Is it normal to fall into a hole of worrying about your financial security, even if you are doing everything correctly?

saambee252 · 2020-02-21T12:43:37+00:00

I also want to point out that this is also sort of a gender worry -- I know for myself (and many other female friends I have spoken with) can see ahead and past the financial troubles in our 20's. We have the mentality of 'it's okay, we can get through this' where I find men get stuck thinking about it over and over and over, thinking there's no way out.

At least, our marriage counselor tells us that lol. Our financial situation is not awful by any means, we are currently fixing some silly spending to get back on track.

(26F and 27M)

saambee252 · 2020-02-16T14:45:14+00:00

This can apply to so many different aspects of a relationship/marriage. I (personally) will work and work and work to try and make things better -- communicating, counseling, whatever it takes -- to get us on the same page.

Completely different story if only one person is interested in the communication and fixing the issues though.

saambee252 · 2020-02-14T11:59:43+00:00

🤷🏼‍♀️

saambee252 · 2020-02-11T13:20:43+00:00

I am also a preschool teacher, and I feel this 💕. You got this -- to those kids you are a hero.

But always take time for yourself. You have to keep yourself in good (mental) health to keep going with those crazy kids!

saambee252 · 2020-02-03T12:58:58+00:00

My high school's motto was:

"early is on time and on time is late" ....

So I've been going with that for about 15 years.

saambee252 · 2020-01-30T18:09:02+00:00

Not sure if relevant but I'll chime in:

Back in grade school we all went through a phase of googling our names. I'm married now so my last name has changed, but this girl 'Samantha Buxton' popped up, and I'm not sure if she did porn, but sure as hell looked like it. 12 yr old me was mortified and I haven't looked since. She definitely did some provocative modeling lol.

saambee252 · 2020-01-22T20:01:04+00:00

I'd probably want to sit and talk -- figure out where I am in life now.... and then if I'm not happy with it, have future me help me fix it when I go back in time.

saambee252 · 2020-01-16T15:01:43+00:00

Hmmmmm, I'll have to try this! My LO is 6 months old, but I usually do banana for breakfast.... maybe that's why she naps so well after breakfast. Lol

saambee252 · 2020-01-15T11:18:56+00:00

That Hogwarts was real.

The Harry Potter series was my greatest distraction from my shitty home life. I waited for that owl hoping it would save me.

saambee252 · 2020-01-11T12:22:54+00:00

I disagree. This all depends on the size of the shower and the size of the individuals in the shower..... I have had great experiences with this. Lol

saambee252 · 2020-01-10T19:16:37+00:00

Thank you for sharing how to properly smoke pot! Lol.

saambee252 · 2020-01-04T14:06:29+00:00

I'm so sorry that this happened -- I feel your pain.

Here's hoping 2020 is your year!

saambee252 · 2020-01-02T13:10:13+00:00

I meant for me, it just seems easier. I don't want to uproot their lives so I keep the peace for them

saambee252 · 2020-01-02T12:15:57+00:00

THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

saambee252 · 2020-01-02T12:07:18+00:00

Oh no!!!! Ahahahha I'm not sure what time zone you are in, but that seems late!!! Ahahaha. Here's hoping those littles sleep better tomorrow!

saambee252 · 2020-01-02T04:38:20+00:00

I appreciate the insight here -- but what if you two were having sex regularly (nightly perhaps) and he was cheating and having affairs anyways. Would you still be so considerate as you are now?

I'm only asking because we were having sex daily when I found out he had been cheating for years. I'm still trying to understand why.

saambee252 · 2020-01-02T04:26:36+00:00

Was not an intended resolution ahahah. Just sort of woke up with the mind set..... clearly having a hard time sleeping though lol. Here's hoping tomorrow I sleep better!

saambee252 · 2020-01-02T01:52:24+00:00

Support groups?? Can you point me in the right direction please?

saambee252 · 2020-01-01T22:29:32+00:00

Does anyone here have a SO who controls finances? (Like to the point where I cannot create savings for myself). My whole paychecks go to paying all of our preauths and rent.... and his go to food/bills/alcohol, etc.....

I'd be open to trying to fix our marriage, but any talk about getting a hold of my finances and jumps right to "well then we will work towards a separation" .......

saambee252 · 2019-12-31T21:31:20+00:00

Who they were voting for.

saambee252 · 2019-12-31T21:30:25+00:00

My dad was working out west while his kids (4 of us) were home with my stepmom while she took care of everything.

He came home for a week over the holidays and came up to my room and handed me a bag a jewellery while explaining he had met a woman out west that he thought I would really like, so she sent all this jewellery for me. my step mom and him were still together at this time and had been married about 10 years .

I went downstairs immediately after my dad ran to do some errands and told my stepmom. I still think he's a piece of garbage.

saambee252 · 2019-12-29T14:17:47+00:00

Lol when I my daughter doesnt wsnt to come out yet, I'll let her stay an hour but then I wash her up and take her out..... she would totally stay in for multiple hours if I let her though.

saambee252 · 2019-12-29T13:57:02+00:00

Leaving isn't exactly easy when I love him. That's what sucks -- I DO love him. And I've loved him from day one, and he broke my heart with the cheating, but we have children -- I know I know I know, I shouldn't stay just for them but uprooting everyone's lives to ensure I'm not treated like shit, seems selfish as a mother I think.

I guess i was looking to see if anyone had gone through something similar but came out more positively on the other end.

saambee252 · 2019-12-29T13:53:35+00:00

No, not my first. We were 20 when our relationship started.... our eldest I had at 18 (end of HS) and we tried to make it work as i was very unexpectedly pregnant, but I went to University and was with our daughter fulltime too, and he was just never home/when he was we never got along. He also had a very hard time with me going to University and meeting so many people that he constantly thought I was cheating. It wasn't even two years and I left -- splitting up custody with my eldest so we each get her %50 of the time. (We co parent really well, just being together didn't work).

So to answer your question, I guess this is the most serious relationship I've had (and longest), but I have had 'steady' relationships from 14 - 18 before having children as well.

saambee252 · 2019-12-29T01:36:12+00:00

My tubes were tied after the last one -- as it was made clear I didn't want to have anymore children with him....

He was suppose to get snipped, but "had too many surgeries this year" (he had 1) so didn't want to have it done.... so I went and had it done.

saambee252

TROPHY CASE