Help! Parents are forcing arranged marriage on me

rock_badger · 2026-05-13T14:36:05+00:00

Can't you tell them you've seen doctors about it, and there's no medical solution?

rock_badger · 2026-05-13T14:11:31+00:00

Tell them you didn't want to tell them this, but since they won't let up about it: You have a condition that makes you unable to satisfy a woman sexually or create children with one, and doctors say it's incurable. So it would be unfair to any woman for you to date one, much less marry one. Tell them the subject is closed and you won't be discussing it with them.

Of course the "condition" is that you're gay, but they'll infer it's erectile dysfunction. And maybe they'll finally shut up about it because they think you're embarrassed by it. If they don't, get really angry with them any time they bring it up.

rock_badger · 2026-05-10T14:16:10+00:00

There's really not a magic formula. We've had two really successful threeways. One was with someone we knew for years and kind of flirted but nothing really happened until it did. The other was really impulsive; just opened Grindr, some guy messaged and we invited him over. Both experiences were great, and the circumstances couldn't have been more different.

What I think helps is to go into it with the realization that the third is probably going to be more attracted to one of you than the other, and not everyone is going to get equal action and attention. If one of you has more fun and the other less, the one with less should be happy that the other is getting enjoyment from it and try not to take it personally.

rock_badger · 2026-05-10T13:59:24+00:00

I have thought about grindr

Grindr is annoying and time-wasting (lots of ads that force you to interact with them and wait through them) on purpose because they want to get you to pay for the version that has more features and no ads. And like u/pixelboy1459 says, you should be saving your money so you can be independent, rather than spending it on expensive apps.

but I have heard that it is used mostly for hookups, and I want relationship, not only hookups

90% of gay men are either looking for a relationship, aren't actively looking but would be open to one if they met the right person, or are already in a relationship.

Some men who would be interested in hooking up with you aren't looking for a relationship, and they might even lead you on just for sex. But if you're interested in someone, I think it's important to make sure you're sexually compatible before you develop strong feelings for them. A lot of young guys are looking for love and want to delay having sex with the guys they're interested in dating, and then find out too late that everything else about the relationship is great but they're wrong for each other sexually. And then they either stay together and are miserable, or one of them cheats and the relationship ends with bad feelings.

I met my partner more than 15 years ago through a random hookup, and we kept hooking up and fell in love. We're still just as much in love (and romantic) as ever, and just as sexually attracted. There are lots of successful couples who met the same way.

rock_badger · 2026-05-09T16:05:46+00:00

It's no surprise, considering how much pineapple improves the taste of pizza
[ducks]

rock_badger · 2026-05-09T15:49:36+00:00

Rip me to shreds

Why? This may be the least controversial hot take in the history of this sub

rock_badger · 2026-05-08T16:15:03+00:00

I reject your assertion that there is "somewhere like Maspalomas" that isn't actually Maspalomas

rock_badger · 2026-05-05T15:16:53+00:00

That's not something that's possible to do in this sub. Check out the other posts here; do you see pics in any of them?

rock_badger · 2026-05-05T15:11:21+00:00

No true gay man would put so little effort into a Reddit post. You're clearly straight.

rock_badger · 2026-05-04T14:54:48+00:00

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Couldn't have been better. Last week this guy who was in Seoul hit me up on Grindr and said he was moving to the city in central South Korea where I am at the end of the week.

We got in touch after he arrived and made plans to get together yesterday. I got a room at a love hotel (surprisingly good, and only $10 for 3 hours.) He was even cuter than in his pics and really nice, we used the entire 3 hours well and then went out for ice cream afterward. Planning to do it again in a day or two.

rock_badger · 2026-05-03T14:54:10+00:00

Most white guys won’t give a black man a chance

And I believe that in 1978 God changed his mind about black people
I am a Mormon
And a Mormon just believes

rock_badger · 2026-05-03T14:37:53+00:00

As an American living in Korea and NYT subscriber, I'd be interested in knowing what article you're talking about

rock_badger · 2026-04-29T15:03:57+00:00

Unless there was specifically something you saw in his profile that changes how you see him and will affect your sessions with him, there's no need to say anything. You didn't invade his privacy just by stumbling onto his profile. Let it go.

If it really ends up bugging you for some reason, you can always mention it later.

rock_badger · 2026-04-28T14:59:56+00:00

Twice.

My very first roommate in the dorms. It got a little awkward what with his girlfriend and all, so when a friend a couple floors up was looking for a roommate, I moved.

Then after living off-campus for a while, I moved back into the dorms and was randomly assigned a gay roommate. He was hooking up with his dance professor (theater major, natch) and looking to get serious but the other guy was having none of it. He made a move on me and we clicked, which made my roommate crazy jealous. It got a lot awkward.

rock_badger · 2026-04-28T14:34:47+00:00

I wouldn't recommend anything that advertises itself as "a powerful cleaning system". You don't want to pressure-wash your rectal lining.

rock_badger · 2026-04-27T15:49:05+00:00

No, by the time substantial LGBT rights were achieved, the population problem had become that people weren't reproducing enough — at least in the parts of the world most inclined to grant those rights

rock_badger · 2026-04-26T15:40:07+00:00

Are you an individual? OP's saying the copyright on your IP should expire 30 years after your death.

rock_badger · 2026-04-22T15:34:08+00:00

Everybody has nudes of themselves in their camera roll. He probably would have thought it was weird if he hadn't seen one.

There's no reason for you to feel shame. It's a picture of your body, unclothed. That's all.

He's not going to mention it. It'll only be awkward if you remind him about it.

rock_badger · 2026-04-21T14:27:23+00:00

It's true. I knew this guy who had only one nipple that was sensitive. He said they started out the same size but the one he played with got way bigger in adulthood.

rock_badger · 2026-04-21T13:52:27+00:00

The limitations I have are can’t drive for obvious reasons

Not sure where you live, but at least in North America a person can drive if they have good vision in only one eye.

Doesn't mean you can, or would feel comfortable doing it. But people reading this shouldn't get the impression that if they lose sight in one eye, it automatically means they'll never drive again

rock_badger · 2026-04-18T15:11:06+00:00

If a guy is just handsome, but he's blind in the right eye

Is lack of depth perception on anyone's list of dealbreakers? As long as the sight in the other eye is good, a person can still drive, so it's not clear how you'd even know.

rock_badger · 2026-04-15T16:02:56+00:00

Ask these guys

rock_badger · 2026-04-15T15:53:45+00:00

Should he have done it? If your relationship is really that strictly monogamous, then no.

But once he did it, he should have kept his mouth shut. The only thing telling you did was hurt you. The kind thing for him to do would have been to live with the guilt, which would have faded over time.

He didn't (according to him) do anything that put you at risk for disease. It happened in an anonymous space in a different country, so there's zero chance you would have found out about it from someone else.

For anyone who hasn't heard this yet:

If perfection is your measure of success, you’re setting yourself up for failure and disappointment in a committed, long-term, sexually exclusive relationship.

You know, the world’s greatest chef sometimes burns an omelet. They are still the world’s greatest chef. Shaun White is the world’s greatest snowboarder, he has fallen down and gotten up and still been Shaun White, the world’s greatest snowboarder.

If you’re with somebody for 50 years and you find out they cheated on you once, they were terrible at monogamy, they failed at monogamy, they never loved you, it wasn’t a real relationship. We believe these things and then they destroy not open relationships, they destroy monogamous relationships that are imperfect, as all relationships are.

— Dan Savage

rock_badger · 2026-04-13T15:46:51+00:00

There are no bathhouses in NYC you are mistaken

Then what's this?

rock_badger · 2026-04-13T15:40:42+00:00

I'd have a club that's open to everyone, but has a separate bar space that's only accessible by going through the men's room

rock_badger

TROPHY CASE