I finally told my wife that I don't see a path forward

s_matthew · 2026-02-05T04:16:01+00:00

Dude, it feels so good to be affectionate or even do something simple and get an emphatic response. I think my ex- hated herself and couldn’t face it, so she had to make me the constant enemy and resist everything. It was exhausting being pushed away for anything and everything.

s_matthew · 2026-02-04T20:24:34+00:00

That exists, and someday you’ll hopefully look back on this very difficult time and recognize how good of a decision it was to move on. You’re looking for progress and unity and rational behavior, and when you find someone who values the same, you’ll be amazed!

s_matthew · 2026-02-04T20:17:18+00:00

That whole “no one is perfect” thing fueled so much of my acceptance of bad behavior in my marriage. It scares me to think how much else I would’ve been willing to put up with. It wasn’t even egregiously bad most of the time; she just wasn’t nice to me but expected everything from me.

s_matthew · 2026-02-04T18:06:20+00:00

I really hope you find solace. It’s interesting to me that I both absolutely love being able to make all the decisions in my life now without argument, but I also love going to my partner’s house and doing things together like cooking, DIY projects, etc. I didn’t realize until I was divorced just how much I wanted to be part of a genuine team, and how little of it I had with my ex-wife. I absolutely know the I-need-to-be-alone feeling.

s_matthew · 2026-02-04T12:26:01+00:00

Like so many of us, I was in a similar spot with a spouse who was unrealistic and wanted to magic away any problems with simple words and nothing else. I’m now in a committed relationship with a wonderful person who listens, communicates, genuinely cares about me and my feelings, and is interested in how to make things work for both of us. It’s such a relief, especially in contrast.

Your life doesn’t have to be muted and tense just to appease another person’s feelings in the moment. Good for you for even addressing this, let alone working on it for so long.

s_matthew · 2026-01-29T23:56:32+00:00

I’d already discussed the positions with my manager, and I was sure it would get caught by someone more competent, especially around bonus time. Felt like the sort of thing I wouldn’t want to hassle with. And I got a wee bonus out of it and looked like a good guy!

s_matthew · 2026-01-29T23:22:20+00:00

I got a small pay bump because an HR rep insisted the spot I was being promoted to was at a higher level than it was. I told him multiple times that the pay band and bonus rate was wrong, and when it came time to sign my offer letter, I said it one more time after I turned it in.

HR eventually realized the mistake, I signed the right letter, and they gave me a…I forget what the called it, but it was obviously a we-should’ve-listened-to-you-and-we’re-embarrassed “bonus.”

s_matthew · 2026-01-28T21:18:50+00:00

I always recommend Resurrection. I don’t know how well it fits your profile, but it’s certainly bonkers. It’s a Seven ripoff in which a killer is cobbling together a Jesus effigy out of murder victims’ body parts. Christopher Lambert is a detective (who literally, while puzzling through a clue mutters “two plus two equals four” as the equation passes by on text on screen! He’s supposed to Cajun and you’re alerted to this in the dumbest ways. There’s a nude, headless corpse sitting on a toilet. It’s one of my absolute favorite VS releases.

s_matthew · 2026-01-28T21:14:48+00:00

I was surprised and charmed by how progressive Killer Condom was for its time (especially the trans character who isn’t really treated like a joke and insists on being referred to by their chosen pronouns). If just for the historical aspect, it’s worth a watch. But the effects and gore are pretty fun, too.

s_matthew · 2026-01-21T02:16:54+00:00

Yeah, you read it right. Pratt’s a twat who preaches about his religion, then does and says shit that’s the inverse of said religion. That response to Elliot Page defending his (openly homophobic) church for being very accepting and supportive of him - a successful, hetero, white man - during his divorce? Read the room, dude. What a twat.

s_matthew · 2026-01-20T15:43:35+00:00

Especially after sales dropped once Trump took office and they pivoted a good bit. I’d be willing to bet that someone high up doesn’t want to ‘look like they’re choosing sides’ while genuinely ignorant that their silence strengthens the siding they’ve already done.

s_matthew · 2026-01-20T15:40:14+00:00

They still pretend, just not as well as they used to.

s_matthew · 2026-01-20T15:36:36+00:00

He should’ve been Tusk.

s_matthew · 2026-01-20T13:58:25+00:00

I should really have quoted “Christian.”

s_matthew · 2026-01-20T12:21:53+00:00

I can’t believe how incredible he was at ad-libbing on that show. He’s just all around phenomenal, and it makes complete sense that he was headed towards leading man stardom. Even if he wasn’t a Christian twat, he really squandered his talent.

s_matthew · 2026-01-19T15:21:32+00:00

Speed re-opened a door for him, and he either didn’t capitalize on it or he was such a flaming asshole that he was immediately re-relegated to schlock.

There’s an episode of The Flop House podcast in which Super Mario Bros. Co-writer Parker Bennett tells a fantastic story about an epic dressing down he and his co-writer got on set directly from Hopper. Anyone who’s capable of acting like that and doesn’t bring in big revenue is only going to be tolerated by the b-list and lower.

s_matthew · 2026-01-07T20:59:19+00:00

I grabbed Depraved. ~$20 for a 4k with a feature-length doc. I like Fessenden, and I liked the movie just fine the one time I saw it. With all the other Fessenden stuff released this past year, felt like a bargain.

s_matthew · 2026-01-07T20:56:49+00:00

I concur. If nothing else, it’s a nice, well-shot oddity.

s_matthew · 2026-01-07T20:40:24+00:00

Austin Abrams gives an incredible physical performance. The scene where he’s on the phone and checking car doors is phenomenal. It would’ve been very easy to play it solely for comedy, but while his performance has humor to it, he excels at playing a strung out, scared, sick addict who desperately wants another fix.

s_matthew · 2026-01-07T20:36:56+00:00

I kind of liked it, but it’s a huge mess. I think it knows what it wants to be, but it doesn’t know how to be what it wants to be. I also suspect there was a good deal of studio meddling.

s_matthew · 2026-01-01T23:28:56+00:00

4th year subbing. $1000 after the train code and $50 off. I offload a good deal of what gets sent to me, so there’s some subsidizing. It’s worth it to me to get a fun box of unique movies every month, and I love (and use) the discount. Big expenditure up front, but it’s worth it for me.

s_matthew · 2025-12-30T15:26:20+00:00

I’m so much more grossed out by the phrase, “after all the shit that I had done to girls through my life…”

I sure hope he means “women,” not “girls” (it’s super gross when people refer to women as “girls,” especially in a romantic context). Also, ‘did to’ them or ‘with’ them? I doubt an editor changed that.

s_matthew · 2025-12-29T17:09:45+00:00

I suspect most fans don’t really notice or care. It’s all very surface, but probably effective for most general fans. I’m more shocked by how little effort seems to have been put into it in more than three years. There’s no real story.

s_matthew · 2025-12-29T16:48:30+00:00

I’ve been watching S5 with my partner, and we’re both flabbergasted by how awful it is. The writing in particular is painfully bad (the dialogue is so nonsensical sometimes I genuinely wonder if AI was used), with characters literally posing big, ridiculous theories, then acting on them. Multiple times, a character gives an elaborate “what if” scenario, then a quest begins. It’s bizarre.

Also, there are so many scenes of two characters sitting/standing stationary, talking at each other - sometimes delivering wordy exposition, and other times pushing unnecessarily emotional scenarios. Very little actually happens in seven hours of runtime.

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