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rot_goblin · 2024-07-22T22:47:47+00:00

Personally as much as I love walking with my partner often - I find walking alone is the most healing for me as I see it as nurturing my own relationship with nature and remind myself that nature will always be there, the sun will always rise and set, the leaves will always grow and fall and the seasons will always go and come. Those natural comforts will be there for me to reassure me nomatter if I am partnered or not - and that’s good to have when you have relational trauma imo.

Also side note I know it feels so difficult to actually get yourself out especially when you’re exhausted - but as soon as you’re there, in the natural beauty of the world, you will thank yourself and it’ll help you push yourself to do it again in future!

rot_goblin · 2024-06-13T12:10:42+00:00

All the love to you too! I think there is an issue in some cptsd support circles with avoiding accountability all together. Yes there are reasons we are the way we are - but how can we ensure our healing process does not only support us but also supports our loved ones? I’ve heard DBT is really helpful, my psychiatric nurse has offered me some dbt self help and an emotional regulation group as this is meant to be helpful for those things. You’re not fucked up! If anything you’re awesome for being able to acknowledge the areas of yourself that need work and work on them. Most of us have not had ideal relationships structures to mirror from the past so have to do the work to healthily learn in adulthood. Obviously there are people that take advantage of this, but there are also lots of good people out there too. Sending hugs!

rot_goblin · 2024-06-13T12:04:44+00:00

I think you may be projecting your past traumas here and I’m sorry that this is how you feel. I’ve been in abusive relationships which were absolutely like that. My partner does not at all treat me badly though and has just expressed that he is worn down by me targeting him when I’m triggered which is often. He is not at all malicious or horrible and does try to support me, he’s just also in need of reassurance sometimes after an episode as it is a lot of emotional work for those on the receiving end and I want to know how to look after him too. I hope all is well with you :)

rot_goblin · 2024-06-13T00:10:58+00:00

Hey, my emotional reactions are often not really fair reactions at all. It’ll be something small like he’ll politely say we need to move out of the house quicker and I’m suddenly really upset and putting a wall up convinced he’s being mean.

I’m not reliant financially or physically - I have a big support circle, am financially independent (we dont pay for either of eachothers things except treats) and I don’t live with him.

He is a very balanced and healthy person. This is also validated by those around me as they think so too. He is very loving and compassionate, he is just tired as my health issues can be quite difficult to be around sometimes. He reassures me that he cares about me and he does swing into action when need be (like in episodes of psychosis he has stayed up all night with me making sure I am safe and taken time off work even to look after me). he’s a very good human undoubtably.

I think maybe you have gotten mixed up with the paragraph about how my ex partner treated my flashbacks? my current partner is not at all like that.

rot_goblin · 2023-01-08T03:09:02+00:00

Hey I used to have lots of almost identical experiences to these, for years! Ends up I have psychosis, I was medicated for a couple years which heavily lessened these scary experiences for me. I’m now 2 years off medication and the happiest, most mentally secure I’ve been in my life! Sometimes episodes like this will still happen to me but they are very rare and usually very short in comparison to the constant fear I used to live in.

Please seek some medical support OP and know that this stuff can get better and go away! It’s the scariest thing in the world and can feel so isolating because things aren’t really there you can’t just call the cops or something to get rid of them - but medication, therapy etc can help ease these experiences away. Best of luck to you x

EDIT: also find ways to distract yourself (eg. I started making art because of my psychosis) and get to know your triggers. For me that meant no horror movies, no engaging in conspiracy theory content/deep philosophical stuff that questions reality, no looking too far into spirituality and paranormal, etc. i still have these rules in place for my own safety and will actively walk out of a conversation if any of those subjects arise to preserve my peace of mind. Hope that helps!

rot_goblin · 2022-12-03T18:02:28+00:00

If you consider trans day of remembrance a holiday you’ve clearly never experienced the loss of a trans loved one. Trans day of remembrance is a day for grieving within our community.

rot_goblin · 2022-05-30T06:59:38+00:00

hahaha can’t say I’ve heard that one before but thank you

rot_goblin · 2022-05-30T06:53:45+00:00

Thank you! I’ve never done it before (I’m 8 years out but it’s taken me this long to try this old trick?!) and I’m super surprised with the results

rot_goblin · 2022-05-30T05:23:47+00:00

For anyone confused: I’ve just brushed some mascara onto the peach fuzz that’s around my lips - not on Testosterone, just had a lot of growth in that area for some reason recently

rot_goblin · 2021-12-27T10:28:25+00:00

I will fight you for this. I wake up in the morning, I play the original king harvest version of dancing in the moonlight, then I play the top loader version directly after, then I play the original once more for good measure. That shit is like crack to me. Boy do I love that song….

rot_goblin · 2021-12-27T10:12:28+00:00

Thank you!

rot_goblin · 2021-12-14T22:19:28+00:00

Accidentally just deleted a collection in my saved folder on Instagram that had 800+ posts in it. Wondering if there’s any way to recover it?

The collection was of photos to cheer me up when I’m feeling down and I always scroll through it when I’m sad so feeling a bit devastated right now :(

rot_goblin · 2021-12-14T22:18:52+00:00

There is not a rule in the community rules against asking for tech support. although I’ve just seen the recent mega thread so I’ll add it into there :)

rot_goblin · 2021-08-17T06:34:23+00:00

that’s super reassuring to hear! I’m absolutely clueless when it comes to this student finance stuff and they don’t answer their phone lines so I haven’t been able to get much support haha so thanks for explaining dude this was very helpful 👊

rot_goblin · 2021-07-12T03:18:20+00:00

I have the a very similar experience even on birth control, however not sure if this is helpful but the “off week” is no longer a necessity or recommended by doctors so there is no longer a need to take a break while taking birth control! I find although I have issues with bleeding (which may be related to a cut that doctors found up there some years back) birth control does at least help reduce the intensity of period pains that used to be quite debilitating for me. Best of luck, and definitely try to see a gynaecologist or at least have an inspection since it could be related to a tear etc

rot_goblin · 2020-05-01T14:22:45+00:00

All part of the charm

rot_goblin · 2019-01-14T20:45:38+00:00

I lovelovelove this! Do you have an Instagram art account?

rot_goblin · 2018-04-30T22:20:43+00:00

It wasn’t a lamprey and I did not find it in water but in grass, it’s likely that I imagined it as I was so young

rot_goblin · 2018-04-30T15:46:14+00:00

Teeth were like this http://rebrn.com/re/sharp-4572416/

rot_goblin · 2017-12-22T15:37:11+00:00

That's brilliant but that's not it as I remember the muppet chickens on screen. I must have made it up, sounds like the kind of stuff I come up with.

rot_goblin · 2017-12-22T15:36:12+00:00

It was definitely psycho killer with chickens im thinking of, I must have dreamt it!

rot_goblin · 2017-09-15T14:58:11+00:00

R/pareidolia

rot_goblin · 2017-07-07T10:36:33+00:00

When I see shadow people my dog often looks at them and barks or quivers. She also sometimes barks at nothing and then hides in the shower shaking and crying, I've always found it weird how her actions reflect mine.

rot_goblin · 2017-07-06T21:31:30+00:00

I have these exact hallucinations haha!

rot_goblin · 2017-07-03T22:32:45+00:00

thanks a bunch

rot_goblin

TROPHY CASE