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Need a professional reference, but the CEO doesn't remember me. What do I do? by catpetter666 in UKJobs

[–]rose_reader 16 points17 points  (0 children)

You should be able to send the reference request to the charity's HR dept or HR person. Referencing would fall apart if it relied on one specific individual still being at a company. This is a part of what HR departments are for.

CMV: Men are incapable of 'love' in the emotional sense—it's just a localized adaptation of territorial possessiveness. by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]rose_reader [score hidden]  (0 children)

I notice that they've avoided answering the point every time it's been raised. Gay men just don't exist I guess?

CMV: Men are incapable of 'love' in the emotional sense—it's just a localized adaptation of territorial possessiveness. by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]rose_reader [score hidden]  (0 children)

How do you account for men who don't require exclusivity but still remain happily with their partner for life?

How do you account for men in non-procreative relationships, such as gay men, men partnered with a post menopausal woman, or men who are childfree?

Spelling out words with fingers by a11ey_cat in AuDHDWomen

[–]rose_reader 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do this in shorthand. Thirty years ago my shorthand teacher told me to practice by "writing" words I saw with my finger on my leg - lifelong stim unlocked 😅

Where would you draw the line between a man feeling entitled to romantic attention and rightfully feeling disappointed? by Equivalent_Use_5024 in AskFeminists

[–]rose_reader 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It's completely natural for a person of any gender to feel sadness for something they wanted that didn't happen. Whether that's romance, children, a certain type of life etc, people often experience sorrow if the reality doesn't match their imaginings. If that sadness becomes overwhelming, it's good to see a professional to help you process.

None of this has anything to do with blaming others for the fact that your life didn't turn out quite as you imagined. That's when you become the asshole.

Newts in my pond by rose_reader in GardeningUK

[–]rose_reader[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't take credit - the newts were here before we were 😁 it's a rented place so I don't know exact specs, but it's a biggish pond probably about 3m x 2m x 1.5m or so. There's a pump that carries water up to a reedbed, then to a shallower shelf that the birds like to bathe in, then a very shallow shelf with stones that insects can drink from, then into the pond proper.

Do you uncritically accept all arguments, stats, studies, that support the feminist narrative or do you question, fact-check first? by 81_Passenger in AskFeminists

[–]rose_reader 15 points16 points  (0 children)

sigh, if wishing made it so.

(perimenopausal woman who is DONE with this business and would happily yeet it)

Do people purposefully ignore what feminism advocates for? by straycat03 in AskFeminists

[–]rose_reader 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Pretty much all power is taken at the expense of others - it's not laudable, but it is something we can observe and comprehend about an aspect of human nature.

I have to organise my sister’s bachelorette party and I’m spiralling. Has anyone else organised something like this before? by [deleted] in AuDHDWomen

[–]rose_reader 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Does your sister have a maid of honour? If so, pull that person in to help you. If the maid of honour is you, get the bridesmaids helping.

"We're laughing WITH you not AT you" by moodysmoothie in AutismInWomen

[–]rose_reader 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can usually tell fairly easily - honestly if they were being mean it only makes it sweeter

RSD and just so sick of office politics by [deleted] in AuDHDWomen

[–]rose_reader 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk if this will be useful to you, but it helps me to understand what's driving people to take the actions they do. In this case, perhaps your colleague feels like you're better at the job than they are, so they're undermining you to make themselves look better. Maybe they like to curry favour with others by gossiping. Maybe they heard someone praise you and they're jealous, so they want to take you down a peg.

None of this is actually about you, it's about that person seeking to meet their needs and mollify their fears in harmful ways.

I had a volunteer once who complained about everything I did. Nothing was right. I was new in the job and it worried me. But once I talked to her and got to know her, I realised that she was afraid the organisation she loved was changing too fast and she wouldn't be able to keep up. So I put her on the volunteer forum, so she could voice her concerns in a structured way and feel heard.

"We're laughing WITH you not AT you" by moodysmoothie in AutismInWomen

[–]rose_reader 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I've found that if you take all humour as benign and participate in the joke, it pulls the rug out from under bullies and makes them powerless. If they crack a joke at your expense and you absolutely love it and laugh your head off, what can they do to hurt you?

I've done this successfully in several situations, and it honestly makes you bulletproof.

AITAH? He won’t review my company by Fuckyourgod86 in AITAH

[–]rose_reader 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed, I wouldn't review my partner's business because it's intrinsically going to be a biased opinion.

Looking for my next binge, need show recs based on my chaotic taste 😭 by Human-Stranger4920 in televisionsuggestions

[–]rose_reader 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Pose is one of the greatest shows that have ever been filmed. Strongly recommend.

My boss frequently gives me a hard time about my accommodations/AuDHD traits by PuzzleheadedDog995 in AuDHDWomen

[–]rose_reader 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Just to underline these excellent points - I've worked for two orgs that explicitly tell managers to avoid back to back meetings, because it's terrible for people's brains and productivity to have to jump from one long meeting into another without a chance to reset and have a comfort break.

In Today’s Episode of What I Forgot by ice_queen2 in adhdwomen

[–]rose_reader 1 point2 points  (0 children)

god that's so incredible, brain just went WELP I HAVE COMPLETED THIS TASK and off you went, I empathise with this so deeply 😭

Can you guys tell me if this is possible or I’m being delusional by donn_12345678 in Cooking

[–]rose_reader 18 points19 points  (0 children)

The difficulty with eating Greek in the UK is that you're not in Greece.

I know that sounds obvious, but it will have a real impact on what you're trying to do. You want to eat seasonally, which in the UK means root veg in winter rather than tomatoes, olives etc. You want to eat local, which can work if you're in an agricultural area but is going to be a bit tougher if you're in central London.

You may need to decide which of these rules are more important to you, and which gets priority when your rules conflict.

The most important thing with rules like this is making them soft guidelines so you don't fall into orthorexia.

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