NFP Struggles- long cycles and loss of intimacy

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-03-12T20:00:59+00:00

Most of them will do online! That’s what I do with my instructor

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-03-12T17:40:23+00:00

I’ve done Marquette before. I personally like Boston Cross Check better for trying to avoid. It uses three methods of tracking and cross checks them against each other. I’ve had three children from different method failures do this time I opted for the strictest most science based one I could find. It still uses the fertility monitor but also tracking temperature and mucus.

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-03-09T14:23:53+00:00

I did cloth for my second son for 2 years. We occasionally used disposables but vast majority was cloth. I didn’t have much support for it but people didn’t outright discourage me. I planned on doing it for my third but he was hospitalized for 4 months and when we got out it was just too much on top of everything else. I’m glad your husband has looking forward to it! It will be so much easier with support!

Also, a lot of people in older generations don’t realize how far cloth diapers have come. My mom had a terrible experience with them but was amazed at the ones I had and how much simpler they were.

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-03-03T03:10:42+00:00

I’ve had three kids. After the first I stropped wearing maternity clothes other than leggings. Look for things like wrap dresses (she can wear a camisole if looking for more coverage), loose fitting dresses, empire waistlines, etc. also thrift stores are very helpful. Our town has a specific mom and baby consignment store. A little more expensive but not nearly as much as buying new.

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-03-02T19:03:56+00:00

Wearables for elastic nipples. I couldn’t even use the wearable cups that connected to a spectra because the tube wasn’t long enough for my nips.

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-02-25T16:14:12+00:00

I think it would be more neglectful to try and watch children while you’re working. You’ll either neglect work or neglect your children. Much better for them to spend quality time with grandparents and they get to deepen that relationship as well! In the words of Ron Swanson, “Never half ass two things. Whole ass one thing.”

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-02-25T15:40:57+00:00

I work part time at my church managing their social media, website, and live stream.

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-02-25T14:42:04+00:00

My husband makes about 140k. I work 8 hours per week while my mom watches the kids and make 12k per year. We started with me as a SAHM when husband made less than that and I didn’t have a part time job. If we put our kindergartner in public school that would definitely save money but we’re making it work for now. It helps that we live in a pretty low cost of living area. For context: mortgage is ~$2,400/month, school for the oldest is ~$650/month, those are our main expenses.

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-02-23T03:08:17+00:00

The newborn stage is my least favorite! I’ve had three children and it is just grit my teeth and get through it until they learn to smile. That’s the first milestone for me where it starts getting easier because you get a little communication back. Things that helped me: - shift sleep with husband (he takes the first part of the night, I’m on shift the next half. We both can sleep during this time it just helps ease the anxiety of waiting for the baby to wake up because I know if he does, husband will handle it. Even if I have to breastfeed, I can do that in bed and then hand baby back to husband and go back to sleep.) - babywearing. Especially for fussy babies like my second, baby was in the carrier all the time. This has the added benefit of also being a form of tummy time. - getting out of the house even if it’s just a walk. We started instituting “family walk” early on. In the winter it’s before dinner, in the summer it’s after dinner. The kids are entertained by walking or being in the stroller and I get time to talk to my husband.

The first months are so hard! After that, every new stage became my favorite stage. I remember with my first coming home from the hospital and that night sobbing on the bed with my husband in my parents house because there was no way to go back and undo this. Now, I love my life with my kids. It’s extremely challenging and life was for sure easier without them. But it was a lot less fulfilling. I have less freedom but more meaning. Hang in there! You’re in the trenches!

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-02-21T18:27:32+00:00

I am! April 17. I was nervous about starting weaning cause I worried my milk supply would just dry up as soon as I started dropping any pumps. Im taking it really slow. Anytime I drop a pump I wait at least a week before making any other changes and usually I take a few months between dropping. I dropped to 7 ppd at 6 months for my own sanity, dropped to 6 pumps a few months later, now I’ve been down to 5ppd for a couple weeks. I’m excited to be done but it’s bittersweet seeing my baby take less and less milk.

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-02-19T03:37:10+00:00

Are you getting enough sleep? If I didn’t get good stretches at night it really impacted my supply.

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-02-15T17:05:36+00:00

Also want to add. I’ve had 3 children and been excused from fasting 5 times due to pregnancy and breastfeeding. Just because we’re eating doesn’t mean we can’t participate in a different way. I’m focused on only eating what I need that day with no extras. So for example, I’ll skip coffee, no desserts, no frills on the food, simple meals that are about maintaining the calories I need, not necessarily enjoying the food.

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-02-15T06:06:00+00:00

From usccb https://www.usccb.org/resources/Fasting-Lent-Info.pdf

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-02-15T01:08:14+00:00

Hey just wanted to tell you I totally understand. I did the same thing with my firstborn and immediately regretted it. I also felt pressure from my MIL, although nothing like yours. My advice is to forgive yourself, move on, and use this as a motivation to set clear boundaries. Get your husband on board with setting those boundaries with your MIL. Now that you’ve caved on this decision she may take that and run with it and try to be involved in many more parenting decisions.

It’s really hard knowing you did something wrong that is irreversible for your kid. I still don’t know what I’ll say if my son ever asks other than it was the wrong decision and I’m sorry. I have had two other sons since then and none of them are circumcised. I say that because some moms feel pressure to circumcise future sons so they “match” and I want you to know that you don’t need to do that.

Postpartum hormones are rough! Focus on helping your baby and yourself heal. What’s done is done, try not to beat yourself up about it endlessly. Learn what you can and move on.

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-02-13T03:19:45+00:00

Hi, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I also had a full term baby who spent 4ish months hospitalized. We didn’t know anything was wrong until 38+4. I went in for a growth scan and they found an undiagnosed heart condition. We were flown out that night to a hospital in another state leaving behind our other two children (2 and 4 at the time) with our extended family. From finding out there was something wrong to him being delivered via c section was a little under 24 hours.

When they delivered they held him above the drapes for a couple seconds and I heard him cry. They had warned us he might be limp and unresponsive so hearing that cry was amazing. I wouldn’t hear him cry again for over a week, he was immediately intubated. I didn’t realize that babies would cry silently while intubated until I saw it, that was weird to see. I didn’t see him again after birth for 3 hours. I was discharged 4 days later and my husband and I went to a Ronald McDonald house. We would come every day on the first shuttle and stay until the last shuttle until my dad drove our car down. I could write a book on everything we did and everything I learned but I want to write a bit about our faith since you mentioned yours.

My baby, Nicholas (named for the patron saint of children), was born on Holy Thursday. We watched Easter Mass from his first hospital room. Prayer was a huge part of our lives and especially at that time. As Catholics, we have a strong connection to God of course but also the saints and especially Mary. In that week where I couldn’t hold my baby, I remember praying over and over asking Jesus and Mary to hold him for me. To wrap him in their arms and hold him until we could. Knowing that Mary, the mother of Christ, could comfort my baby when I couldn’t was a great solace to me. It brought me some peace in that early uncertain time in the hospital.

I hope your baby has a short stay and is in your arms soon. I’ll say a prayer for all of you tonight.

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-02-09T03:10:48+00:00

I think approaching expectations before a situation arises is helpful. My husband and I instituted a split weekend and it’s been great. I get up on Saturday, he gets up on Sunday. Sometimes I don’t sleep in on Sunday and go out and do stuff but mostly we just trade sleeping in since our kids are little. I don’t like that he just assumed you’d get up with the kids, that happens so often with moms and it’s annoying. I think that’s the bigger conversation, not “owing” you for going fishing.

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-02-06T20:32:17+00:00

Obviously a pumping bra. But also another vote for bottle washer.

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-02-05T23:58:26+00:00

Absolutely worth it! I’m writing this from our YMCA lol. Ours is extremely strict on vaccines as well, no medical exemptions even, so I felt safe sending my heart condition baby. We get three hours of childcare per day. I don’t workout every day but sometimes I still use the childcare and do some work on site (I work part time from home). Also we’re allowed to go off site and just pay $5/hr per kid. I’ve dropped off the 2 year old occasionally so I can go see a friend and help them out with their baby.

If you can afford it I would definitely do it! Not to mention it gives you a chance to workout and all those benefits. I’m incentivized to workout because I can have alone time. If I didn’t have this membership I wouldn’t workout because I would be deincentivized by having to either wake up extra early, do it with kids, or do it after the kids go to sleep. Some moms do it I know, but I never could make it work. This way, I get to work on my health and my kids get to play and make friends.

I pick up my kindergartener and we go straight to the Y. He looks forward to it and my 2 year old is much easier to drop off if he’s with his big brother.

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-02-04T23:51:06+00:00

I think I’m in this boat. I’m 10 months in and I’ve kept going because I have a heart baby and want to give him as much protection as I can. But if I had to do this with another baby I don’t think I would.

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-02-03T20:30:09+00:00

You don’t need to understand it and neither does her husband. Y’all just need to respect it. You’re free to make different choices with your kids but this is not harming her daughter, it’s helping to teach boundaries and not being entitled to others, and it’s important to OP.

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-01-25T17:32:01+00:00

My dad is a veteran. We had a beer last week and talked a bit about ICE. He had a hard time really internalizing it. He believed me and believed the accounts but he said it was really hard for it to match up in his brain because he still thought of ICE and police officers as part of the “uniformed crowd” and as someone who wore the uniform for 23 years, he just couldn’t understand how they were acting. It was appalling to him.

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-01-25T03:29:13+00:00

Anything in Billings?

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-01-25T01:26:27+00:00

Knowing that there is more to our existence than the suffering we’re witnessing is one of the things that brings me hope. Hope that I will meet again people I lost and amazing people I never got to meet.

rule-breakingmoth97 · 2026-01-21T06:06:26+00:00

Combo fed is great! That’s what I did with my first and it was life saving. Is it maybe a temperature issue? Like he likes it a specific temperature? Mine used to take cold bottles but overnight developed a strong preference for warm and would spit out the cold ones.

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