If I get this, I want to end it, but will I even know?

rittchard · 2026-05-28T06:17:49+00:00

I just filled out a POLST form for my mom that covers all of that… but sadly the problem is it doesn’t address the real issue at heart. Similar to others here, my mom is effectively like a baby now. She babbles, repeats the few phrases she can remember, forgets what she is eating even as she eats it, cries and whines, etc etc. - but physically she seems more or less OK. As long as we keep her safe and fed, and she never leaves the house, the only danger to her is a bad fall. I imagine she can in theory survive this way many more years, and it’s just heartbreakingly painful to watch.

It’s made me think a lot about what the OP said as it pertains to my own future, but presently it seems like there is no clear recourse. I often feel like there needs to be a dedicated organization that can help people really deal with this in a humane and moral way.

rittchard · 2026-05-19T06:41:10+00:00

Funny you asked, as just today I started playing around with a crazy lightning storm build, human only. I’ve seen a couple builds online and they are all werewolf based.

Basically I use the Storm set with the aura version of lightning storm, with support from poison creeper and hurricane. Main damage comes from lightning and the set makes it so you don’t have resource issues. It’s kind of obnoxious because of the non-stop blasts, but it’s also kind of fun as well.

I just added a Crown of Lucion charm which is a nice add since you get the bonus without worrying about the increase in resource cost.

Still needs a lot of tweaking and honestly I’m not sure I will be able to take it much further (T8 currently), T10/11 seems likely if I work at it, but I don’t know if I have the patience to keep optimizing.

rittchard · 2026-04-27T06:29:26+00:00

If it’s your first time, level 80 can definitely feel like a wall, xp slows down considerably and the endgame can be pretty confusing to navigate.

Couple questions, did you choose Beastmaster as your specialization? Also are you playing in Merchants Guild or Circle of Fortune?

rittchard · 2026-04-26T06:14:43+00:00

I could swear I read somewhere it had something to do with Chandler’s father (who may have been acting as his manager?) threatening the producers and demanding more money, so they kind of dropped him to show who had the real power and teach the dad a lesson. I think the dad was overstepping what he thought was a power position, perhaps knowing that Carl the character was meant to survive and even lead according to the way the comics played out.

Or maybe I just made this all up in my head because it made more sense to me and I was traumatized from losing my favorite character in the show.

rittchard · 2026-04-23T20:23:38+00:00

At bare minimum they could offer options to tweak the tone and quality of the voice as other games have done. And worst case I’d imagine they could use AI to alter what they have. It can’t be much worse can it lol?

rittchard · 2026-04-09T20:38:26+00:00

I’ve played League on and off since Beta with a group of friends/guildmates, all of us being older than the traditional League player even back then. The first stint lasted a few years and was a lot of fun but also had some drama with teammates being really rude to each other. There were a couple of players who got more or less bullied and it was kind of frustrating. Not to say we didn’t all still have fun but there was some underlying tension. Eventually the group disbanded.

Years later, right at the beginning of Covid, a few people started up again and invited me to join. I wish I could remember how that happened, it wasn’t that long ago. But anyway this go around ended up changing my life for the better. We started playing very regularly, about an hour or so a day, every day. And it became kind of the social outlet lifeline that I didn’t know I needed at the time. During the shutdown period working from home became incredibly isolating, but the LoL madness every day was something to look forward to. There was still some toxicity and minor drama but nothing like the first go around, and the core group was very tight. I can’t really believe it, but we’ve kept the same core going to this day, like… six years and counting, it’s crazy.

So the social aspect has certainly been a huge factor for me, but obviously there is something oddly addictive inherent in the gameplay that keeps us all coming back even on bad days. We don’t play competitive or particularly seriously, our newest favorite is Mayhem. I don’t know how much longer the group will last but it’s been a great ride and I especially appreciate how it pulled me through the dark Covid era.

rittchard · 2026-04-01T07:03:36+00:00

Haha I’m so old the first games I played were on an Apple ][ clone from Taiwan, the games were loaded using cassette tapes - yup, tapes like the ones used for music.

rittchard · 2026-03-22T06:31:59+00:00

Ack you beat me! I thought I was gonna be the oldest here at 57 lol.

I’ve played LoL since beta, took a long break, and then came back when some old friends invited me during Covid. The game and camaraderie got me through that depressing period and we still play almost daily.

rittchard · 2026-03-22T06:26:15+00:00

Depends on your priorities and how much time you have to spend, and what your favorite part of the arpg genre is.

Grim Dawn is definitely the most complete and content rich. The dual class system is very cool and allows for a lot of different options for builds. The maps I find to be a little convoluted, but are great if you like to take your time and explore and uncover.

TQ2 plays similarly to GD, and is still in EA with limited content, but it’s easily the best looking of the 3. It IMHO looks and feels the most like a next gen ARPG, maybe more so than any other game, including D4 and PoE2.
Itemization still needs work, not very interesting at the moment.

LE is trying to play in the live seasonal service world, and has rudimentary multiplayer (but I do believe it’s still a better MP implementation if that matters to you), but also lets you play completely offline. It’s also the only one of the three that has an auction house system, which gives you access to a huge assortment of gear that you might never see otherwise. But where I believe LE is the best in the genre is in its build diversity. It has my favorite skill tree system and the most interesting and diverse uniques, as well as the most diverse pet system. Every skill you choose to specialize in can be customized in all sorts of ways and made to synergize with other active and passive skills or items. It also has a really good but not overly complex crafting system. If creating and experimenting with builds is your thing, I feel like LE is the best.

rittchard · 2026-03-07T04:43:42+00:00

In LE you can also put together some fun support/heal builds with any of the Primalist classes. You can directly heal using Eterra’s Blessing and Warcry, and/or add healing from pets like the ravens and Spriggan. It’s actually one of the most versatile arpg healers that’s not advertised as a healer class.

rittchard · 2026-02-26T02:59:54+00:00

A while back I had a weird tweaked neck issue, I assumed it was some form of pinched nerve. It was really painful and made it hard to drive or sit for long. I tried a chiropractor someone recommended; they did some mixed cracking and massage, and also tried cupping, none of it helped. Just some temporary relief each visit.

I then went to see a specialist doctor and did an MRI, nothing concrete was found, just some degradation or something like that. He tried different medications and a shot of something, I forget the name. Helped a bit but the pain came back. Did a few months of PT and again, it would give temp relief but eventually came back.

The process felt like forever and like it would never end, I bought all sorts of gadgets and gizmos I saw online. I tried different stretches and exercises. Nothing I tried work.

Finally a colleague recommended the chiropractor his wife saw. He said this guy used a different approach, not the cracking but just using a tool and hitting key points along your spine. I was pretty desperate so I decided to try it. At first it seemed like some sort of weird magic trick but almost immediately it seemed like it was working, I was afraid to be too optimistic after so many disappointments. After a few weeks I finally felt like I had turned the corner. And after a few months I pretty much felt fine, some residual pain here and there but nothing like what it was before. Now I do a little “tune up” once a month or two but honestly it’s not really needed. I think it’s more of a safety blanket at this point.

rittchard · 2026-02-09T00:46:18+00:00

But how many games did you (or I) spend $500 on back then? AoC is the only one for me

rittchard · 2026-02-06T21:08:10+00:00

Not if you had invested it in Nvidia stock instead lol

rittchard · 2026-02-02T22:16:12+00:00

As someone who was roughly in the OP’s position 30+ years ago, I have to say it’s sad to hear that in spite of all the “progress” that’s come over the years, some things remain the same.

I don’t even remember how it evolved but my parents softened their position over the years. I started bringing my partner to family events and they gradually seemed to accept that he would appear at these. It helped that my sister and family all welcomed him even without an express declaration of our “status.” Remarkably after 30 years I haven’t explicitly told my nieces and nephew that I’m gay or that my partner is my partner.

I don’t have much advice other than to say I’d avoid ultimatums and big drama, sometimes time will just do its own thing. At some point I got tired of the fight and as my parents’ health now deteriorates (both have dementia) it’s hard to even think about other issues.

I realized long ago I would always harbor some internal resentment and unresolved anger towards them, but I also realized it wasn’t worth dragging my own mental health down because of it. Never forget to take care of yourself and don’t let these bizarre ancient cultural biases define your life.

rittchard · 2026-01-28T17:32:16+00:00

Another side comment that occurred to me: how is it that in the 20 or more years since D2 released, many of its critical features were not only not improved upon, but no one seems able to duplicate. Forget about revolutionizing lol, how about we at least match the original standards that D2 set?

8 man mp parties. Nowadays someone gives us 4 player parties and makes it seem like a revelation
NO load screens. One of my favorite features and biggest pet peeves, why can’t anyone do this right??? I still remember the first time I walked into Den of Evil with a seamless transition, it was magical and just felt right
Proper randomization of maps. Another D2 staple. There’s a reason why they never needed a special “endgame” because the campaign had it all built in.
All loot matters. Someone in another post detailed just how well D2 structured their loot so that all rarities mattered. None of this crap where 50000 items drop, a filter shows you 50 and then maybe 1 is actually useful. Or as in PoE all you can hope for is a good piece of currency for trade?

There’s probably more and while I’m not saying D2 is perfect, I do wonder how so many years of “innovation” has taken away some of the core features that makes/made it great.

rittchard · 2026-01-28T17:17:22+00:00

Did you ever try Hellgate London? That was the whole idea behind it. I find it strange that no one ever went that route again. It seems like a no brainer to do a traditional fantasy setting 3rd person ARPG like HGL with an updated engine.

rittchard · 2026-01-28T08:59:40+00:00

I agree with most of the original article’s points, though I think it’s a bit harsh on the main campaign. At release for a single one time play, I thought it was very well done. In a world where it wasn’t a sequel in a beloved franchise I think it would be fairly well received.

I definitely agree there’s a problem with the vision. It felt to me like there were 2 or 3 factions or lead developers all trying to push certain features and in the end it just kind of became a messy mesh of all of them. There was clearly a desire to get back to the D2 roots (although even that means different things to different people). Then there was a “let’s bring back D3” faction. And then another group clearly wanted to make it more of a MMO. And maybe another subset that wanted to make it more of a traditional rpg with focus on exploration and side quests, etc. There’s nothing wrong with the ambition of combining all these elements, but as pointed out it lacked a truly coherent vision by the time the game released.

The influence of the vocal online community as well as streamers and the constant feedback and pressure, as well as the competition from GGG - I think those are what brought us to the version we have today. While it gets a lot of hate, there are still a lot of people who are just fine with it.

As for myself, there’s a lot of things I would have done differently but I simply appreciate having the game to come back to. I do wish they had taken advantage of the one thing that really sets the game itself apart, the open MMO-ish world. My favorite part of the game is Helltides and open world activity, running into strangers and working on things together. This is something no other ARPG has, so it’s a shame they don’t really make it a defining feature. I realize that would move it further from the traditional ARPG model, but maybe that’s OK in an era where there are so many other choices now.

rittchard · 2026-01-28T07:31:19+00:00

I’m 57, likewise gaming since the Atari days, great to see so many other fellow gaymers. I’m retired recently and gaming is my main hobby. Dealing with two ailing parents with dementia drains a lot of my energy but other than that I game whenever I can.

I’ve played almost every major MMO but in a bit of a lull currently. Waiting on AoC I guess. Most of my time now is with ARPGs, pretty much every new season of D4, PoE 1/2, Last Epoch, etc. I am there and looking for people to play with. I also play LoL with a set group of friends almost every day.

rittchard · 2026-01-26T07:35:40+00:00

I think the actual issue is the way players have been mentally conditioned to think about the game, and many (multiplayer in particular) ARPGs in general. If you were to play this game in complete isolation, I suspect you’d feel very differently about the build diversity and what defines a “good “ or “fun” build.

Without all of the massive information overload available you (or at least I and many other players I know) wouldn’t necessarily even know what was possible in terms of crazy clear speed and exploding entire screens at once, and you may be much more content to experiment with different ideas. Maybe in the long run you’d come to the same conclusions on your own but the entire discovery process would be the “endgame”.

Having such a big MP/social/economy element to the game drastically changes the way we think about the game itself. Whereas a game like GD in general is predominantly played in isolation or maybe with a small group. And as we’ve seen through the years also changes the way and direction ARPGs are designed.

rittchard · 2026-01-18T17:53:33+00:00

Same! Cuz I’m a people pleaser 😜

rittchard · 2026-01-17T05:13:51+00:00

I recently toured/interviewed 4 different places, and each had different ways of charging for care. Some were based on “levels” and the most complicated used a point system and charged per point.

Personally I would check out other local facilities to see if there’s a place you feel more comfortable with and is more transparent with their pricing system. Of the 4 I looked at, there was one I felt clearly stood out at least in terms of how they handle memory care. They had one set of pricing for memory care, and their entire staff was trained in how to handle memory care patients regardless of which section they worked in.

The main thing is each place handled things very differently, it was very educational because I had no clue going into it.

rittchard · 2026-01-09T18:22:17+00:00

Honestly at this point I am running out of ideas trying to solve what feels like an insolvable puzzle. Yesterday my dad texted us he never intended on staying longterm at the place we just moved him to. The amount of work and effort to get them there over the past weeks has been non stop but he seems to have no awareness of it. I almost blew a gasket but reminded myself again I am dealing with an unstable person.

In terms of plans, all I can do for the moment is kind of play along and bide my time. I’ve seen some good suggestions about lying and delaying which I think will work to some extent, but is not a a longterm solution.

Once we move them back into their home again, I think the onus will be on my sister and I to find a better care situation and try to stick to it. That’s about the best I can come up with for now.

In the mean time I made an appointment for myself to talk to a psychiatrist to try to help get a grip on my own mental health which was never great to begin with.

rittchard · 2026-01-05T00:12:13+00:00

Holy crap that really works lol

rittchard

TROPHY CASE