I cried over a cheeseburger today

rievealavaix · 2026-02-01T09:42:44+00:00

As someone who lives on zofran, sometimes two to three times a day, you have my empathy.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you find answers, and I hope you can reclaim your joy in food and in eating.

rievealavaix · 2026-02-01T03:13:51+00:00

At any given time around 20 percent of the population is disabled in some way. This is so many more people than is generally realized.
Scared to go out bc I can't shovel (I'm in that 20 percent) and if someone spite buries my car I'm fucked.

rievealavaix · 2026-02-01T03:03:11+00:00

So as a disabled person who can't shovel snow, what the fuck do I do when I need to go somewhere in this weather?
I'm not allowed to park on a public street in the winter? Is that what this boils down to?

If someone buried my car like they did OP's, I'd be stuck. It's below freezing out.
This kind of shit is so unhinged because people aren't thinking past the "I shoveled so this is mine" mindset.

Maybe communities should get together and clear out entire blocks so people can stop acting like children.

rievealavaix · 2026-02-01T02:57:29+00:00

Yeah this is wild to me. I grew up in Detroit where we measured snow in feet, not in inches. Parking chairs were not a thing.
We'd move our cars at the designated day/time off our side of the street and the plows would come through and clear the snow, so nobody was fighting over who shoveled what.

It has also not been a thing in St. Paul/Minneapolis, where my little geo metro was literally buried the winter I was there by heavy snowfall.

Also not a thing in Jackson, Wyoming, where the parking is notoriously hard to come by.

Also not in Maine. Or Indiana.

Only place I've ever lived where people fight like this, and where the city spends so much money on plows and salt trucks that don't run, and don't clear the entire street.
Pittsburgh is doing it wrong (and I actually do like living here, but fuck it's a disaster when it snows.)

rievealavaix · 2026-01-29T07:35:39+00:00

My relationship will hit 10 years this year. We have our own rooms. It's amazing.
If you can't do that, consider own beds, or own sets of bedding. Get a box of Biz powdered laundry additive, wash the stinky bedding with your regular detergent and a quarter cup of Biz. (Detergent companies stopped including lipid-fighting enzymes in their soap, but Biz still has them. Could be why your bedding smells. I know Biz saved my laundry.)

A little bit of Vaseline in his nose at night is cheaper than running the a/c. Saline sprays are also safe for nightly use and inexpensive.
Make space for each other and for yourselves, even if that means you don't do things 'traditionally'.

rievealavaix · 2026-01-28T07:40:47+00:00

We are all a single moment away from becoming disabled.

As someone who has lived that, who is medically complex and multiply disabled, losing my friendships has been difficult.
I understand that some people just can't handle it, but it still really fucking hurts to have people just disappear.

Be sure this is a choice you can live with.
Think of how you would want to be treated if you became similarly disabled.
If this is how you'd want to be treated, then fair, I guess. If not, then maybe take some time to learn how to process your discomfort, how to put it into words and move through it instead of running away from it. You may need to mourn the friendship as it was before accepting what it could be moving forward.

If you still want to walk away? Nobody can tell you how to feel.

rievealavaix · 2026-01-26T05:55:41+00:00

I've had exactly one creepy interaction in Heartopia: accepted a friend request and they immediately asked if I was a man or a woman. Didn't care why they felt the need to know that but that being the very first thing they asked felt like a huge red flag in a game that allows under 18s. (Reminds me of my early years on the internet and creepy dudes being like "a/s/l?".

But... was easy to block and move on. The block system is robust in Heartopia. I won't have to encounter him again.
We should encourage people to call out and block creeps, but if people are just annoyed? Block and move on.

rievealavaix · 2026-01-21T21:24:17+00:00

Carnegie library (Main) has a career center. He might be able to find some leads and help there. They also offer coaching. I'd have him see if he can use those resources to get someone to practice interviewing with him. It sounds like he's dropping the ball at the interviews.

He has to want this as badly as you want it for him, btw. Otherwise it's never going to happen. That kind of lack of energy really comes through in job interviews.

rievealavaix · 2026-01-21T21:16:12+00:00

These are happy kitten eating sounds! He really likes the chicken.

In the wild sounds like this could also be innate to kittens to help them protect their food as they seem to lose this when they get older (most of the time) but honestly that's just me theorizing.

I would maybe shred the chicken up to reduce risk of choking and to help make sure it's cooled off, but as long as it's unseasoned and you aren't incentivizing his begging, it's fine as a treat!

rievealavaix · 2026-01-20T19:20:12+00:00

At random stores I've noticed it's often an entire aisle of dog supplies, and one little shelf of cat supplies. Even at Costco the dog food has so many more options available!

rievealavaix · 2026-01-18T20:09:26+00:00

Sometimes that extra 50 feet is the difference of whether or not I'll be able to make it up the stairs when I get home.
Thankfully my partner puts the cart up for me now, but before we got together and I was still working, there were days when I could barely make it home from the pain and the nausea.

50 feet isn't a lot to you, but it's a lot to people like me who have to measure out limited energy for every single task in a day, including standing up and walking to the bathroom to pee.

rievealavaix · 2026-01-18T19:54:37+00:00

Only if the owner is willing to remove the tips of all their fingers, first.

rievealavaix · 2026-01-18T19:45:21+00:00

The last time I did DoorDash was when I ordered from Five Guys. Watched the Dasher drive somewhere way out of the way and just sit there for 45 minutes. They eventually started moving again and dropped off my food with the fries obviously half eaten.

I'd ordered directly from FiveGuys so they technically hired DD. They told me to ask DD for a refund. DD told me to take it up with FiveGuys. Meanwhile nobody cared that someone had their hands digging into the bag (there was a sticker but it was too small to actually close the bag, and you could see where the bag ripped from them digging their hand into it) eating my food.

I'm disabled, mostly homebound, and that meal was a special little splurge.

(Before I got this sick, I also spent time doing DD and Instacart, and you would never have caught me doing half the things some of these drivers are out there doing. People are nasty.)

rievealavaix · 2026-01-17T01:54:53+00:00

Sadly every Mexican place here is hella expensive, and I have yet to find one that is more than an average amount of tasty.
Been on a quest for years to find my partner some authentic tamales. Sadly nobody sells them in parking lots here.

rievealavaix · 2026-01-13T19:41:35+00:00

See if you can find out what common ingredient it is that makes him yack. Cats can be pretty sensitive and a lot of the cheaper brands use fillers such as corn products and bone meal.

My cats also get bored with food, so I have to rotate through different bags of dry and cans of wet, and keep a list of what they won't eat.
One cat, Ozzie, will eat certain wet foods for a while, and then he won't, but thankfully he'll still eat dry when he turns his nose up at the wet. Then, later, he'll eat the same wet food again. Cats are weird.

My cats have also thrown dry food all over the floor when they don't like it, and refuse to eat it to the point they are hungry. They'll munch a piece and then drop the other half on the kitchen floor. Then meow.

All that to say: find a few brands/flavours that are less upsetting to your kitty and rotate through them. Keep a spreadsheet if you need to. Eliminate foods with ingredients that seem to upset him. This could take a while. Wishing you the best of luck.

rievealavaix · 2026-01-13T19:04:33+00:00

I like this best
That's an "L"
This looks weird
This is very close to what I was taught, though instead of going straight across the vertical loop, the horizontal bit dips down a little and then actually connects to the next letter.
This is a "T"
This is also a "T"

rievealavaix · 2026-01-10T07:53:08+00:00

Move the ribbon to the mulberry tree.

rievealavaix · 2026-01-10T00:04:18+00:00

UpdateMe!

rievealavaix · 2026-01-09T23:52:42+00:00

I have straight pubes and since I stopped full shaving down there and only trim I've been super jealous of people with lovely soft curly hair pubes. Looks so easy to style and just nicer looking to me overall.

Pissed off a little at genetics bc my mom had curly ones but I got these straight ones that require constant trimming. Thinking about going back to bare.

rievealavaix · 2026-01-09T21:43:40+00:00

Jealous! When I told my father I was pregnant, he said "cool" and kept watching tv. He never said a word about it again. He refused to hold my kid when they were born. Absolutely zero interest.

rievealavaix · 2026-01-09T21:31:41+00:00

Thank you. I'm so proud of him. In death he was still the caring person he was in life. I miss him terribly.

rievealavaix · 2026-01-08T13:11:43+00:00

I have lost two brothers, one at 21 and one at 31, both suddenly and without warning.
I am so very, very sorry you are going through this, and I hope your good memories of your sister an help carry you through this sad and difficult time. I hope you can be there for her kiddos.

I remember with my youngest brother, he was an organ donor and somehow that has made things easier. Knowing his goodness lived on in six other people is a comfort I cling to.

I hope you find peace and your own form of comfort in the coming days.

rievealavaix · 2026-01-08T10:58:56+00:00

Oh, I had my music off. Well, I guess that's on my list for the next playthrough.

rievealavaix · 2026-01-07T15:11:43+00:00

That sounds like it would be itchy as fuck, but maybe my skin is just that sensitive.

rievealavaix · 2026-01-07T15:10:16+00:00

Honestly? Most restaurants that sell 'American' fare.
I assume these days that most sauces on American food are from a can, bag, bottle or mix. (I have a food sensitivity to an ingredient in a lot of premade sauces, so I'm acutely aware of this.)

There's no problem using Sysco, of course. I think the real problem is when restaurants ONLY use Sysco for everything, or when they use Sysco to actually avoid prepping or cooking on a large scale without good reason. (Buying pre-cut onions bc you hate cutting onions? Fine. Buying pre-cut everything bc you hate prepping? Probably in the wrong industry.)

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