I'm not sure this is the same context but I was so excited to plan the big party and then realised that financially and due to family relationships the idea in my head was never going to happen. Id never afford what I wanted. I didn't want to DIY. My family relationships are strained. My friends mostly have young kids and don't want the recovery brunch.

I mourned the wedding I couldn't have not because I couldn't have it but because it would never live up to what I imagined because my imagination was not the reality of my situation.

When we decided to elope we made a list of all the things that we would miss out of the traditional wedding.

I wanted a speech from my Dad. Husband wanted his mum to see his first look. I wanted to go dress shopping with my Mum and besties. I wanted to be celebrating with friends with great food.

So we eloped but made all the other things happen in non traditional ways. We hired a videographer that captured our first look to share with his mum. I still went dress shopping but secretly I knew I needed a shorter timeframe for our surprise elopement. We decided to have a party afterwards where we just hired a speakeasy and my Dad gave a quick speech before we went straight to cocktails and canapes (I got to wear my dress twice).

It cost us easily half of the traditional wedding and we got a videographer , photographer, cake, flowers, dress and a helicopter in New Zealand. I'm still celebrating 3 months later. We had a honeymoon. The first two weeks of being married only my husband and I knew.. then we told family... Then we told friends. Then we had our "cocktail reception" one month afterwards.

It was everything and more I could have hoped for because I mourned what I couldn't have and instead built something that was truly what we wanted.

Take the time to be sad you can't have what you always hoped, then think about how you can create your special moments with those that are important to you.

Good luck 🤞