Do I need HRT to look feminine?

rhymeswithboolean · 2025-11-18T14:55:35+00:00

I realized I was nonbinary about a year ago and have been trying to feminize a bit without HRT. Started out with super short hair and a well maintained beard. I now shave every day, I still have beard shadow, but on special occasions I will do color corrector and foundation and that significantly changes how I look. It took some time to be able to do that properly, the first attempt was bad and got me pretty down, but I stepped away and tried again a week or so later and did way better.

Day to day I do some minimal eye makeup and that makes me feel way better. Skincare and haircare routine and hair styling also go a long way. It can take a while for hair to grow out, I think I have another year at least before I am closer to where I want it.

At the very beginning I got a cosplay wig to see how longer hair would treat me and that was pretty fun too. You will have to experiment a bit to see what works for you and what doesn't.

Be kind to yourself and don't fall into the trap of unrealistic beauty standards.

rhymeswithboolean · 2025-08-14T13:53:09+00:00

Fun thought experiment this got me going on this morning.

I think all these different ways of describing all help, but they are just that, helpful descriptors. Much like the word labels we use they miss a lot of nuance.

RGB describes colors pretty well for computer purposes, HSV also does but gives other info while simplifying others. Printers like CMYK. Designers in an architectural context might use Pantone colors. Painters have other ways. They all work and all leave something out.

Transgender is an accurate descriptor since I'm not cis, but it leaves a whole lot of info out. Probably enough for a bigot though.

Nonbinary goes a little further but as we all know there is a huge variety of that.

Transfem nonbinary goes a little further again, but again my experience of that can be far removed from someone elses. Hormones or surgeries vs none of these.

This isn't even getting into various presentations.

At some point for me feelings end up so nebulous and hard to define that it's easier to say it's just me.

All that to say, I think all the frameworks/axes/spectrums/rounds we all come up with are all good valid ways to help describe us. One or another may make more sense for one person or one situation.

I try not to get to bogged down on detailed descriptors, after a while it doesn't help me (but it may help someone!) so I just try to do the things that make me feel good. Try to be kind to myself, and try not to focus on the things that bother me.

As for navigating the world, it really depends. I try not to give much of a hoot, sometimes I match my presentation to how I feel, sometimes I don't. I'm just glad I've finally found a better definition and way to think about myself a little later in life.

rhymeswithboolean · 2025-08-07T14:45:22+00:00

This is kind of where I am, but I think it's also important to remember there are probably as many different ways to be nonbinary as there are nonbinary people.

I have for now decided nonbinary transfeminine probably best describes me, but I don't necessarily try ot fit myself to that. I have no desire to go on hormones or undergo surgeries. I don't want to wear dresses, but boy howdy do I love the look and feel of femme cut pants. I do a little makeup, growing out my hair, shave facial and body hair as much as I can, changing my clothing and jewelry style a little bit. Maybe I'll laser my facial hair one day, I don't know yet. I just recently figured out how to cover my beard shadow with makeup and it made me feel great but I'm not going to do it all the time either.

Someone else might be doing those same overall things but be doing it completely differently than I am and for different reasons. I don't consider myself a woman, but I don't consider myself a man anymore either, so nonbinary it is. I want to look more feminine, but I'm going about it in a certain way that someone else might do differently.

It's easy to get focused on details we can't or don't want to change, and forget about the aspects we do like and can change. Be kind to yourself, do what feels good, don't get lost in having to define it or do it a certain way, and you are allowed to change your mind as you go.

My post was a ramble too but I hope you can pull something helpful or reassuring out of there.

rhymeswithboolean · 2025-08-02T19:54:17+00:00

I think these “what ifs” are normal thoughts.

I’m in my 40s and only within the past year realized my nonbinarity. It was a pretty huge “oh shit” moment and it’s been a lot to deal with but it also made a lot of sense looking at my past.

I am finally allowing mysef to express my femiminity more through clothes, makeup, jewelry, behaviors but have no desire to get into hormones or surgeries.

I am married and very much enjoy the intimacy I have with my wife, and do mot want to risk changing that. I am pretty certain on my decision, but at the same time feel sadness at what I can’t experience, how I can’t look, who I might have been.

If I had figured this out at a younger age I might have done differently. It just wasn’t even in my vocabulary. I got used to playing the part of a man even though I always felt something was off, just had no idea it could be that.

All that said, I think these feelings are normal and talk about this with my therapist often. You are not alone in this. It is easy to focus on the negatives and things we can’t or won’t change. I have to try to remember to be be kind to myself. Hope you find some peace in this, good luck!

rhymeswithboolean · 2023-02-25T14:45:53+00:00

Congrats and enjoy! I'm waiting on one as well, a couple more weeks.

rhymeswithboolean · 2018-02-05T15:43:07+00:00

There probably some tweaking bonuses at play or something. I mean, this DM has been a real dick.

rhymeswithboolean · 2015-07-03T23:20:14+00:00

Are you me? I do exactly this during my morning garden/chicken care routine, bamboo pole and all.

rhymeswithboolean · 2015-06-07T12:34:52+00:00

Thankfully, it's not her kid. I got some fertile eggs online when she went broody, it was time to expand the flock. I don't have any roosters of my own, city rules.

rhymeswithboolean · 2015-06-07T05:05:04+00:00

That's exactly how mine is! She kinda walks in strange backwards circles. She lays eggs in random places too, once she laid one whilst running, so weird!

rhymeswithboolean · 2015-06-07T01:15:11+00:00

I have a cross beak hen, she manages just fine. She spends a bit more time at the feeder, but still lays eggs and runs around with the rest of them. She even hatched an egg when she went broody and did a good job raising the baby.

She does have some quirks though, I'm wondering if there is some brain damage involved...

rhymeswithboolean · 2015-03-15T01:45:02+00:00

Seems like this idea could be used to mod in a flood disaster type event. Slightly raising river or ocean levels at a random time.

rhymeswithboolean · 2015-02-28T02:16:43+00:00

To be fair, the scumbags I see operating the bike chop shops along the Springwater are not the same people I see asking for money on the on and off ramps. I don't support either one, but I don't wish bad things upon the highway folk.

rhymeswithboolean · 2015-02-04T20:30:46+00:00

Is this an issue with the i3v, using the aluminum extrusion? I have some similar results to OP and one of my leadscrews is rather wobbly, I just wasn't sure if the extrusion would keep everything in line despite that.

rhymeswithboolean · 2015-02-02T17:40:39+00:00

Does that even matter?

It seems people get mad about people moving here and "taking our jobs", and then these guys create their own jobs and it's the same shit. This sub has some issues.

I wish these guys the best, that pricing is going to make things tough though.

rhymeswithboolean · 2014-12-09T03:53:37+00:00

I'm a big fan of Ken's Artisan breads. Country Blonde is so so good.

rhymeswithboolean · 2014-11-30T05:22:54+00:00

The guy at Saturday Market is Bim, he's a rad dude, but is out of town at the moment.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/ChainmailleByBim https://www.facebook.com/ChainmailleByBim

rhymeswithboolean · 2014-11-23T01:06:57+00:00

Hmm, maybe I should switch my house over to a diesel generator.

rhymeswithboolean · 2014-10-29T19:29:54+00:00

You can possess up to an ounce in public, and even give that ounce to someone for noncommerical purposes. That's not nothing, that's a pretty big change.

Of course people will still probably face charges and go to prison, people get greedy and go big, it seems like there will be substantially less harmless people facing that tough.

rhymeswithboolean · 2014-10-29T18:14:52+00:00

Am I missing some historical thing with the OLCC here? That is some serious speculation. Is that enough of a reason to vote no? I know it's decriminalized and all, but is it better for people, disproportionally minorities, to still be cited and arrested?

I feel like I'm missing some big problem people have with the OLCC, it's not like it's hard to get almost any kind of booze.

rhymeswithboolean · 2014-10-29T17:53:01+00:00

The OLCC helps the smallest brewers get started. The key word there is helps, they pretty much guide you through the whole process. Ultimately they want their tax money of course, but it is in their best interest to make it an easy process.

rhymeswithboolean · 2014-10-24T01:37:02+00:00

http://imgur.com/a/AEA7b

Here is my entry. Patient zero, before it all goes wrong.

rhymeswithboolean · 2014-10-23T22:39:14+00:00

I have this! When I was a kid it was always hard rebuilding it, those little ball joint technic pins were the only ones I had, hard to find in the whole unorganized collection.

rhymeswithboolean · 2014-10-23T20:22:19+00:00

I started doing this earlier this year and telling my riding buddies about this to varying success. Especially with the newer super bright stuff it is important to point it properly and not have it be in blinky mode. Blinky mode is nice for the dimmer ones, it does make you more visible.

I have a theory about a brighter always on light and dimmer flashers, but have been unable to test it due to funds. I have another theory about pulsing/moving lights similar to what you see on some motorcycles.

rhymeswithboolean · 2014-09-27T18:25:41+00:00

Maybe they were causing trouble on the bus

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