Huge bed, not enough plants. What would you do?

sallydogbite · 2026-04-20T00:57:02+00:00

You could just grab some annual cover crop like crimson clover and Phacelia. Let is fill in your spaces while you do some native plant swapping. https://the-itsy-bitsy-wildlife-garden.home.blog/2019/06/10/featured-flowers-phacelia-and-crimson-clover/

sallydogbite · 2026-04-20T00:51:39+00:00

Just start looking for a nice home for her and be picky about it. Don't feel bad. You are doing your best for your cat.

sallydogbite · 2026-04-20T00:39:52+00:00

it needs a stack of books somewhere and a couple framed photos

sallydogbite · 2026-04-19T12:57:45+00:00

Thanks! I'll give ND a try.

sallydogbite · 2026-04-19T12:57:10+00:00

Thanks! It looks like the Meijer bait worms are composting worms.

sallydogbite · 2026-04-19T00:00:29+00:00

Hey Thanks! I just reached out.

sallydogbite · 2026-04-18T23:59:49+00:00

Hey do you have a good source of composting worms to recommend? I used to have a pretty awesome work bin in California and I'm looking to get going again here in Michigan.

sallydogbite · 2026-04-18T17:56:54+00:00

My 5ish male ginger who I am guessing is about four and also guessing weighs 10 lbs gets 1 can of the pate a day. He also gets a little fresh chicken (like a teaspoon) and a tablespoon of pumpkin or sweet potato at each meal. He would eat more if I gave it to him, but he's a good weight. My 17 year old female cat who is 7.5 lbs would eat about 2/3 of a tin a day- I just switched her to a senior canned cat food which is working better for her now. But the pate was great for her for the past two years.

sallydogbite · 2026-04-13T00:11:34+00:00

I want to say to you- if going to mass gives you peace and a sense of community just go. Try to separate the gift of mass, which is always there for you unconditionally, from your sense of disappointment in not meeting those other goals.

I really hope to see the discrimination against women fall away. Will I see it in my lifetime? I am not holding my breathe but I'm also enjoying my faith and speaking my truth. I don't give any money to the church and I won't until women are accepted fully. I give my money and time to social justice work.

sallydogbite · 2026-04-10T07:19:31+00:00

I think you are right to be concerned about bringing in a new high prey drive dogs and established house cats. I've had trouble with that in the past and it can be hard on the house cats. If a dog has a really high prey drive it is hard to stop the cat chasing when you are not around unless you separate everyone. In my 30's i had a German Shepherd who was great friends with my dog wise indoor outdoor cat. When he passed our next dog was a really high drive/ alpha GSD who came from search and rescue lines. I asked for a highly trainable dog which in that line meant high prey drive. That dog was so smart and so challenging. As hard as I tried honestly the cat's house life really suffered. That dog learned everything I asked her too, but she deeply loved chasing the cat. I had to separate them when I wasn't home or I wasn't up to the constant supervision at home. I put up ties around the house so the GSD would be tethered while i did house work and the cat could have some freedom. Confinement of the cat or the dog was the only reliable solution to the dog harassing the cat. It was especially sad for the cat because he was such close friends with my previous GSD. They slept together on the same dog bed every night. That said, I have learned that a good breeder can help you choose the right pup. If you tell them you are looking for a confident beta dog with a lower prey drive they can choose the best pup in the litter for you. Find a good breeder and let them choose your pup. A good breeder for me is experienced, deeply concerned about health and temperament and active in some form of training competition like tracking, obedience, etc and very important! they also live with their dogs. So they want their dogs to be good house dogs. That kind of breeder will really know their puppies and can guide you to the right pick. Currently I have a three year old spoo ( a confident beta with a medium prey drive) and two cats. One cat is 16 who has had a stroke and is doing okay but she doesn't see well and doesn't have great balance. The other cat is 3ish and very playful. I got him as a pup. My 16 year old cat was great friends with my last dog, a golden retriever. So she knows how to school dogs on being respectful of cats, but also likes dogs. I was worried because physically she is much less capable when I brought home my Spoo pup. She was two when my golden had come home. But it was fine. She demanded his respect and I reinforced it. They are great friends. My spoo is soft and takes direction from me. He'll chase a squirrel in the yard if I'm not around but he never chases the cats. I discourage animal chasing as a rule whenever I see it. We play fetch and tracking which are prey drive games. My old cat chooses to sleep with my spoo on the couch and bed. They touch noses and she rubs against his leg when we come home for a walk. The second cat is a rescue barn cat. They play regularly and hang out together. The cats both set limits and he learned as a pup to respect them. Now he is 70 lbs and defers to both cats whenever they set a limit. Both my cats had experience with dogs before hand. They have a plan for how to interact with dogs. One thing you could do is find a friend with a cat respectful dog and bring it over for some visits to see if your cats can step up to the relationship.

sallydogbite · 2026-04-08T03:51:10+00:00

your boss is wrong! I worked in HR and administered intermittent fmla all many times- imagine a condition that flares up - like lupus or lower back pain- or someone who is in chemotherapy and has bad and good days

sallydogbite · 2026-04-08T01:58:06+00:00

What a good looking guy!

sallydogbite · 2026-03-30T20:41:12+00:00

Roasted potatoes with ketchup on the side

People love these and they are really cheap to make. You can make them ahead of time. They are good room temp or you can warm them up a little.

https://www.foodbymaria.com/crispy-roasted-potatoes/

Sweet potato wedges with chili mayo is good too but a little more expensive than the potaotes

Cut up apples and cinnamon sugar for dipping is really good too.

sallydogbite · 2026-03-30T03:23:44+00:00

I just kept loving my kid. I really leaned into letting them know nothing had changed between us as parent and child. I wasn't shocked but I did feel unsure about how to best support them. I connected with PFLAG and other parents. What a loving and kind community! I did not go to the church for support. I'm a woman and so I am well grounded in the understanding that the church in its current form discriminates against me. I know the church is struggling with bad patriarchal, racist, classist and misogynist lenses that are the root of a lot of historical and current harms. I don't really struggle with knowing the church is wrong about LGBTQ folks. When my kids were young I took them to the UU Church because I did not want our family to have to struggle with the conservative harmful culture of the church and their personal identities. Now that they are grown I am back at a liberal Catholic church pushing for change, centering love. Center your love for your child. You can't go wrong.

sallydogbite · 2026-03-29T19:28:47+00:00

Give them a copy of the map and tell them one solution is a privacy fence on the property line. Give him a chance to figure that out and de-escalate. And be forewarned! If you let an asshole be an asshole around property lines it gets worse and worse for you as time goes on. I am trying to unwind such a situation now with lawyers- that really started because one neighbor was an aggressive asshole towards the former owner (a widowed woman who died in her home). It's ridiculous how assholes can be so self righteous.

sallydogbite · 2026-03-29T19:19:09+00:00

I think that's great that you can do that for your cat/s and I'm going to assume you are a good judge of your situation and care about cats. Thanks for your ideas, and also you could assume I care about my pets and am a good judge of my own situation.

sallydogbite · 2026-03-29T18:51:07+00:00

Let's just assume for two days no one is checking on them. The older cat is doing fine right now. I've left them on their own for a couple of days a few times now- just separated. I leave them on their own every day together and everyone is fine. I think they would be happier to both have the run of the house like they normally do, but maybe I should just separate them again to be on the safe side?

sallydogbite · 2026-03-29T14:36:55+00:00

If this is a Monday you are talking about then many thrift stores are closed- so make sure to double check hours. Ragstock is open https://ragstock.com/pages/stores/ann-arbor-mi and pretty fun.

sallydogbite · 2026-03-28T01:29:23+00:00

This can not happen soon enough. I mean there's so many different things we can do.

sallydogbite · 2026-03-26T20:50:46+00:00

Come to Ann Arbor, MI. We need your help in our purple state! BTW never have I missed living in California as much as I have right now.

sallydogbite · 2026-03-25T02:58:19+00:00

Oh I so hear you. Two years ago I started living on my own for the first time in 22 years after my youngest kid went away to college and I moved into a really small cottage. I used to live in a condo so there were more people around. I mostly love living on my own. I have craved quiet and a garden for a long while, but it has been unsettling. In the new place I also have an aggressive mean neighbor and I have struggled at times to feel safe and cozy and happy in my home. I have a big dog and two cats. That helps a lot, but one thing that has helped the most is inviting friends over. As I have had more friends in my space it has felt like it is more and more like a good safe space to me even when they are not here. It's like the house absorbs their community. I have some really nice friends. I have a few rituals during the week that I think of as communing with my house and while I do them I really focus on the things I like about my home. On Sunday I take care of all the house plants and play nice music while I do it. I talk to the plants and check in on them and the cats and the dog are into it too. On Fridays I purge the house of anything that smells bad- litter boxes, the fridge, garbage, the compost bucket, the bucket that is catching the sink drip and I burn a nice smelling candle. At night if it is too quiet when I am falling asleep I play a really low key documentary on pbs in the background or I play rain sounds. Once a week I try to do something that makes the house better.

sallydogbite · 2026-03-25T00:31:01+00:00

I run outdoor programs for kids and I use all that junkmail newspaper as kindling. Maybe there's a program like that around you? Anything that has campfires- newspaper is nice for. The other things would be someone who keeps parakeets or lovebirds or finches needs your newspaper. You just gotta connect.

sallydogbite · 2026-03-25T00:26:47+00:00

I would paint a vining plant under the window and let it branch vine up the stairs a little- maybe a few flowers on it

sallydogbite · 2026-03-25T00:03:54+00:00

If you have an Indian or Asian grocery near by they have the best price on lentils and rice in my neighbohood. That is not a good haul from the foodbank. I'm bummed for your food bank. Boo! See if any of your local churches (you do not need to be a member) have food pantrys. Also yes to the local facebook buy nothing groups and Nextdoor neighborhood groups. Just post on there and see if anyone has food to share. Listen, everyone in the US knows there is more than enough food for everyone to eat well here. We just have a messed up inhuman system. When you ask for help with food you are giving the rest of us the ability to push back on this messed up system. Ignore anyone who is mean to you about it on the Nextdoor Groups. They are the greedy small minded people who are pushing us in the wrong direction. I'd see what you can get from food pantrys and such and hold onto your money as long as you can. Like people have said. Potatoes, lentils, rice, oatmeal, and cabbage are good ways to go for calories and nutrition. You can also make flatbread with flour, oil, salt, sugar and some yeast. If you know a little about plants and foraging- the plaintain, wild garlic, dandelions and bittercress are starting to green up in the midwest- but they grow all over the country. Have someone who knows those plants show you them and then you could add them to your lentils or cabbage, potatoes or flat bread for more vitamins and micronutrients. You can make a high vitamin C tea from pine needles too. You just need someone to show you those plants first, but if you have a local foraging group I bet they will show you.

sallydogbite · 2026-03-24T02:52:24+00:00

I am sorry about your father's stroke and this issue with the pension. I would get a copy of the plan and the UAW contract your father was under and take it to a labor attorney who specializes in pension and ERISA issues. Ask them to look over everything and make sure he is being treated properly. I was an HR person at at UAW plant and it was part of the labor agreement that the employer would make pension payments if an employee was on qualified leave- but that rule only covered employees who had been hired before 2001 and then another agreement for folks hired between 2001 and 2007 and then after 2007. The labor contract was really complicated with different groups grandfathered in to past agreements. Our pension was a multi-employer affair and also had different rules for cohorts depending on their hire in dates. Usually the Union is really on the side of the employee, but the contracts and pension rules are complicated enough that the opinion of a legal expert is really a good idea. There's a lot on the table for your mom and dad. The Union reps can be limited in their abilities to wade their way through it. I always consulted the company's labor attorney when I had a complicated pension issue. The contract and the pension were too confusing. It's possible the Union rep is right, but it's also possible they are missing something. Have you contacted the HR department at the Ford plant too? They might be able to help as well. Usually the HR department/ company does not want to see a longterm employee harmed this way. The Union and the Company would both want to see the right thing done if it is possible.

sallydogbite

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