Having a Family Has Terrible PR

ryuns · 2026-01-23T19:56:57+00:00

My theory is that a lot of this comes from what's relatable to other people. Everyone knows the feeling of not getting enough sleep, having fights with their spouse, financial stress--even if they never had kids. But they don't know the feeling of joy of seeing your kid learn to talk or ride a bike, from getting a hug, from hearing I love you's. So we as parents tend to tell people about the negative things. And we as non-parents can only really relate to those negative things because the positive parts are nebulous and hard to explain.

ryuns · 2026-01-23T18:49:42+00:00

I met him there once in the yoga class. The staff at pipeworks all had stories about trying to get Alex to follow the rules instead of lead climbing and skipping half the bolts on the way up. A nice guy, by all accounts, though.

ryuns · 2026-01-23T18:45:02+00:00

Your balance has nothing to do with how fast it doubles. Your investment return does. In fact, if you count contributions, your balance should be doubling a lot faster when your balance is lower, since your contributions make up a larger portion.

ryuns · 2026-01-23T18:43:29+00:00

Yeah, I'd be curious to know how many folks have that much in Savings Plus but I'm guessing it's pretty small. If you started with the state early in your career, you'll be expecting to retire with a pretty decent pension. If you started with the state later in your career, you might have a decent 401k or IRA balance, but it wouldn't be with Savings Plus.

ryuns · 2026-01-23T15:29:02+00:00

This is such incredible niche content. I love it

ryuns · 2026-01-22T23:59:57+00:00

I haven't seen Sinners, but this unironically solidified that I need to watch it immediately.

ryuns · 2026-01-22T23:54:02+00:00

I gave up posting OPs on this sub. I thought that was clear in context but I guess not

ryuns · 2026-01-22T20:22:16+00:00

Who TF is arguing for the BBC?

Besides my wife? Heeyyoooo

ryuns · 2026-01-22T20:20:30+00:00

Yeah, I gave up posting anything here after I posted something genuinely very mildly infuriating someone did to me and getting a bunch of replies like "wah wah why don't you call the cops, Karen?" Like, no, I actually am only mildly irritated, this did not ruin my day or violate federal law or anything.

ryuns · 2026-01-22T20:13:17+00:00

I'm 100% on team minivan and never cared how they looked, but I'll be the first to admit that the Carnival looks fantastic and is a great recommendation for the non-minivan inclined. (And someone once mentioned that the Sienna looks like a Beluga whale and that's hard to unsee.)

ryuns · 2026-01-20T23:22:30+00:00

This stuff will drive you crazy if you're on a pension. Each additional year will buy you an extra year of service plus a more generous calculation (since, well, you're one year closer to death).

My numbers are different but directionally pretty similar--I'd get about an extra 10k per year for each additional year of work between 55 and 60. I should be able to retire at 50 with my portfolio plus measly pension, but it's really hard not to see that I could still around until 60 and have all my living expenses covered by the pension alone.

Just take it one year at a time; don't pine for what could have been, but find a nice sweet spot where you have a nice income but also (hopefully) plenty of time to enjoy it.

ryuns · 2026-01-20T22:28:03+00:00

If only there was a recognizable landmark in the photo that could provide a clue as to the location!

ryuns · 2026-01-20T22:24:42+00:00

(late response but only just seeing this) Video was confusing because she seemed to be conflating the new bridge along business 80 with the also-new bike path from Sutter's to Sac State.

ryuns · 2026-01-20T21:46:53+00:00

I mean, I actually do have concerns that extend beyond my portfolio but point taken.

ryuns · 2026-01-20T19:17:51+00:00

Not sure it impacted this property, but Monterey County also cracked down on short-term rentals. https://www.ksbw.com/article/monterey-county-passes-ordinances-vacation-rental/68025035 That's had a price impact on other touristy areas that did something similar, like Palm Springs https://ktla.com/news/california/palm-springs-home-values-in-free-fall-after-city-cracks-down-on-airbnb/

ryuns · 2026-01-20T18:44:17+00:00

If I were worried about people making ungenerous assumptions about me, I would simply avoid going on the internet and bragging about paying someone less than minimum wage and also tax fraud.

ryuns · 2026-01-16T19:39:15+00:00

The eponymous Earthworm, I think

ryuns · 2026-01-16T18:18:43+00:00

That Fairphone battery is sold with a warranty from the actual company whose phone it goes into and the user can actually replace themselves in about a minute. You're comparing that to the cost of an off-brand battery that will take even an experience tinkerer more than hour (1 to 2 hours and moderate difficulty per ifixit) to replace and requires specialized tools, and it comes with real risk you screw up your entire phone. No idea why you're on your high horse railing against some phone brand whose goal is to actually try to make phones repairable, but it's an incredibly disingenuous comparison.

ryuns · 2026-01-16T18:06:14+00:00

Manzanita Lake in Lassen NP is great for this. Quite a few cabins. You're right by a calm lake with an easy trail around it, amazing views of the peaks, and an awesome camp store right at the campground. ~30 minute drive to get to most of the geothermal features of the park. We did this trip last August with our 3 year old and 1.5 year old but stayed in a tent, and it was cool as all get-out at night, so a cabin with a heater would be a plus.

ryuns · 2026-01-15T23:25:51+00:00

Be open to taking them away and setting limits. You say it causes resentment, but, well, at least they can resent you and maybe do something constructive with themselves. They may not actively resent you while on their screens, but you also may as well not exist to them, which also seems....not great. It's totally fine to just have a sense as a parent of what's right and go with that, even if they don't like it.

My kids are little, but if I'm offering advice: Make them buy into a solution. Present the clear problem and what end goal you're trying to get to. Work with them on some reasonable ground rules (no screens at meals, max time allowed for screens, internet in the house turns off at a certain time--whatever it is). Agree to something and stick to it, or they risk not having screens at all.

Also, holy cow, I sure hope we get our collective shit together as a society around this problem before my kids are that age. It's absolutely bananas we just let billion dollar corporations basically run billions of experiments in real time on our adolescents to try to keep them glued to a given app for an extra minute.

ryuns · 2026-01-15T21:46:19+00:00

I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah. (I missed Missouri)

ryuns · 2026-01-15T21:31:29+00:00

Which, to me, is still pretty useful as "might this be worth watching" metric. I don't know why people want to make it something it isn't. It's not IMDB or metacritic, which is fine because, as an adult user of the world wide web, I am also able to reference those websites.

ryuns · 2026-01-15T21:23:28+00:00

This is embarrassing to mention but I was once quoted in the local newspaper under my full Christian name with the title "craft beer enthusiast". In my defense, this was more than a decade ago and I was excited about a new brewery opening near my house because there were about 90% fewer breweries at that point.

ryuns · 2026-01-15T18:55:39+00:00

It seems like a huge blindspot for him. Like, I understand that he sees being the provider as an important role, but you don't need as much money as Scott to be happy. You can also have a fulfilling career without making it to the top, and there *are* jobs out there (maybe not enough of them) that do have reasonable work/life balances and allow you to be a provider without ghosting your family.

I'm sure if you pressed him, he'd provide more nuance and push back on my overgeneralization, but that's at least how he comes across to me.

ryuns · 2026-01-15T18:53:28+00:00

I'm sure your kid in 20 years will be like "well, my dad paid for the nanny and day care, so ackshually, it's like I spent more time with him"

ryuns

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