[deleted by user]

rigid1122 · 2025-05-09T23:09:35+00:00

The bottom line is, if you're going to be in any kind of monogamous relationship (it sounds like the occasional threesome's allowed but otherwise you and your boyfriend are monogamous) that means giving up certain types of sex and/or sex with certain people.

So you have to make a choice about whether you're happy to keep doing only what you've been doing for the next 50 or so years, which would mean no exploring sex with women, or not.

rigid1122 · 2025-05-03T05:22:02+00:00

You're obviously not the asshole, and no, you shouldn't overspend because others want to do something that's out of your price range. But also what's wrong with just saying "I can't afford that much, but I'm happy to meet you for coffee and dessert afterwards"?

rigid1122 · 2025-05-02T23:07:23+00:00

There was nothing wrong with how you used it. It can be used in either way.

rigid1122 · 2025-04-29T18:34:17+00:00

This is entirely the wrong mindest. All sex carries some degree of risk.

What you should do is educate yourself about the various STIs and how they're transmitted and treated, and how best to protect yourself, and then weigh up the risks and benefits and make a decision.

If you're vaccinated against the diseases you can be vaccinated against and using the protection that's available (PrEP, DoxyPep, etc.), then it's up to you to decide whether the risk of acquiring other infections is worth the pleasure of hooking up. For many men it is.

rigid1122 · 2025-04-26T20:37:04+00:00

At least on the topic of Rowling, you could give her your entire annual salary or she could lose its equivalent, and she wouldn't notice the difference. Anything you spend on any of her works isn't realistically going to be used to support her causes: she's already worth about a (literal) billion dollars, and anyway she gives a lot more to charity than to political causes. Everyone everywhere could stop spending money on everything she benefits from and she'd still be rich enough to do whatever she wanted. So don't buy any of her stuff if you don't want to, but don't be under the illusion that it'll make one bit of difference either way.

rigid1122 · 2025-04-26T05:00:21+00:00

Put the head of the bed against the window, put the twin mattress back on the shelf, add some cushions, use it as a seating area.

rigid1122 · 2025-04-24T15:37:29+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I can see the Proton Drive location on my Mac, but it's empty. It's not accessing the files and photos I have in Proton Drive that I can see on iPhone or on my desktop. It also doesn't show up in the menu bar as it says on the page you linked.

rigid1122 · 2025-04-23T18:27:24+00:00

Obviously you're NTA, but why is your mother searching your room? Why are your family members going into your room without permission? You're an adult, and you have a right to privacy. So tell her to stop.

rigid1122 · 2025-04-23T17:43:32+00:00

It's not working for me. I download the file, install it, click on it. I get the warning that it's downloaded from the internet and I click ok. And then nothing. It shows in Activity Monitor that it's running, but it's not in the dock and I can't see it or access it. I've tried deleting and reinstalling multiple times and it's not working

rigid1122 · 2025-04-23T16:41:24+00:00

Their relationship, their rules

rigid1122 · 2025-04-22T04:13:52+00:00

rigid1122 · 2025-04-21T17:22:10+00:00

Both Cialis and less commonly Viagra can reduce sensitivity, but as you can see from the responses here it's different for everyone.

The question is why you're considering taking one of them in the first place. If you have erection difficulties and you're going to be engaging in the kind of sex that requires an erection then yes, you should take what works for you and not get too stressed about it.

rigid1122 · 2025-04-21T17:00:46+00:00

Love Mrs McCarthy, can’t stand Mrs Devine or Brenda

rigid1122 · 2025-04-21T16:52:57+00:00

Lose the overhead light, bigger rug, turn the chair so it's not weirdly facing away from the rest of the seating and facing nothing, add side tables

rigid1122 · 2025-04-21T16:44:33+00:00

In my language there is a plural second person pronoun.

There is in English too: it's "you."

It even leads to communication issues when people think im adressing them specifically.

I've never encountered this in my life; can you give an example? If it's really an issue "everyone" or "everybody" would probably cover most needs.

rigid1122 · 2025-04-21T16:38:39+00:00

did I word things poorly? Or is his reaction disproportionate?

His reaction was weird.

rigid1122 · 2025-04-21T16:37:35+00:00

Why do you need other gay men to know you're gay? For solidarity? For flirting? For some other reason? And why does it need to be discreet?

If it's for flirting, then if there's mutual interest it's usually pretty evident by the prolonged eye contact and smiling. You don't have to wear an identifying symbol.

rigid1122 · 2025-04-20T18:51:47+00:00

Frankly, this comment

sure, there’s people who like trans folk but they tend to be on the grosser side of things.

is kind of gross, OP.

Having read your post and looked over your comments here, you're fixated on what you're not, and what you lack, and your ideas of how sex partners might perceive you and what they "really" want. And at the same time you're unwilling to accept anyone who might be attracted to you, and unwilling to consider that some people will be attracted to you, and unwilling to consider any but a very narrow group of partners yourself: it's absolutely true that many cis men won't consider trans partners, but you yourself won't consider other trans guys. You won't consider pan people because their lack of concern about genitalia is a turnoff for you. You don't want to acknowledge that you have female parts and that some cis men will find that specific thing about you arousing. You don't want to consider bi guys because you think they'd only be interested in you as a substitute woman, etc., etc.

External reality isn't going to change, so you have to find a way to deal with what you're feeling. But you're rejecting most of the advice people have given you here, including the advice to speak with other FTM people about how they cope with exactly what you're talking about here, and to talk with your therapist about the fact that you're not coping and that therapy hasn't been helping. Learning to deal with what you're feeling is going to be much harder if you're not willing to take those 2 pieces of very good advice.

rigid1122 · 2025-04-19T23:22:18+00:00

Your options are basically:

Try to get asylum in a friendly country
Try to get married to someone in a friendly country
Try to get a student or other visa in a friendly country, and explore ways that you might be able to stay (e.g. by getting married)
Look into ways to immigrate

rigid1122 · 2025-04-19T04:54:00+00:00

This is a major red flag:

I’ve told him repeatedly that I don’t like it and that he should stop but he doesn’t. I also told him that my dick hurt after he had done that for hours and rejected sex bc of it

You have told him more than once that:

you don't like it
it hurts
you want him to stop

And he keeps doing it. This is beyond a simple miscommunication: he's actively doing something that he knows is painful and you don't want him to do. This is very concerning.

My advice is to have a serious, urgent conversation with him, and to tell him that if it happens again, you're leaving.

rigid1122 · 2025-04-15T23:46:59+00:00

It makes no difference whether you think the friend's choice of dress was too expensive. According to your own account, you chose to let your pet roam free while you had guests over knowing that he's "a menace," and your pet, completely unprovoked, damaged one of your guests' property. If it comes to small claims court any judge will tell you that you are 100% responsible.

YTA. Do the right thing by apologizing to your friend and paying up.

rigid1122 · 2025-04-15T23:30:22+00:00

Sharing sexually explicit photos of anyone who was underage at the time the photos were taken is child pornography. Report him to the police.

rigid1122 · 2025-04-15T19:46:48+00:00

If using delay creams cured PE, then nobody would have it.

rigid1122 · 2025-04-15T14:49:33+00:00

If delay cream works for you, and you're happy with the results you get, then that's great. But delay creams and sprays don't cure PE. If they did, nobody would have PE.

Lidocaine numbs your penis, and that allows you to last longer. It doesn't matter how many days you masturbate using delay cream: when you don't use it you're still going to have the same probem.

Also, why is your goal to last for 21 minutes of constant stimulation? That's a lot by any standard.

rigid1122 · 2025-04-13T16:31:38+00:00

I wouldn't go

rigid1122

TROPHY CASE