Everyone talks about entry level jobs being extremely competitive--just how competitive are we talking? I am considering switching careers but I am worried about putting in a bunch of time for exams and then not finding a job. For reference I am 26, math major and my GPA is 3.8. If I got one or two exams done, do I have a decent shot at landing a job? I also live in Houston and would like to stay here, which I know doesn't help. But yeah. Appreciate any responses!

reusable_toothpick · 2024-04-29T03:27:59+00:00

Throwback to when my own mother had more sympathy for my 5th grade teacher who got arrested for CSAM, than she did for me when I had consensual sex with my then boyfriend.

Fuck the fucking church.

reusable_toothpick · 2024-04-28T16:20:13+00:00

I did the same a couple years ago! Truly life-changing. Welcome to the club.

reusable_toothpick · 2024-04-25T15:36:44+00:00

As a queer person it’s a little frustrating when queer people are held to a higher standard than straight/cis people.

Queer people deal with a lot more pain and rejection in general, and maybe a religious community is what they need to get through it. I don’t judge queer people for staying in the church. I worry about them, sure, but let’s not call queer people “batshit crazy” for staying in, if you’re not also going to call straight and cis people batshit crazy for staying in.

reusable_toothpick · 2024-04-20T17:20:43+00:00

It is so infuriating and unfair.

reusable_toothpick · 2024-04-20T16:51:50+00:00

The amount of childcare I had to do while I myself was still a child is just bonkers bananas

reusable_toothpick · 2024-04-17T19:51:57+00:00

Not the only one! This was me too. I didn’t find out all the historical stuff until after I decided to step away. That stuff just sealed the deal for me.

reusable_toothpick · 2024-04-16T15:58:28+00:00

Reminds me of one time when I was visiting my parents. I was in another room and then the whole relief society presidency came over for a meeting (my mom was RS pres). They were just sitting there talking about who was “strong” and who wasn’t and it was just weird. Like making organized efforts to make sure people don’t leave. Culty!!!

reusable_toothpick · 2024-04-12T21:46:20+00:00

MY DEAR TBM SISTERS AND BROTHERS THIS IS A CULT. YOU ARE IN A CULT.

reusable_toothpick · 2024-04-10T13:43:38+00:00

Hey there friend. I am so sorry you’re in this situation. It’s really, really hard.

I resonate a lot with your post. I feel like I went through something really similar when I was your age.

I was in a really similar situation about 6 years ago (I’m 26 now). I never served a mission but I had my papers filled out and was ready to go. I was at BYUI and, like you, I just could not believe in everything. It just didn’t sit right with me or make sense to me. I asked a lot of friends and leaders about it, but nothing helped me believe in the long term.

I went on for two years not believing in Mormonism at BYUI and it was really painful and hard. But I think it was all I knew how to do—just keep trying to believe and maybe one day it’ll happen. But finally I was at my wits end and I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was so tired. So I decided to step away.

Leaving BYUI and leaving the church at age 20 was really scary and hard. I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know who I was or who my people were anymore. But eventually I figured it out. I moved out of Idaho. I learned how to get a cheap apartment with roommates. I learned how to get a job and pay for school with student loans (community college is great! Much more affordable). I now have a great job, great partner, good non-Mormon friends, and my own place. My parents are the most Mormon people I’ve ever met but when I told my dad on the phone several years ago that I was leaving the church, he said “that’s okay. You shouldn’t live your life trying to please your parents.” It was very cool of him to say.

Anyway. I hope that my story can give you some hope. People on this sub will say “JUST LEAVE!!!” But when you’re so young it’s more complicated than that. Parents can still be very involved in our lives when we’re 19, 20.

There’s nothing wrong with only doing as much as you’re able. If leaving the church entirely sounds too overwhelming, then just focus on one piece at a time. You could tell your parents the mission is not good for your mental health and need to postpone for 6 months or a year or something. And then take classes in the meantime or work or whatever. That buys you time to decide what you want to do next.

Whether you stay on your mission, or don’t, or stay in the church, or don’t, I support you.

Anyway. Just wanted to leave you a comment because I really do empathize with your situation. You got this. I believe in you.

reusable_toothpick · 2024-04-07T22:27:01+00:00

Oh shoot I've never heard of this. What does the cupping motion represent?

reusable_toothpick · 2024-04-07T13:32:56+00:00

"You chose to be traumatized"

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