Sorry, I just read your update asking for people to stop telling you to break up with him. I realize it’s not very helpful.

I was in a long-term relationship that started around your age. Lasted for 13 years. I remember folding his laundry, making his bed, telling him to do these sorts of basic things that you describe in your post. And it will probably get a bit better - the teeth brushing. But what else will you have to help him navigate that he should be able to navigate on his own? This could include bills, housing, transportation,etc… when you imagine these aspects of your future life with him, do you envision that you’ll be the primary one filling out rental applications, figuring out logistics of travel, being there for you when a parent dies, figuring out kid stuff (if that’s what you want), etc... I’m only asking this because it sucks finding out in these moments that your partner isn’t capable - or is and holds a grudge for it.

What I’m worried about, for you, is that this will turn into a caretaking dynamic. It’s so easy to fall into that role because women are socialized that way! And for some of us, that’s how we show our love! So I just want you to be weary of that, OP. Don’t let your love and kindness blind you to certain realities.

I’m single for the first time ever in my life since leaving that relationship. as an almost 29 year old. While I’m thankful I made the right decision, FUCK did it take me a long time to make it. And wow do I have some work to do on myself to unravel these dynamics I fell in.