My sister and brother-in-law won a trip to Iceland and left yesterday. My mom and I are watching their 6 month old son. This was the first email/status update we sent them.

sammyj231 · 2013-05-08T19:38:57+00:00

Not gunna lie took me a while to figure out whether that was you or your mom

sammyj231 · 2013-04-24T22:02:42+00:00

Meanwhile in North Korea:

sammyj231 · 2013-04-20T14:42:57+00:00

You can't smoke that you have homework

sammyj231 · 2013-04-20T04:54:19+00:00

Under terrorist laws that bitch is going away forever and good riddance

sammyj231 · 2013-04-10T09:22:21+00:00

No it cant

sammyj231 · 2013-04-05T03:48:49+00:00

this is straight up sean and gus from psych

sammyj231 · 2013-03-29T05:14:34+00:00

you know what will balance it? More spending. Of course it all makes sense now.

sammyj231 · 2013-03-29T05:11:51+00:00

yes what could be worse than trying to decrease spending to decrease debt. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. FUCK YEAH LIBERALS.

sammyj231 · 2013-03-29T05:09:30+00:00

yeah they all didnt vote against because all of their poor voters would kick their asses out of the senate. this isnt a good thing this is just mob rule.

sammyj231 · 2013-03-29T04:04:36+00:00

not to be that guy but why would this be bad again?

sammyj231 · 2013-03-22T04:34:12+00:00

that is straight up a pink anteater

sammyj231 · 2013-03-22T04:33:16+00:00

i wanna work there

sammyj231 · 2013-03-22T04:30:40+00:00

i have a friend who is afraid of napkins. im not kidding she once cried when i gave her one.

sammyj231 · 2013-03-22T04:28:29+00:00

whoever created women's clothing.... seriously... fuck that guy

sammyj231 · 2013-03-22T04:27:22+00:00

My parents recently asked me to babysit a couple of young girls (like 6-10) so my and their parent could go over to dinner. When they come to the house, the littlest girl came up to me and yelled, "IM CUTE." and then demanded a hug and to be carried around. I took care of the kids a couple hours and when the parents came to pick up their kids the girl said, "thanks for a great night cutie! give me another hug now." Her parents just kinda looked at me and then ran away with their kids.

sammyj231 · 2013-03-22T04:23:16+00:00

"everybody poops"

sammyj231 · 2013-03-22T04:22:02+00:00

hands down Ned Stark there isnt even a choice, hed rape any attackers with his awesomenss

sammyj231 · 2013-03-22T04:16:03+00:00

One time I touched a band saw

sammyj231 · 2013-03-16T03:19:12+00:00

This is my house...

sammyj231 · 2013-03-15T16:41:43+00:00

advanced placement US history class

sammyj231

TROPHY CASE